I felt great this morning, I'm 1lb off my 4 stone mark but while at work I looked at my reflection and was horrified at what little difference it has made on my figure. Sat here now wondering what the point is and wanting to eat the house out. I know I've got a long way to go and knew it wouldn't all be plain smiling, but today has really made that hit home.
I'm feeling miserable : I felt great... - Weight Loss Support
I'm feeling miserable
Gosh at nearly 4 stone there's certainly a difference!
When I lost 30 Kg (4+ stone) I couldn't see the difference until I started to change the way I dressed. Out of baggy trousers and into some that actually fitted my waist. My shoes were 2 sizes too big but I didn't notice until I bought a pair of "lady's"shoes for a function.
Please don't run yourself down you've changed your shape and HOW!
Hugs
Thank-you. New clothes are a reward I will get when I reach a certain milestone. I'm very much looking forward to that day
I'm sure that new clothes will make a huge difference. Don't wait too long,they're important .I still have my old coat! I can't believe that it would only just do up. Now it's like a tent. I use it to walk the dog.... It's a reminder.
Its not far away. I have had some of these clothes for years and used to demoralise myself by trying them on too early into a regime. Determined to hold out long enough so I can replace my working wardrobe
Great suggestion of new clothes you could have got them from a charity shop. I do that because I have gone from XXXL in some clothes down to M. Shirt neck size from 17 or 17.5 to 15.5. Size 42in trousers to 34in. I have size 15in neck shirts and size 32in trousers waiting for me in the wardrobe which gives me motivation to carry on. All of this in 11 months. Also the health benefits would be great. Good luck.
Thank you 😊 💓
Not sure if you've already changed some of your outfits to flatter your new size, maybe worth just buying one inexpensive outfit to tide you over to next size down. Plenty of sales online at the moment. Also, don't forget that you are seeing yourself every day so won't notice the change so much as someone who hasn't seen you for a while. On the other hand, I know what you mean a little bit - I was thrilled to reach my target weight, but now sometimes I look at myself and still see a "well rounded" person in a negative way, even though two years ago this image seemed like a pipe dream
Thank you. It's a hard thing to retrain our brains isn't it?
I find that rewarding myself with new clothes really helps, even if I’m still on the weight loss journey. I also reward myself with nice body lotion or a bath. I try to replace the food treats with other stuff.
Hi AndreaLe and welcome to this amazing forum. I suggest you spend some time clicking about to find your way around. It's easier if you have a lap-top as there are several threads. If you’re using another device I strongly suggest that you use the web page as opposed to the app at least until you know your way around.
Have a good read of the pinned post “Welcome Newbies” and follow every thread.
Here’s the link to the pinned posts, healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
Here’s the link for the “Tour” of the forum. If you haven’t already taken it.
I strongly suggest you read and contribute to the Daily Diary and participate in a Weekly Weigh in.
You will find there's loads of tips about better eating, from other members. Sharing your daily menu not only helps you stay committed, it can help other members too.
Good luck I hope to "see " you around.
🍀
Thank you 😊
I agree with Tabby. Do get rid of the old clothes. Maybe just keep one item as a reminder of your former self so you don't go back to there. If you have lost 4 stone you must be several sizes smaller. I have lost nearly 3 stone and am 2 sizes smaller. I have treated myself to new clothes in my new size and feel comfortable wearing smaller size. I have given the old larger size clothes to charity.
Go out and treat yourself to some new things in your new size. You will feel much better that you can fit into a smaller size and it will help you see your new self in the mirror. It is hard to see yourself as smaller in the mirror but new clothes will give you confidence.
