Last spring I was s**ually abused by a guy at college. It's been about a year now, and whenever I go back for school I have basically no sex drive. I don't really get the urge to masturbate or take sexy pictures of myself like I used to. When I go home for the summer or winter breaks, I'll have some sex drive but not the same as I used to. I miss feeling sexually empowered. I also really miss having physical/sexual intimacy with people.
I can't help but feel really frustrated and angry; I had just got out of my first relationship and I was starting to explore more sexually. I was so ready to grow further into my sexuality and I cant help but feel like my sex drive has been stolen from me. Honestly every time I think about it I just picture myself punching my abuser in the face lol. I want to have casual sex again but I am so scared of getting in another situation where my boundaries aren't respected. He was such a nice guy and pressured me in such a non-threatening way, it made me realize how easily SA can happen and that terrifies me. Does anyone have any advice on growing back into your sexuality & how to feel safe in sexual situations?
Thanks for your time, I know this is a dark topic. Sending love to fellow SA survivors <3