Would love to meet friends from England (Northwest area's) who too suffer with depression :)

[AmelieStarr]

Would love to meet friends from England (Northwest area's) who too suffer with depression and can relate just for nice friendly chats with decent girls

[Hidden]

Well I would love to but unfortunately at 63 I'm too old to be called a girl! I hope you meet people this way, I think it's a great idea. Suexx

[Suzie40 in reply to Hidden]

I would love to meet you if I lived closer x

[Hidden in reply to Suzie40]

Aw thanks Suzie, it would be nice to make new friends and yes I would have liked to meet up too. I realise increasingly how few friends I have although people seem to like me. I find it incredibly sad, readily feel overwhelmed with distress about it. In fact when I read the e-mail notifying me of your reply I was just feeling close to tears so now am! It's nice of you to be so positive towards me, thanks. Suex

[Suzie40 in reply to Hidden]

I have lots of people I can chat to at work, or at the school gates, but few people I can truly call a friend. In fact, there isn't one single person in the real works I have talked about my depression to. I've tried to touch on it with certain people but they just laugh it off. That tells me a lot about whether or not they are true friends x

[Hidden in reply to Suzie40]

Hi Suzie,

Yes I can identify with much of what you write as I felt similarly for very long periods of my life. I know what you mean about people laughing it off, sometimes people just can't cope with hearing about depression or else don't believe you can be chatty but unhappy underneath.

Now I'm 63 and have a therapist who I see weekly but will finish with soon as we can't afford endless therapy. As a result of many years of therapy with different people I have one 30 year friendship where I am now able to spontaneously burst into tears when those feelings are triggered and I have sobbed like a baby with her. I have another long term friend with whom I can share the facts about how I feel but would never be able to cry with as she also laughs it off like your people at the school gates because it would be too painful for her to feel. When I was in Mexico I sobbed like a baby with my daughter comforting me! My husband cares and I can tell him some things but he tends to feel helpless and makes me feel worse as a result. I can sometimes feel close to tears with other people if appropriate, it depends a lot upon who they are and what they are like themselves - and of course I can write on here. It's taken 23 years of therapy on and off to get to that point!!

I really envy you having all the people to chat to because I used to have that many years ago but didn't feel connected to something in myself, didn't quite feel real and spontaneous. Now I do feel real but the people I mention above are almost the only people I EVER talk to apart from three people I phone and see maybe twice a year each and my hairdresser and postman. We both have difficult situations but for really different reasons.

It sounds as though you need someone you can talk to. Have you thought about asking your GP to refer you for therapy. I think you would find it helpful to have someone there for you, to share your feelings with and to find yourself able to separate fully from your mum's situation without loving her any the less. I think that would really help you and that you need that to happen in order that you can cope with the grief in a healthy way when she dies, which she undoubtedly will sooner or later. I'm not thinking of symptom relief via CBT but of longer term talking therapy, preferably psychodynamic. There may be a specialist psychotherapy service within your area, you could google to find out or I could do it for you if you tell me the area. You may have to stress how bad you have been feeling and how long for with your GP and also stress that you want a talking treatment and not more meds, etc as they sometimes have a tendency to take the fastest and cheapest treatment route! It's just a thought. Let me know if I can help you find a place.

It would be on the NHS but there would be a waiting time first, not immediately. You could go privately and start straight away but that would cost £40 or so per session unless you could find someone who offers a sliding scale according to clients' income level.

I won't say keep smiling because I always think that leads to everyone putting on a happy front and feeling just as rubbishy underneath. But do keep writing because at least we can be online friends!

Suexx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Would love to make conversation with you I am yourage if there is a way of contact which I know is difficult on here to exchange numbers.Take Care xx

[Hidden]

To Amelie

Sorry we've kind of taken over your blog! I would love to be your friend but I'm old enough to be your Gran!! I hope people answer you, if they don't it will be because they are nervous of meeting in reality - some people need the anonymity of online chatting. What about finding friends in other ways too? A really good way for you would be to join a therapy group as that way you will be accepted with the depression and not have to hide it, will gradually work on the causes of the depression and hopefully it will lift over time and also you will learn really good social skills that will enable you to form deeper friendships with people outside the group - then you could meet people via hobbies, classes, etc. If you want to know how to find group therapy let me know.

Suexx

[Adorable1]

Like you I would love to meet for coffee, unfortunately I live in the south of England so not quite close enough....good luck though

Sue xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi AmelieStar, what a lovely idea to meet like minded people. I would like to beable to meet up with someone/people who live in my town to chat & help support one another.

I live in Belfast. There are a few people on the forum from Belfast too but I have felt that when I try to interact with them I am just ignored. I find it a great pity because sometimes speaking to people going through the same illness are very understanding & non judgemental compared to those who have not suffered with this invisable illness.

I wish you luck & hope you do manage to meet up with some young people in a similar condition to you.

Best wishes

Jackie xx