I sit here silent but am screaming inside

[vik191]

I have a big family but i feel alone as no one can see the pain am in everyday and when i try and talk about how low i am feeling all i get is am stressing them out . I don't know what to do as i have now started to think they would be better off with out me

[gardengnome]

keep trying to tell the family how horrible you feel, lots of people try to defend themselves from other peoples pain, but to get support you gonna need to share some of that stress, and be really frank about how important their support is to you. don't let it get so far that they find out the reality from a call by A&E.

You might not be ready for counselling, but there are plenty of phone lines where you can talk and explore your feelings, and lots of people on this site will relate to how you feel.

[celticgirl]

hi viki i agree with gardennome you must keep trying to talk to your family ... have u spoken to your gp .. i have used such phone helplines like samaritans , and i found them so helpful please don't think that your family would be better off without you because its not true... this site is fantastic to talk to people who have suffered or are suffering from depression x

[vik191]

I will keep trying it just gets so hard . I feel like i have let them down as i was always the strong one in the family

[Jeffju]

Don't think you have let anyone down.... we don't want this awful illness and we have to find ways to get the better of it....... not easy I know. I use any help I can get my GP, psycholgist , friends, ( and it's amazing if you open up a bit how many other people have or have had mental health issues), family and support places like this. We know everyday is a struggle and have to take each day at a time and break it down into smaller steps if this helps. My psychologist told me to take things slowly and to not look at the 'big picture' as it's too frightening and I find this helps. Just baby steps at a time. Most people do not understand how we can feel and probably your family don't either BUT it doesn't ,mean they don't love you or would be better off without you. Thinking of you. xx

[Janetb]

I know its easy to say don't blame yourself but try to put that into practice, remember your family will want the best for you and talking to them about your pain will help them to understand you better, hopefully, seek out professional help and use the helplines as well, samaritans are there 27/7 08945909090

[sue930]

I know just how you feel Vik 191, think l am at end of my tether right now...in fact l going into the garden and work so hard it causes me pain so l can think of that instead....wish you well, keep going!!!