Sorry to be posting this, it's a weird post of whingeing, worry, misery, confusion and major self doubt.
I haven't been on the scales for 6 weeks and won't be getting on them again until my WI day on Wednesday but I'm feeling mega nervous about it. I have worked really hard on my general fitness and portion control for the duration of Lent and now that its over I'm worried that I'm going to lose all control. I still haven't told my family that I'm losing weight but they know I'm trying to improve my health due to the pandemic, when I mentioned to my brother that I'd gone on my first bike ride in over a year this morning he used the words "I'm proud of you". This has made me stress and feel unbelievable pressure. While I've enjoyed not getting on the scales and experienced NSVs I'm terrified of what they'll tell me on Wednesday. I feel like I'm now letting my brother down if I slip up.
On top of that while I'm generally happy with the progress I've made since last June I'm still so unhappy with what I see in the mirror. I'm about a third of the way through my journey and its incredibly unmotivating to see the huge rolls of fat still clinging to my body. I'm still morbidly obese, still too large to shop in normal clothes shops and still too heavy to do all the things I want to do, the self doubt that I'm gonna collapse back into the cycle of binge eating and no exercise is quite strong atm.
I hope it passes soon.
Thank you for reading this, Happy Easter