Back to reality: Positive stuff first... - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

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Back to reality

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone

Positive stuff first:

Well I'm back from my holiday, I had a lovely 5 days away and I'll freely admit that I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. It was my first holiday in 3 years so I am not going to feel bad about it, what I am going to do is admit the damage and get back on plan. I've regained 15lbs but that's ok, I enjoyed doing it and now I'm back home ready to tackle the well deserved gain. While I did indulge (and took pleasure in doing it) all week I've looked forward to coming home and getting back on the straight and narrow. So I've had my fun and now its back to normal.

On a downer note:

I saw my brother and sister in law for the first time in 8 months during which I have lost 5 stone. They didn't make any comment about my loss and this has made me really low. Despite a total loss of 6 stone (so far) I'm still so large people can't see a huge difference 😢

25 Replies
Brawny77 profile image
Brawny772021 April

I can relate. I have now lost 20lb and it’s not been noticed by anyone yet. We just gotta stay the course. Good luck getting back on track.

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone in reply to Brawny77

Thank you, yes just got to stay the course.

RG07 profile image
RG07Maintainer

Or it has been so long since they saw you they cannot remember clearly that you were bigger than you are now. Or they weren't sure and didn't want to say the wrong thing! I am glad you enjoyed your break though and relaxed around the food you ate

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone in reply to RG07

Thank you, I'm seeing them again in 4 months, hopefully then lol

RG07 profile image
RG07Maintainer in reply to IamwhatIam517

Maybe drop some heavy hints- any family photos of you all together pre- weight loss? If do take them with you and use as a talking point and see if they set anything🤣

Sometimes family aren't as supportive as we would want/ expect. It's not that they don't love us, it's just they see us a certain way and it's sometimes hard for them to acknowledge we're not "the fat one" anymore, that we've evolved and doing better. It can be hurtful when you just want them to be pleased for you and supportive etc, but at the end of the day this journey is for You, Your Health, Your Life.. so keep pushing and don't let anyOne or anyThing stop ya! (I know you won't!) 💐

SewMore profile image
SewMore16kg in reply to Lilac-Angel

Thanks- that’s a great point- we are not losing weight for other people to tell us that we have, but for our own health and well-being and NSVs.

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone in reply to Lilac-Angel

Thank you, sadly due to being so morbidly obese before I'm still very much the fat one, which is something I've been struggling with. Just got to keep going.

Lilac-Angel profile image
Lilac-Angel7lbs in reply to IamwhatIam517

I'm sorry if my words didn't come across very well. What I was trying to say was keep going! It's not nice if loved ones, don't acknowledge our efforts, but keep going anyway! It's your journey not theirs! 💛

Don't feel low IamwhatIam517, you have lost 6 stone what a massive achievement that is.People say or don't say things when we least expect it , I remember when a friend of mine commented on a photo and told me I'd put on weight that was worse than someone not saying anything at all . You know what to do and you have a plan . Good luck .

Gary

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone in reply to gman1961

That's not what you want friends to say to you, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for the support, I'll just get back on track and keep going.

Hello and welcome home again.

Please don’t let your brother and sister-in-law ruin your achievement. Their lack of comments could be for all kinds of reasons- from not knowing how to say well done in the right way without causing offense, through to jealousy of your success! I speak for my own family now (if that helps). We have tended to fit to roles in families- if you have always been (comfortingly to them) the largest; then you taking charge of your nourishment and being on track to changing your position, is a shock to rest of the family! It raises uncertainty and puts a mirror to how easy it has been to think “yes we’ve put on weight over the years, but so has....”.

You know how far you have come, your scales have shown this. Take a moment this morning to reflect, then focus on planning your next few meals, and let’s go! Onwards and downwards 😊

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone in reply to SewMore

Thank you, I'm gonna try and use it as motivation because I'm seeing them again in 4 months

Hi, Iamwhatiam. I'm so glad to hear you were able to relax and enjoy your holiday as you wanted to. Its not always the easiest thing to do but its so worthwhile. Isnt it funny how we can't wait to get home and back to our normal routines though 😁.

