Feel like Ive been kicked in the teeth

Just when I have got some sort of 'normality' back I go and get a set back. Ive been told that my job will come to an end at the end of this month. This is due to the school not having enough money to pay me. I feel a bit unfairly treated but Ive been told there are many cutbacks at school at the moment. I feel like Ive been kicked in the teeth.

This has been mentioned before and I was aware that my contract was temporary but now that Im working part time I thought my job could be extended until the end of term at least.

I have been working hard to sort out our finances and reduced some of our bills. I have also managed to get a small amount of ESA to top up my salary so everything was fine and we felt like we can see the future a bit clearer but now it has all been changed.

I will have to contact ESA and see if I can get full benefit. I have also inquired about PIP this week so it might all work out financially.

A part of me is a bit relieved too, as I have been getting very anxious about going into work each day. So I wont have that anymore but I do need to find a purpose to my day. Maybe it is time to get a dog. We have been talking about this for ages and keep saying it is not the right time so maybe now it is!

We have to be positive.


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30 Replies

  • Hi David

    Oh, what a shame! Just when things were looking up for you as well. It is good that you are being so positive and seeing some of the advantages of not working but as you say it is difficult to manage without some kind of structure to the days. A dog sounds like a great idea - I've been thinking about getting one for ages but as we have four pedigree cats and they are expensive to keep and might object so far we have not got one. My rationale is that it would MAKE me go out for decent length walks but my husband is doubtful...

    I'm up and down as well, I think the weather does not help as it is fairly dull and quite chilly here!

    I hope things work out for you financially.


  • Thanks Sue

    I agree having a dog would make me go for a walk and also it would give me company.

    I feel quite low today as Im think about the future and its scary. I also went to a course this morning about how to control stress which has really made me feel drained.

    Just sitting quietly now with a cuppa and music on.

    David x

  • Yes, I've been feeling a bit like that too today, there e something in the air! Ironice about the course then... Enjoy your music. I usually listen to Classic fm but when I feel tied or low that's when I tend to switch it off! :) Take care, Suex

  • Sue, don't get a dog unless you like walking in the pouring rain, they're an 'all weather' commitment!

    Lorraine x

  • That's why I haven't got one - but if I do ever get one I will make sure it's needs are met - sometimes I wish the cats didn't need feeding, etc but still meet their needs. I would only get one that needs minimal exercise and we have a great spacious park not far away so would take it there. Sue x

  • Oh my gosh, David. I'm so sorry to hear about that. It's tough losing a job. I cab relate to you here because I lost a job once. I didn't lose it due to cutbacks, I lost it because I wasn't good enough, my anxiety got the better of me so I was too stressed and nervous and it was coming across.

    I got so depressed after that. Felt like I wasn't good enough to do such a simple job. It was round about that time that I was diagnosed with anxiety. And then later I realised the anxiety was interlinked with depression (for every high there's a low). I just felt really disappointed in myself. I also felt worried I wouldn't be able to cope with any job, never mind actually finding a new one.

    I can relate to feeling like you've been kicked in the teeth. I felt that myself a few months ago when I had to leave uni coz I was failing and then the man I loved didn't want to be with me anymore. My plans came tumbling down.

    But since then I have been doing better. I have a crappy job right now that barely pays for anything tbh. But the important thing is that I'm feeling better emotionally.

    I am sure you will find a new job very soon if that is what you are looking. In the mean time I hope you are not worried about money etc.

    Getting a dog would be wonderful. I have a greyhound and I love him so much. Cuddling him is truly the highlight of my day and they say animals can help to cure depression. Dogs are more loyal than humans ever could be and I love that about them :). Unconditional love (Well, sometimes lol).

    I hope you feel better, David. And I hope this post helps you. I know how you are feeling right now. But keep looking forward. Nothing lasts forever, even unemployment :).

    All the best xx

  • That's a massive blow, but I guess you knew it was possibly on the cards. What's the demand for TA's like where you live? In Wales it's quite easy to get work. Glad you're managing to stay positive and look to the future a bit x

  • Hi David,

    I'm really sorry about the job. As Lucy says are there many teaching assistant jobs on the Isle of Wight? Or perhaps the funding might be reinstated come September? In some inverse way perhaps it is the right thing to happen as it means that you don't have to say how you are feeling about increasing anxiety about work. As in the decision was made for you? It gives you time to look after yourself. Just because part of you was relieved about it happening. If that makes sense? I just worried that you were doing too much. Xx I hope you get the financial side sorted out so that means that you don't have that to worry about. You sorted out the ESA really well and quickly.