Thank you. Sadly having started at nearly 25 stone nearly 4 stone off has made little difference to my clothes size. But those clothes sizes will start dropping soon 😃
There’s definitely a difference, even if you can’t see it in the mirror right now. Also, if you can’t see in the mirror it’s more likely to be that your body image isn’t aligned with your body rather than no actual difference. If we look too far ahead and hoping to see us slim in the mirror - that has a potential to backfire. I find it helps to look at the day and then at the week and to tell myself that I was happy with my choices and that things went according to plan. And if they didn’t - try to figure out why and make it better for the next day. The slimmer version in the mirror comes much quicker if we don’t force it - much like watched kettle never boils. You were up in the morning, down later on, now it’s time for the up again 😊 it’s always up and down, isn’t it?
Thank you very much. I know there is a difference because I took photos at the start. There is a decent difference in the photos but my eyes dont yet see it in reflections.
I haven’t believed my reflection has anything to do with me for a good few years now, but it it’s improving with every pound gone, and one day I hope to recognise myself again!
Big hug (no pun intended)
Thank you. I miss hugs
You've done such an amazing job and I'm sure the difference is very noticeable, but harder to see when you've lost weight gradually. I've only lost 1.5 stone (nearly) but find some days I notice and others I don't. Probably depends on mood, clothing, the mirror etc. Have you got any old photos to remind yourself? Im sure you look great!
Well done on your own loss. I did take photos, I know there is a difference from how I looked but I'm still unhappy with what I'm seeing, got to keep going
I'm sure you'll get there. To be honest, I know that I'm not going to suddenly love my reflection after losing weight because I've not been body confident at any age or weight. It can be tough to truly accept yourself and your looks, can take a concerted effort. Good luck
Thank you, you too
Perhaps your negative self talk today was just "part of the old you" that will take longer to shed.
For me despite changing from size 22 to size 12 I have days of " self harm by words" ..I now recognise the hour or day of self critisism will pass. I know you know this deep down or you couldnt have adhered to such a fab weight loss plan for so long.
I may be totally wrong in my opinion of you( sorry if i sound judgey!) but I know this bad day will pass for you.
I believe it takes a while for the brain to adjust to the newer slimmer person and the old sabotage words just lurk and linger for a while longer.
Good luck.
I believe in you.
Thank you very much. I'm a major self sabotager and my brain is playing nasty tricks on me atm to try to justify an uncontrolled binge.
Hi, there isnt really anything i can add to what has already been said but wanted to send you a hug and say slap your hand for the naughty thoughts, you have done brilliantly so far and will keep doing so because you wont let it defeat you 😍😍 xx
This made me smile. Thank you so much 💓
Aw, Iamwhatiam, I think we have all felt like that BUT 4 stone is amazing !!!! and although you can't see it, your body is feeling it ? I am sure you can feel that it is easier to do some things 4 stones lighter. I don't have scales so last lockdown I just measured my waist and it took a while to "get" that I was going down. I think maybe it was one of those days where you could easily think what's the point but, we all have a sabotage button that does that. Turn it around and see the progress, the things that have improved. For me it was that my tummy no longer touches the steering wheel in the car!
Remind yourself that you are on a journey that is both physical and psychological. Losing weight involves our whole being. Some days there will be bumps in the road. Today looks like one of them for you. Ignore that sabotage button and get back on your journey and remember, we've all had them and know how miserable it can make us feel. Be gentle with yourself and remind yourself you are 4 stones lighter.
Thank you very much for your kind reply 😀
I sympathise with how you feel and know what you are going through.
I'm usually happy with how I look but a couple of weeks ago I was in a pilates class and the room was full of mirrors. I'm usually hiding at the back somewhere but this particular day the class was kinda empty and I found myself set square in front of one of the mirrors.
Part way through the class my face started to morph and I started to think 'eww you're really ugly' and then my hair started to look really flat and my head a weird shape and I started to think 'eww you have a weird head'. All of a sudden my face started sinking inwards and turning grey. I looked awful and really didn't like what I could see at all!
Then I said to myself 'hang on a minute' 'this is not how you usually feel' 'what's going on!?'
You know, sometimes it's bad vibes from the people we're around or an evil glance or look from someone we might not of even noticed. But it goes in. We process it without realising sometimes.
