After a lifetime of being fat, I have been working hard to lose weight for over a year now. I have been more successful and kept going longer than I ever have before. But like everyone I still slip now and again and have a bad week.
This week has been really bad. A perfect storm of:
• meeting a significant goal (celebrating losing weight by eating-ironic, I know);
• job overload (shoving food in as I work through lunch, cursing my employer);
• personal crisis times three, including a house guest who (intentionally?) keeps making the wrong things, using the worse cooking methods, “to help”.
Something I have been pondering for quite a while now, and want to ask others – do you think bingeing is a type of self-harming?
If you’re not familiar with it, the NHS says self-harming is “…when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body… It's usually a way of coping with or expressing overwhelming emotional distress.” Teenage girls are the largest group identified as self-harmers (cutting themselves), but all ages and genders have been known to self-harm.
I know as I am bingeing that I’m eating too much and/or the wrong things. But once I start it is nearly impossible to stop myself. The Mayo Clinic in the US says “…while self-injury may bring a momentary sense of calm and a release of tension, it's usually followed by guilt and shame and the return of painful emotions.” That is exactly how I feel during and after a binge.
I’m not sure if ‘defining’ a binge as self-harm is actually helpful for everyone, but having looked at various websites and suggested treatments, naming it may make stopping it more straightforward.
What do others think?
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Ziva09
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Hi Ziva09. So sorry you had such a difficult week. It is horrible when everything hits at the same time like that and stress does have a massive effect on weight loss/gain. I know that I previously lost 3 stone only to regain it all in a year due, I believe, to increased stress at work ( a promotion..supposed to be a good thing!😂) and greater emotional difficulties at home. I’m in a better place now for the most part and managing weight and stress more effectively.
I do think binge eating is a form of self harm.
I know that I am an emotional eater and focusing on just eating when I’m hungry as opposed to anxious, is a new thing for me and I’m learning how tied my weight issue is to my mental health.
I’ve noticed too that people I know who suffer from Anorexia also self harm, so over/under eating and self harm could well be one and the same thing.
Wishing you courage and strength on your journey. You have been incredibly successful so far, enjoy your success and keep on going. You’re amazing.🍀👍😁
I think you've answered your own question, Ziva, as you can recognise the description of self harming in your own behaviour. You can also recognise the specific factors this week that have triggered your behaviour, and that's why you can move forward.
You have made huge strides towards being a slimmer and healthier you. Always remember and acknowledge that. Congratulations on reaching that goal this week
I don't know where you're up to with your eating plan: are you still using meal replacements? Do you have a forward plan? It's worth reassessing with each goal reached. I hope you'll soon be on whole foods and enjoying it, while accepting there will be slips and that you can pick yourself up.
Keep working at it, keep joining in here. You're a great support to others on your weigh in, Daily Diary and other posts. This is one week out of a year. It won't blow you off track
I think you are being too hard on yourself. Look at the badge you are wearing and how far you have come. We all have blips especially when things are stressful. BUT you have recognised the problems and what has caused them. You can turn it around. Draw a line now and start afresh and make some changes if necessary. Well done on meeting your goal. We all need a celebration of good things especially in the current situation. Maybe you can have a word with your employer and explain how the pressure is affecting you and see if anything can be done. Perhaps they don't realise how you feel.
Can you get rid of the house guest? Failing that offer some suggestions of what you would like them to do if they want to help. BG has given you great advice. It was great to see you on the weigh in and we are all here to support you. You can do this and Next week is new week.:).
Hi Ziva09, I don’t have any definitive answers to your questions but I wanted to reply because I think you have raised some very valid points 😊. I can certainly relate to the guilt and shame not to mention discomfort after a binge etc. I think if naming it helps you see things more clearly then I’d say go ahead and do it...
Your triggers are very familiar to me and probably many others. I remember hearing someone say once that we shove the food down to stop the emotions coming back up and I think there is some truth in that.
I’ve been trying a few different things to help me including: cutting back on carbs/sweets and processed food so my hunger and cravings etc don’t get too much to handle, simply not having things I could binge on in the house (this is easy for me as I live by myself - not so easy for you with your house guest) and stress management (which is probably going to be the biggest help in the long run). It’s all a work in progress but so far it’s helping me. I hope you can find some tips and recommendations which suit your needs and circumstances and help you overcome this 😊
Food4fuel. I think you're right, by eating lots is a way to stop the painful emotions for that time being.. I'm aware of that too, i've done that before.
If Ziva can focus on trying to do more stress management, that is a good idea.
You have made such amazing lifestyle changes to lose so much - well done. Focus on how well you have done and tell us all how you did it ! You are amazing ! Tell yourself you are amazing ! The binges are a blip, a rebellion, an indication you are hungry, a learned response to the horrid stressful situations you have experienced this week. The occasional binge may give you a bellyache but you haven't harmed yourself. Be positive , don't be a perfectionist and most of all forgive yourself.
