Self confidence

So i was on the anxiety forum but i feel my symptoms have somewhat developed into depression a little more- as is the case. (anxiety and depression seem to go hand in hand skipping down the road having a lovely time together)

At the moment i am having more and more of an issue with self esteem and confidence, i am just feeling so low about myself in general and my ability to live a fulfilling life. I worry more and more about what people think of me and if they like me- even my close friends and family and it's horrible as i find myself watching everything i say and analysing peoples reactions i havent ever felt quite like this before so im not sure how to go about fixing it and overcoming the negative thoughts and feelings.

I feel it is stopping me from moving on with my life as i am just so scared of everything at the moment... i.e., am i a good enough girlfriend, will i ever get a job that is right for me, will i ever be able to have a family and these just go round and round in my head constantly. I really need to find some way of being comfortable with myself and who i am as i know it's kinda ok and i always used to be but im just finding it so difficult at the moment

So anyway thats me and my issues at the moment and im sure lots of you understand exactly how i feel. I shall carry on plodding through each day as it comes and keep on trying to improve things


7 Replies

  • Hi snow, welcome to AOD :)

    I can relate to over-analysing people's reactions. It does sound like it might be slipping into depression.

    To be honest, the only way really to "fix" it is to go see a GP and see if you need treatment. Depression is actually caused by a physical chenge in your brain so doesn't necessarily go away with time.

    I don't think depression and anxiety are skipping hand in hand - I think they're snogging behind the bike sheds! ;)

    Hope today is one of the better ones for you.

  • Hi

    When I read your post I felt like I was reading about myself. well done for blogging, everyone on this forum is really kind so feel free to post on here even if you need to rant. I would definitely recommend you goto see your gp for a chat, you could even take a copy of this post with you

    Jules x

  • Hiya,

    I completely understand how you feel, in fact it's exactly how I feel all the time too. Unfortunately I've put weight on due to the depression (not the tablets though, I put weight on before I was taking them), I've gone from a size 6-8 to a size 12, and even though it's a completely average and even healthy weight I can't help but look in the mirror and cry. I hate what I look like and it's damaged my self esteem and confidence so badly.

    That was a little while ago, but since then I've been trying to make myself better, and don't get my wrong I've had my dark days, and still look in the mirror like ugh, but least I don't cry and manage to go out now without hiding in my bedroom like the whole of last year.

    The thing is these thoughts just don't help you at all, maybe try and focus on something that you enjoy or something that makes you feel better? Have you spoken to your boyfriend about it? He might be of some comfort for you with some reassuring words.

    What is it exactly that has got your self esteem down? Maybe you could try and beat it by doing the opposite - like me I try and put some nice natural make up on, or paint my nails, do my hair nicely. It's only little things but it does help.

    Why don't you give those kind of things ago? And if you haven't spoken to any professionals about the way you feel, then I suggest you do, maybe CBT or counselling can help you overcome the way you feel? I'm due to start a counselling course that adds CBT into it, hopefully it'll help me motivate myself into actually losing weight.

    Hope you're ok,



  • Cara I totally agree with you about trying to increase your self

    Worth. Making an effort with appearance helps, pick out some clothes

    That you feel good In. Be groomed and keep hair and skin looked after.

    and as you say a little natural make up. I find these things help me

    And I know looks are only a little part of self worth

    Make a list of all your good points and strengths, we forget these

    When Depression pays us a visit. Make yourself something nice to eat

    And settle I with good DVD or book. You need to treat yourself

    Very well at this time. It will help.

    Hope you begin to feel better soon.


  • Thanks Hannah, I do try, sometimes though it just gets the best of you, doesn't it? x

  • Hello BOB here

    In my past I found that much of what we feel comes from childhood and when we get into our teens these feelings become self fulfilling, sadly this possibly can persist in a work environment. also continues into our private lives

    When we are approached with negativity throughout our lives we feel we are not worthy or if we make errors this can effect the self worth we feel towards ourselves.

    One problem we have is when parents are not getting on together, the child becomes a punch ball between family members and their problems, this in some ways become quite an abusive period as it can go on well into the childs an adult. Sibling rivalry can also show its fiery head especially when the adult takes sides of the accuser

    Over the years the feeling of self worth and distrust will effect feelings when entering into relationships,this somehow amplifies, and the patients enter an abusive relationship as this is what the victim is used to and requires. If this is a problem not only anxiety and depression continues and effects the persons life and happiness.

    This is not always the case and it is just an example of what can cause problems associated with self worth.

    Personally you need to sort this out as it is no good not trusting, feeling worthless and not loved. Please see the GP and see a CPN who will talk through these problems. No-one is worthless we all expect to be treated well and be respect throughout our lives

    All the best


  • Hey, thank you all for your responses. I have been to see the doctor as this is something i have suffered from for a while so am on tablets already. Just thought putting it down in writing on here may help and its always useful to hear what others think or experience.


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