If they were feeling down about themselves and feeling in their own head like they needed to put others down to make themselves feel better, it can effect us, even without anyone saying anything sometimes.
Remember how you felt earlier that morning, remember your old clothes that are too big. Remember how you really feel about you, regardless of what others may think!
💪 ♥
I understood yesterday word and feeling you've relayed. Thank you very much for your post
Four stone is fantastic and you have had to really work to achieve that celebrate, give yourself a big five !! Well done it’s hard to keep the momentum going sometimes. I think we all have ups and downs sending big hugs
Best wishes
Jeff x
Thank you so much 💓
Oh wow I feel the same this is the first time someone has said how I’m feeling. I’ve lost 5 stone 4lb I too have a long way to go but when I look in the mirror I see that very big lady still. I even spoke to my diabetic nurse about it. I have so much support on here but no one knows how I feel really.
Maybe it’s cause I’ve always been big I don’t no.xx
As someone who also still has a long way to go and has previously lost 8 stone ( and put it back on) i can relate to this. People would tell me i was looking great but when i looked at me i just saw a smaller fat me. I think for me its because the lumps and bumps are still there (just not full up) so i must still be fat. I know it will be the same again when i've lost all the weight again and not sure how to change that mindset. Big hugs to us all and hugh 5's for our achievements so far xx
Thank you for your reply, it’s just the same people say how amazing your doing but I don’t feel amazing , people say you must feel so much better but as I said I don’t see it. My husband is constantly telling me how well I’m doing he dose my cooking I believe cause I’ve been fat all my life maybe that’s why I don’t see it I don’t no but I’m often crying it’s something I don’t no how to help myself xx
I'm totally with you there. I dont really see it and definitely dont feel it most of the time. Sat here typing now i still feel like a fat lump, and when i had a sitting down mammogram yesterday the nurse had to tuck my midriff out of the way (embarrassing). I have noticed differences in how my clothes fit and how i now fit in a bath lol but that doesnt change my perception of me. I will ask my dietician about this when we speak next week. It would be good to know a way to get passed this xx
I totally agree with you I’ve gone into smaller clothes but when I look in the mirror it’s the fat woman I see looking back at me. I would like to here what your dietician says. I’m glad I’m not on my own with this xx
I can fully relate to your experience, I lost 5 stone years ago and put double back on. It's so difficult to change our mindsets when its taken years for this way of thinking to form.
Well done on your own incredible loss!! I promise you you're not on your own, its so hard to allow ourselves to feel good about the weight we have lost when there is still so much to go. This forum is an amazing place for support.
It is yes.
I'll feed back on whatever she says. She must have lots of people who go through this. Let's keep our chins up ladies 💖💖 xx
Yes definitely, I’m very determined to get my weight off xx
Let's do it!
Yes let's keep them up and our spirits high 😄
Hehe there's 3 of us so should we be saying "one for all, and all for one (the 3 musketeers) 😂😂😂 xx
Yes I’m one we will do it.xx
It’s a big weight when you add us three up x
Love this!
Me too when do you too get weigh I weigh in on Monday on here.x
Would it work if you and Hidden and springersrule took a photo of yourselves now, just for yourselves? That would give you a proper comparison on your downward journey.
