Affection vs sex

[wanttofeelbetternow]

How do you establish a more affection/physical in a non sex way versus unwanted sex just to please partner. I guess I’ve always felt pressured to “put out” versus when I actually want to have sex. For me it’s about feeling wanted and desired by my partner for mutual pleasure versus a quick orgasm that I coulda done myself. How do establish this and make it clear from the beginning what you want. I’ve tried straight up honesty and they take it like I just want a fuck buddy like they can actually please me. Ha! when it’s actually completely opposite. Stupid men but I still love them. Any advice appreciated. At this point I’ve given up sex as it’s a waste of my time. Literally.