C-Section worries 💔

[BabyBluDuck]

Im a mother of 3 soon to be 4

My youngest was born Via emergancy C-section 5 years ago

It was in my eyes a very traumatic frightening experience which i still feel bad about

Now im pregnant with my 4th and after speaking with the consultant i was told

During my emerg section i had a large tear down from the insision in which a second surgen had to be brough in to repair (i was never told about this at the time or afterwards) I found this out a day ago,

My comsultant has said that the surgen had left a note on my file stating im able to Go for either a VBAC or a planned c-section in any following pregnancys

Although the consultant is disagreeing this and stating i should not attempt a vbac she is going to consult with the surgen and give me options in around 6weeks 😫

Im really worried about both options now as both come with risks rupture ect but a c-section is something that completely terrifies me both the surgery process and the recovery of not being fully able to care for my children afterwards

Has anyone been in a simular situation and have any advice or willing to share their experience, tips ect 💔