You are all brilliant, and great contributors to the forum. When you still have a fair bit to lose, I don't doubt you can see a long journey ahead but, if there's anything to remind you of the long journey behind you, just grab it and recognise your progress, your success. Hidden , you posted great "then and now" pictures a while ago. People weren't just being kind when they said what a difference they could see, they truly could 'cos it was real, as it is for each of you
Thanks BridgeGirl, thats not a bad idea. I have a head and shoulders shot from before (i cut my hair shorter during lockdown and was surprised how well i'd cut it lol) and a more recent one but havent actually looked at them side by side. Doh!! When we have proper light tomorrow i'm gonna try and get a full pic of me. I do have some videos of me at around 150kg so will be interesting to see the difference. xx
So you could compare with your start point and you can look back on this as a staging point on the way down
I think it’s a great thing to do. I don’t no if springersrule or iamwhatiam517 have seen the picture I posted before I believe it was when I was at 4 stone loss.xx
I did see your pictures and there's a huge difference to see 😁. How do you put 2 pics side by side? I could feel brave enough to post mine over the weekend - solidarity sister 😉😉 xx
Yes I see that but looking in the mirror is totally different for me. It’s called PicCollage I downloaded it I’m no good with doing stuff like that but I managed it. When I first came on here I sent a message to myself how crazy’s that lol xx
Oh i know, i'm the same in that i can see the difference in a photo but look in a mirror and i'm still the old me. Maybe we have to look at the pics more to rewrite our brains? 😁 Will have a look at piccollage, pictures are my downfall in technology 😂 xx
My friend said today just take all you mirrors down lol 😂🤣🤣xx
You're both brave, I dare not post mine, mostly due to the state of my room and PJs because I snap them as soon as I wake up and due to this I take them without a bra on 😄😅🤣 they're not suitable for public viewing.
I have just tried to look for your pics with no luck sorry, I know for a fact I'd see a huge difference! We're our own words critics.
If you go to my page and look at all my posts I think it’s the one that’s got 4 stone loss or something like that.x
The post said weight loss so far is the heading x
Wow!! I remember seeing these now, what a massive difference!! You'd think these pictures were of 2 different people.
And I’m sure the picture yesterday can see a difference again but I’m not sure😊
So have you got a weigh in day can’t remember if you said you did or you haven’t yet
I'm a Wednesday WI
I will look out for you good look for Wednesday
And I for you and springersrule on Mondays 😃
Thank you. I always start worrying on Sunday and I say to my husband what if I haven’t lost any haha he always says you don’t need to worry you always do good. I think it’s cause I’m very focused and hope I’m always in this frame of mind.x
Your photos prove that your husband is right, trust what he's telling you 😄
Thank you😀
😃😃😃😃
😀😀😀
Yes but I believe it’s in my head that I need to get round the weight loss to see the difference in the mirror that I can’t see. How strange you saying that BridgeGirl about taking a photo my husband took one of me today cause I had get a new outfit.
I did do photos, but my mind hasn't caught up with reality yet 😅
It will
One day soon is the plan
This is just a staging post on your journey, where you can look back and look forward. There may well be others along the way where you forget how far you've come and you think, as you are now, "There's so far still to go", but you'll just do it, step by step
Hi, update from my chat with the dietician (from specialist adult weight serviced nhs). I spoke to a chap this time and he was lovely, really encouraging but warning of things that may come ie the dreaded plateau lol. I told him all about this forum, which he'd not come across before but loved it. Anyway, to business... I asked him about the mirror image dilemma and he said it is very common within people who have a lot of weight to lose mainly because we are so used to seeing a large person that this is what our brain continues to see. His suggestion/advise is to not look at ones full self in the mirror for a while and take extra notice of the non scales victories; looser clothing, new clothes, less being out of breath, easier to go up stairs, fitting in a bath literally (thats one of mine but he liked it lol), anything else that shows you what you have lost. Wait at least a month before looking in that mirror again but do it with a picture in your hand/stuck to the mirror of what you looked like at the start. This will all help to retrain the brain to see the new and real you. He did say it takes time so no despairing until you see it. 😊😊 xx
Stay focused,
The pig out urges are not uncommon.
My BMI is about 20 and my body weight between that of a welterweight and super welterweight however I also feel those urges and it is so tough to resist binge eating.
The best solution to stay on top of your weight loss schedule is to adopt a vegetarian diet and eat plenty of fruit.
Apples are a great price at the moment also great prices for Pineapple and Honeydew Mellons.
Avoid alcohol at all costs and if you can start with some light jogging, aiming for moderate distance at a steady pace.
I trust this helps.
Remember beat obesity which helps beating long Covid and that is the best way to help the NHS.
