Sorry to be posting this, it's a weird post of whingeing, worry, misery, confusion and major self doubt.
I haven't been on the scales for 6 weeks and won't be getting on them again until my WI day on Wednesday but I'm feeling mega nervous about it. I have worked really hard on my general fitness and portion control for the duration of Lent and now that its over I'm worried that I'm going to lose all control. I still haven't told my family that I'm losing weight but they know I'm trying to improve my health due to the pandemic, when I mentioned to my brother that I'd gone on my first bike ride in over a year this morning he used the words "I'm proud of you". This has made me stress and feel unbelievable pressure. While I've enjoyed not getting on the scales and experienced NSVs I'm terrified of what they'll tell me on Wednesday. I feel like I'm now letting my brother down if I slip up.
On top of that while I'm generally happy with the progress I've made since last June I'm still so unhappy with what I see in the mirror. I'm about a third of the way through my journey and its incredibly unmotivating to see the huge rolls of fat still clinging to my body. I'm still morbidly obese, still too large to shop in normal clothes shops and still too heavy to do all the things I want to do, the self doubt that I'm gonna collapse back into the cycle of binge eating and no exercise is quite strong atm.
I hope it passes soon.
Thank you for reading this, Happy Easter
Xx
Hi, you don't sound as though you're whingeing, just very anxious.
Good for you on getting your bike out. Building up activity steadily can make you feel better about yourself and the longer, sunnier days should help. There's no need to tell your family or anyone that you're losing weight: just get on with what you're doing and chat on here.
You mention positives such as that you're a third of the way through your journey - after 9 months that sounds like a pretty big achievement and if you could get to a weight you're happy with in another 12 - 18 months, that would really be something to congratulate yourself on. I'm guessing you put weight on over a long period so making significant changes in 2-3 years doesn't sound long, in those terms. Don't expect too much too soon as that can be demoralising but 1/3 of the way is a very long way: don't underestimate it.
Another positive is your brother's supportive comment. You've been around the forum long enough to see many members who have no support, or "friends" and family being positively obstructive. Your brother is acknowledging your commitment and the steps you're taking, not the end outcome: take it for what it is, encouragement and recognition.
I wonder if you enjoy your new way of eating. Is it a way you'll be happy to eat for life? That's important if you are going to hang onto those gains. If you hate it and find it punishing, see what changes you can make, new foods, new recipes, so you have some pleasure in your food. You may need to shift from the "portion control" mindset to an eating well mindset.
It sounds like NSVs work better for you than what the scales tell you. Remind yourself of those when you hate what you see in the mirror. And if you don't want to step on the scales, no-one is making you: use your own measures of progress. You can join the Wobble Warriors, chat, support and encourage your team and give your update in NSVs if that's best for you. Lytham is hosting this Wednesday and she wouldn't want you to be dreading it. None of your team would.
How about giving the Daily Diary a go? It may give you new ideas for meals and enjoying your food. I think that's an important next step for you.
Take care
BG
We're right behind you hun whatever the outcome but I've got every faith in you!
x
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Thank you for your reply.I'd never thought of this as anxiety, but I now think I am. Not getting on the scales has helped a lot but I need to check in once in a while so I'm gonna only get on them once a fortnight from now on.
I'm definitely happy with my new way eating, I'm rarely hungry, love my food and I don't feel deprived, old habits being hard to break is the problem, like you say they took years to develop and its gonna take time to get out of that mindset for good.
The food diary doesn't work for me sadly because if I were it down in my notebook and then write it into the forum's food diary I start to get obsessive over everything I eat, logging it all down in my Disney notebook is working really well for me.
Thank you again. Head is a bit clearer now
That all sounds good. Keep tuning in to what's right for you
What you're saying there about old habits being hard to break is true for most people losing weight, from my experience I've built up bad habits around food and what I'm doing is forming and trying to form new healthier habits around food, I've found that making one change at a time works well, work on one healthy habit, it could be around food, routine, exercise, sleep and then get used to it. When u feel confident around one new habit work on the next, if it's too much too soon it gets overwhelming in my experience, its about pace and u dont need to compare yourself to anyone else's journey, ur journey is yours and that's ok
So true. Thank you 😊