    My jack russell puppy is almost 5 months old. Would my husband have got him if I hadn't had a meltdown in February? No. Would I ever give him up now? No. Is he expensive( beds, vets, food) yes. But he provides unconditional love, means I have to get up and is always pleased to see me, even when I just leave the room for a minute. That is the dog and not my husband! In my experience it is never the right time to get a dog but sometimes you just have to do it or you never will. Sometimes the universe just sends you a sign and it is up to you how you interpret it.....

    Stay positive,

    Sarah xx

  • Thanks for the responses to this. I wasnt expecting a response I just wanted to get it off my chest. However, it was really good to get some support.

    The comments about dogs are good. Watch this space.

    David x

  • Hi David,

    Sorry to hear that, although I remember you did mention this before. Maybe

    its a blessing in disguise as that job seemed to be v.stressful. Just take

    it day by day.


  • Yes Hannah Im thinking that now, it is a blessing in disguise. A new start and new opportunities. X

  • A dog would enhance your life,we all need some relaxation.

  • Hi david im sorry to hear about your job,,,i was interested to hear about the esa and that maybe you would look into

    pip ?,

    That's a new one on me!,,, could you explain what it is ?.

    As far as the dog is concerned,, I would think long and hard before you get one , theres lots of added expences involved in ownership, the main one being insurance which can be expensive !.

    But on the whole dogs are very loyal creatures , fun to be with most of the time , but also very binding .

    Just like children I suppose.


  • Hi Pete, thanks for your message. PIP is personal independance payment, it replaces disability living allowance. I have been told I could claim that as the illness is affecting how I live each day.

    Still thinking about the dog.


  • Yes but so worth it. Sometimes you cannot put a price on an animal, I have

    A cat and treat it better than myself. Do you have children yourself? Pete.


  • Hi Hannah.

    I don't have kids I am a singleton !

    Got a staffie though ! 16 yrs old.

    He can be a pain in the bum ,,,but I love him !!.


  • Pete Staffies are lovely. My sister had one and he was great.

  • Get a dog golfer, best friend your ever have.

  • We are looking for the right one. What do you recommend.

  • A JACK russell they are great dogs Ive just lost my boy he was 102 in dog years. he was a pedigree from essex and now I have his 4 year old daughter Mar MAR . tHEY ARE LOYAL.CLEVER PROTECTIVE AND LOVE BELLY RUBS AND ADVENTURES. GET A PUP FROM A GOOD BREEDER ALL THE BEST WITH THAT

  • A nice yorkie, loyal, don't moult and very faithful

  • Sounds lovely .

  • So sorry about the job.But as I always say when one door closes another opens,I hope in your case things work out for you..I have a 13 yr old westie,the best friend I have ever had..Regards Laura


  • Thanks for advice.

  • Hi David,

    Just wanted to check in with you. How has your week been overall? Up and down?

    Sarah x

  • Hi Sarah

    Thanks for thinking of me. Ive had a fairly good week. However, I have felt strange with realising I am unemployed. I havent been like this for 20 years.

    This has made me feel a bit low, but I have been pleased not to worry about going to work.

    Trying to keep positive and staying active. Ive been to the gym 3 times, been on a cycle ride and cut grass. Now Im doing shopping ....... on line.

    Hope you are alright.

    David x

  • Hi David

    I've been wondering how you're adjusting to not working, it'll take time

    How's the list been going? :)

    Oh I don't feel so guilty now as I've been doing my shopping online, I've not been feeling up to going near a supermarket and people also I don't drive ... Online food shopping is the biz for sure

    Hope you are well :)

    Lesley x

  • David,

    It is going to be strange readjusting but as you say the worrying and anxiety has now ceased about work. It just moves onto something else unfortunately.

    I have had an okay week. Better than the last couple of weeks. I'm trying to be more positive and get out. I'm watching the d day celebrations tonight and both myself and my partner are crying.......so sad and poignant.

    Sarah x

  • Hi David, you sound as if your doing ok, keeping busy is

    good too, and just take it day by day.


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