Walk the walk not just talk the talk and if you can run the run 😊.
Thank you very much, this helped a lot 😊
I am pleased it helps.
Support groups and support communities keep moral high during these times.
Just remember society has made a cult hero out of Marcus Rashford.
How often do you see him on the beer and fags or on the fried chicken, pizzas and kebabs.
Let's adopt healthy lifestyle choices and save money in the process.
With kind regards Tony.
Oh iamwhatiam, I’m really sorry after doing so well you hit a downer. I don’t usually’tune in’ except to Wednesday Wobblers but I saw it was you. You have done SO WELL please don’t be discouraged. Instead of being strict with everything food, clothes. Be kind you you. Perhaps if you can afford it buy one item of I need cheering up clothing or a book you’d like. Sending you virtual hugs xxxx
You're always so encouraging and kind, thank you for your support.
WOW!!! 4 stone!!! Well done!! From experience, you don't see the difference because you're used to being bigger and seeing that. Do NOT overeat, you deserve better. Buy yourself someone to reward yourself and to give you cheer - something to wear to show off your weight loss or an accessory.
Most of all, be kind to yourself. Take care xx
Hi Smooth_Bloom and welcome back to the Weight Loss Forum.
Thank you for your supportive reply please let us know if you need some support on your weight loss journey.
We find that participation is the key to success and suggest that you join in with the Daily Diary and a weekly Weigh In. You will find these 2 feeds in the pinned posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
Opps, sorry iamwhatiam517, I didn't mean to write "buy yourself someone"!!! How very rude!!! 🤣 But meant "buy yourself someTHING"!!!! 😂 Anyway, hope it give you a smile!!! 😊
This made me laugh!!! Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement 😊
Nearly 4 stone is incredible! Don't allow the scales to determine how you feel...Go and celebrate your achievement! Have you tried HIIT ?? (High Intensity Interval Training). It is incredible for fat burning and is short sessions of exercise...You work hard but the results are amazing and the release of endorphins mean you feel amazing after. Happy Friday!
Thank you. I will have a look for HIIT on YouTube, I tried it before and liked it 😄
Hello Hidden and welcome to the weight loss forum. Please have a good read of the Pinned Post “Welcome Newbies”. healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
This is a very large community with lots going on. May I suggest you use the webpage as opposed to the app at least until you know your way around. Take your time and follow every thread so that you know exactly what’s going on.
Here’s the link for a “Tour” of the forum ,if you haven’t already taken it.
If you are following the NHS plan please check your BMI on the NHS site and obtain the correct amount of calories for you.
healthunlocked.com/api/redi...
The Daily Diary and the Weekly Weigh ins are very good places to begin. You will find the DD and WI in the Pinned Posts under “Events”
I find the Daily Diary a very good place to share my plans and get inspiration from other members, too. Once the day’s food is written down I’m far more likely to stay on track.
The key to success is participation, we are all on the same journey.
If you can’t find something just shout, there’s usually someone around.
I hope to “see” you around, Good Luck.🍀😉
I really know just what you mean!
I have a long way to go too. And for that reason I don’t think too much about my end goal, and aim for closer milestones instead.
I don’t see much difference in the mirror either – but I’m sure you have noticed a difference in many other ways. I wish I’d kept a diary of all the changes I’ve noticed, my feet don’t ache as much, I’m quicker up the stairs, I don’t snore any more.
Each time you drop a size it’s a triumph. And if you focus on feeling better and being healthier – I bet you are having little wins every day. You said you felt great this morning – think back to when you were 4 stone heavier – have you got more energy now?
Whatever it is you are doing - it is working so well, don’t give up on it. We will get there, perhaps not right away but bit by bit. You have got so much to celebrate, hope the mood passes soon – onwards and downwards!
What a lovely post thank you so much. I can see non scale victories, I just need to wait for my mind to catch up with my achievement.