Hi Ziva. Happy that you wanted to go into more detail with this post.
For the passages you recalled from other places, i use Mayoclinic too.
Only you can answer that question for yourself really.
I think as you've looked into it, it does side me to think you are questioning it, as maybe that is the reason and the case.
You've done so amazingly well to get where you are. And agree we all have hick ups when we do binge eat alittle in order for the painful emotions to go away for that moment, in order for us to feel better..
Q1. Maybe you think it's a sign that it's too tough to loose anymore weight, because your gaining weight. And emotionally you've been in a not great place so you have turned to food again?
It is also very interesting about the psychology behind why we eat if we aren't really hungry, but it's a hard habit to break if it's emotional binging to make us feel better.
And then yes then the shame and guilt can come afterwards. I would feel anger as well towards myself, but that's just me.
Q. 1 I'm a person who has emotional triggers, from childhood trauma. I wonder if you think that you have emotional triggers too, and if so what they are? Stress and tension are big ones for me.
To me you sound like a real fighter, and interested in learning more about things which are happening to you. If so i am the same kind of person.
For me when i am triggered, it seems impossible at that moment to do anything constructive.
I don't know if you are like me with having trauma childhood, if not then this book might not be for you. But incase you did, this book might help you if you read it, it's called 'Complex PTSD, from Surviving to Thriving' - by Pete Walker.
If you'd like to find out more or chat i'm happy to chat with you if it will help you.
That sounds a tough time. Self harm in terms of cutting yourself is never a good thing. Eating is more complex & it can provide comfort and warmth to our new baby /caveman selves. When we are cold and wet and up a mountain physically, eating a lot of something hot and nourishing is quite right., The appetite stimulating hormone ghrehlin has a significant role in feelings of and need for comfort. It’s significantly physiological not just emotional. Wanting to eat and a lot when life is hard is because you are human not greedy. BUT we all still need to steer a wise course through, so we choose nourishing foods for the comfort, not unhelpful ones. I personally find eating a kit of spicy mince beef helps me in that department, also excellent coffee.
We do sabotage ourselves our own worse enemies I guess. I have coping mechanism instead of binging to celebrate I treat myself to a new top haircut nail polish something I look forward too. Distraction helps me too. A day out at the seaside or a stroll in the woods. It’s a change of mindset and you have very much recognised your triggers. Good luck we got this 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
Hi I wrote on hear a while back...why am I killing myself with bad junk food. I had a lot of support. Yes binging pisces Mayo Clinic says re emotions. The more indo it the more I despised myself and I know I'm under a lot of stress too. Its same as bulimia etc. Many reasons emotionally. Sometimes just people addicted to sugar. You seem under pressure from work. It must be hard and friend didnt help
Just try to realise when it starts and try to avoid crap. Mind you a piece of carrot isnt the same as a biscuit but binging will go. Just keep at it. Your ok
I've posted on-and-off in the diabetes group, where the overwhelming majority of members were Type 2 (diet-induced diabetes). When I suggest that their condition is reversible and all they need to do is stop eating the foods that made them diabetic, and eat a healthy diet instead, the most common reactions are apathy and anger. They don't want to be cured: they want to carry on being ill, except with less pain. Only one person apparently took my advice, popping up a year later to report that he'd successfully reversed his condition. To me, there does seem to be a component of self-harming behaviour here.
Since Type 2 and obesity are essentially the same thing (they're symptoms of the same underlying physiological dysfunction) I suspect some overweight people begin to identify with their condition ("I am a fat person and will always be a fat person") and become fearful of change, and unconsciously sabotage their own efforts.
On the other hand, I think most people in this situation don't even know why it happened. They have had a dysfunctional relationship with food since birth, and know no other way to eat except the harmful way. They are often convinced that they're "doing everything right", and therefore their obesity is a burden they have to live with. This leads to feelings of guilt and shame ("I'm a faulty person because I can't control my bingeing"), but because their eating habits are so ingrained, there's nothing they can do about that guilt and shame.
This is true also of people who follow high-carb, low-fat, calorie-controlled diets: the diet doesn't work, so people begin to blame themselves for their failure and are unable to make corrections. There is a solid body of literature suggesting that these diets reliably produce psychological disturbances. See here for a review:
Eating lots of carbs and zero fat also causes metabolic dysfunction: your body loses the ability to burn fat, which means it can't maintain blood sugar between meals. This, plus the nutritional deficiency associated with low-fat, drives periodic "binges". This isn't you going crazy: it's your body desperately seeking out something it needs to keep you alive.
In that context, you really can't think of bingeing as "self-harm", because it's completely mechanistic.
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Stop sabotaging! clean out the cupboard and fridge
Serial dieter
Support needed issue with my eating habits
Dieting drama queen 🙈👸😂 
5 stone to lose