With regards to your family's lack of comments. I totally understand where you are coming from. My mum is exactly the same and i generally see her once a week. She has acknowledged my change in eating habits now but hasn't once commented on the weight loss. Hurtful but i'm not letting it have an affect on me. All but 3 school work colleagues havent mentioned it either. I think some are afraid to in case its due to illness, i think others are just so busy with their school stuff they just don't notice.

I think a lot of it has to do with the confidence of the other person. Do i say something, what if i'm wrong etc. So they keep quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing. Please don't let it get to you. They could well be at home kicking themselves for not saying anything.

Not weight related but i once had a situation where neither me nor my friend knew whether to say something to each other. We were going to the same agility competition and my friend invited me to stay in her caravan with her for the weekend. I accepted because we both thought it would be great fun. It wasn't lol. We got in each other's way, got on each other's nerves. Both treading on egg shells because we didn't want to upset the other while not saying anything about it. On the way home at the end of the weekend there was an uncomfortable silence in the car and eventually I blurted out that without wanting to cause offence or sounding ungrateful for the weekend, we cant do this again. She was so relieved i'd said it as she didn't want to hurt my feelings by saying it or never inviting me again. We still have a good laugh about it now.

Don't dwell on it 💖💖 xx

Lilac-Angel profile image
Lilac-Angel7lbs in reply to springersrule

Oh dear Springers! I'm sorry but the caravan story did make me chuckle! Sitcom worthy! 🤣 It's good that you both can laugh about it now!

springersrule profile image
springersruleHost in reply to Lilac-Angel

Oh it was definitely sitcom worthy lol. What i didnt mention as it wasnt relevant was that we had a storm the last night and were sited near a conker tree. It sounded like we were in a war zone when the conkers hit the roof 😂😂. Oh we howled with laughter in the car once it was out in the open 😁 xx

IamwhatIam517 profile image
IamwhatIam5176 stone in reply to springersrule

Thank you, I thoroughly enjoyed my week, glad to be back home now and taking some control back. I understand the caravan experience!!! Glad you and your friend can laugh about it now

Flo-jo profile image
Flo-jo2020 August in reply to IamwhatIam517

I am glad you enjoyed your week and are getting back on track. As for family I think they just love you for being you and your weight doesn’t bother them, they love you what ever size you are so they probably don’t feel they need to comment. I look at a no comments meaning people love you for you not for your size! Good luck and well done on loosing 6 stone.😊

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator

I don't know your family, IamwhatIam, but I do think there's still a British avoidance of saying anything "personal". I agree with springersrule , people get so tangled up about not saying the wrong thing that they fail to say the right thing. A lesson for us all, I think. I know I often over-think things and probably miss opportunities to be kind or encouraging

springersrule profile image
springersruleHost in reply to BridgeGirl

Me too BridgeGirl xx

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to springersrule

I'm having lunch on Monday with a friend (hooray!!) who is very overweight. We've rarely spoken about it but she told me a few weeks ago that she was following Michael Mosley's 800 cals plan. I nearly started chipping in but I managed to just wish her well. I haven't seen her since so I'm wondering if I'll see a difference and, whether I do or not, if I should make a comment. Over-thinking already :)

springersrule profile image
springersruleHost in reply to BridgeGirl

Oh thats a perfect example of over thinking. We get our knickers in a twist before we see them then anything we do say comes out all wrong. If your happy to receive a suggestion? How about holding a menu and saying something like "lets see what we can find that's good and healthy for us both" as an ice breaker on the subject xx

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to springersrule

That's a very good suggestion for another situation but I'm going to her's for lunch in the garden. I will mention it. I've so studiously avoided it in the time I've known her - a few years, now - but I've got to know her more in the past year and count her a real friend so I will take a risk

springersrule profile image
springersruleHost in reply to BridgeGirl

Lol that certainly wouldn't work then 😊. Yes definitely take the plunge and just chat. Good luck but it will be fine xx

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to springersrule

Thanks 😊

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