4 stone is a great achievement so don't put yourself down. It could be that your still in old baggy clothes so don't notice it as much plus we still see ourselves as we were. Have you taken your measurements? That will give you a boost. Don't give up you've come so far.
I have taken measurements and can see the difference in inches, my mind hasn't caught up yet it seems. New clothes will be happening soon, they are a minestone treat I have set for myself.
Yes best not to buy too many new clothes if got some way to go. Inch loss on tape visible but dont always see it in mirror
I have a back log of clothes, some still in tags, clothes I've kept hold of hoping to fit back into them someday 🙏
Well that's a good motivation.
{{{{hug}}}}
Thanks, I needed that x
Try looking at 4 stones worth of sugar or potatoes and wow ....I think you will get what I mean . Health wise you have done something terrific . I maintain now but lost 18kg . My knees aren't in pain and I breathe better . I walk with ease and I climb stairs without that awful look upwards . I am 60 and feel 20 years younger . This has set me up for a decent retirement where I can actually do things. Don't ever feel you haven't achieved . Just think what 4 stone now would make you feel like.
Awww well done. I'm glad you feel better after your own loss. Hoping my mind catches up with reality soon.
It’s tough isn’t it ! Watching people scoffing take outs and as soon as you walk in to a supermarket you see the xmas chocks stacked high !
Try and be positive . I get so many overweight people ,especially in there 50s , on my bus who can’t walk properly with all there weight on their knees . Live a good life and be healthy x
Its really tough. Thank you very much for your positive message 😊
Thank you very much 😊
Hi IamwhatIam517, I can only dream of being where you are right now four stone down, wow such an achievement. Nobody can comment on how someone feels and we all have our low periods. But right now give yourself a big pat on the back because we’re proud of what you’ve achieved, right up until the time when you’re equally proud again. keep up the great work x
Thank you. Have faith, it will happen
That is amazing 4st weight loss, you should be so proud of yourself
Thank you
I had to go buy dog food today. 2 sacks. 1 @ 15kg the other 12kg. Carrying them indoors (1 at a time!!) I realised that together they are only 1kg lighter than the weight i have lost do far. Firstly thats a big shock looking at those bags and thinking "what, all that!!" but secondly when i look in a mirror what i see isnt those 2 sacks smaller.
This phenomenon really has me thinking, bare with me...
The physio i see for my knee said that because i've had this injury for 3 months the brain knows that to move a certain way is going to create pain so it doesnt matter how hard you try you just cant do it. The physio exercises i have to do for my knee at the moment are really small movements to retrain the brain to allow those movements.
Could my brain be retrained to see the new me???
There used to be someone on here who measured weight loss in terms of bags of dog food. That's quite a loss when you think you were carrying those bags of dog food around all the time.
I'm sure the weight loss is helping your knee and then exercises will too. They will help retrain your brain. When your knee is better and you not in pain you will feel better about yourself and your brain will see those lost bags of dog food in the mirror.
Hmmmmmm if the body can be trained the brain is being trained because that controls the body, so the brain is absolutely trainable
True, I was having a dabble on Google and found a site about men's body image (couldn't find a women's one as specific) as they lose weight and tone up saying they also saw the old them in the mirror. The advise given was to close your eyes and actually feel the changes in your body with your hands. Not using your eyes makes the brain see you by feel and therefore eventually your eyes see it too. Interesting theory I thought xx
very familiar feeling! BUT don't let it stress you! I used got it when I had a big loss a few years ago. I was so happy with the scales and then crashed when I caught my reflection! Don't be discouraged!! I was avoiding reflections because of it! But stuck with it because the scales and my loose clothes told me it was working! Then one day I caught a reflection and had to do a double take!! Then followed me looking in every reflection in mirrors or shop windows that I got near, for a few weeks!!
It is sort of like doing a cross country walk, and not carrying on because you still have some way to go. If you stop, you end up at the start line again! You have come a long way!! you need to just continue until you can see the finish line is closer, but to do that , you have to keep going forwards. You will do it! XX
Thank you very much 😊