Tightness

[lala1233]

hi there. when me and my boyfriend try to have sex, i am very tight and find it very hard to get the whole of the penis in. this is very frustrating for me and i always feel like i’m letting him down. any help?

[nicole99]

Hi there, sorry to here your having trouble. My advice is to completely relax so your muscles are less tense, allow yourself to loosen up and breath, do some foreplay. Foreplay is key! and definitely use lube. You might want the atmosphere to be relaxed, like lighting candles and music. Also remember to take your time and it will all happen naturally. Good luck 😊

[lala1233 in reply to nicole99]

thank you very much x

[Runningfever in reply to lala1233]

Hi there, I do agree with all the comments from nicole99. Try not to worry. I can recommend a water based organic (I think) lubricant called YES. It works very well and can be purchased from high street chemists. I this helps.

[lala1233 in reply to Runningfever]

thank you x

[Cooper27]

You may suffer from something called vaginismus, where the vaginal muscles tense up involuntarily. You can get dilators to help train your muscles to relax, and you can also try physiotherapy (you'll need to find someone who specialises in vaginal and bowel physio, not a regular physio). In some cases, I believe Botox injections can help, but it's best to try the dilators first.

[lala1233 in reply to Cooper27]

thank you!

[dpooley-tolkien]

Another thing to look into/speak to doctors about is an anaesthetic cream for your outer skin, it will help with the relaxing. Especially if it is vaginismus

[Cooper27 in reply to dpooley-tolkien]

I'll just add to this: be aware that anaesthetic gels corrode latex, and so need to be used with latex free condoms. Even if the woman is on the pill, it's advisable to use a condom, because the anaesthetic starts to numb the partner if not.

[dpooley-tolkien in reply to Cooper27]

I was prescribed lidocaine 5% and it has been amazing in helping me and my husband regain a sex life.

[Cooper27 in reply to dpooley-tolkien]

You can buy it over the counter too, I think it's about £15 for a box of 12 syringes (OP, don't panic, it's not got a needle!) Or some places sell a syringe individually for £1.50 ish, if that works out cheaper than your prescription

[dpooley-tolkien in reply to Cooper27]

Oh thanks, all about the prepayment card! Otherwise that’s damn good to know!

[lala1233 in reply to dpooley-tolkien]

thank u xx

[lala1233 in reply to Cooper27]

okay, ive had the injection so i suppose it’s the same as the pill x

[dpooley-tolkien in reply to lala1233]

Maisie Hill is a great person to follow on Instagram, she’s all about the alternative medicines. Also dryangwellness on Instagram. They have amazing teas they sell!

[Cooper27 in reply to lala1233]

Yep, so you should still use a condom if you use the gel, not because of pregnancy risk, but because your partner will go numb and won't be able to finish...

[lala1233 in reply to dpooley-tolkien]

thank you x