Struggling with weight and getting older every day

[MontyRuby]

I would love to lose about 20 pounds, it would make all the difference to me. Unfortunately I have no will power. I can count calories and be good for about 3 days but after that I start to cheat. It's very disappointing.

[Lytham 3 stone]

Welcome, sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment, it might help to join in with today's weigh in and post your food plans on the Daily Diary? Both can be found under "Events" good luck! x

[IndigoBlue61]

Hello and Welcome to the Weight Loss Forum, MontyRuby

You sound like you are doing exactly what I did for over 40 years of dieting, I’d be so motivated at the start, restrict calories really low, probably skip breakfast and eat things like apple and low fat yogurt, celery and ryvita. Day four I would completely lose the plot 😩 What changed for me this time was realising I could eat more, avoid hunger, and enjoy all my favourite foods. Most people gain weight slowly over months and years, yet we expect to lose it quickly. So my advice is not to restrict foods, or reduce calories too low. Check your personal target on the NHS BMI checker. Also read this post about why eating some foods hinders weight loss healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

If you haven’t already then please read the Pinned Posts here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... Please read it carefully so you can find all the information you need to find your way around.

As a peer to peer support group we rely on mutual encouragement, and beats joining in, reading posts and replying to others. Our group Weigh-in and the Daily Diary are probably the best places to start.

Best wishes in your weight loss journey

Indigo 😊

[Cat33 Restart Dec 2023]

I know how hard it is but don't be too downhearted

I had a reason to lose weight it was for my sons wedding do you have anything that you would love to lose weight for ?

I wrote down all the good things about losing weight and I cut out a photo of an outfit from a magazine that I would love to wear Do you have any photos of when you were slimmer ?

Once you just lose a few pounds it's amazing how that will spur you on do a little goal at a time

Don't cut out everything you enjoy out or you will crave it

There is so much support on here

I'm now over 2 stone lighter and I feel fantastic

Soon you will get past 3 days then 4 and you will start to feel so good

All the very best

[Pineapple27]

Hi there MontyRuby and welcome!

If you want this to work for the longer term, you need to think about it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. That lifestyle change will need to happen a bit at a time and will involve many things : changing your behaviour around food, portion control, identifying emotional eating triggers, increasing your activity levels, trying new foods, making healthy food swaps, etc.

Commitment to diet/lifestyle change and resistance to temptation doesn't just happen! It has to be worked at.

The only way I have succeeded this time is to change how I approach food and eating it. I have learned to resist temptation! BUT please believe that this has taken a LOT of hard work and practice.

It's about "normalising" or "modifying" behaviour around food... and I think that with enough "practice" it becomes more and more easy until you get to the point where a behaviour is modified to the point of it becoming the only way.

I am sure that even some people who are not over weight do sometimes over indulge - but the fact is they don't do it very often...

Those of us who are over weight have been used to "treating" ourselves, eating portions that are too large, eating the things that we know are calorific because we can!

It's been a combination of changing all of those aspects of how I behave around food that has meant I have been successful this time.

I have developed a respect for the food I eat. Not everyone has the ability to eat as well as we in the western world eat. We should not abuse the privilege.

I rarely eat "on the hoof" any more, I rarely eat between meals. I take time to sit at a table and present my meals nicely. I take a moment or two to really look at my plate of food before I pick up my knife and fork.

Almost daily I say to hubbie "Aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy such lovely food". I really mean that too, I am not saying it for anyones benefit but his and mine. We should never take for granted having easy access to delicious food stuffs and our ability and love of cooking!

If you log your food - keep track of how many calories some of those "treats" contain, after a while they kind of stay in your head (medium egg = 70 cals, slice of white bread 100 cals, meringue nest 57 cals, 30g (matchbox size) of cheddar, 122 cals)

I do have sweet treats, but I buy my own choice, so things like 2 finger Kitkat, single finger Twix, Club biscuit... these are all around 100 calories. I keep them in a tin and I can have one whenever I want to, but I limit it to no more than one a day and usually with my afternoon cup of tea. That's not to say I eat one on a daily basis (usually about 2-3 times a week). They are always logged into my diary.

If you don't keep a log of what you are eating and the calories foods contain, then it's a bit like trying to travel from one place to another without a map! You might get there eventually BUT it's likely to take you much longer than if you planned the route and used a map PLUS you might take a few wrong turnings and end up going back on yourself!

I have also learned not to plan each trip out of the house to include food. Once upon a time, I'd have included lunch with a trip into town, coffee and cake with a visit to the garden centre.

I now plan or even prepare a meal BEFORE I go out (usually a salad) so that I know exactly what I can eat as soon as I walk into the door... and don't turn to "what I fancy" (usually high calorie carbs that don't keep you full for very long...)

Make a list of the reasons WHY you want to lose weight. Keep it somewhere safe (stuck to the inside of a kitchen cupboard door?) and look at it from time to time, especially when you are raiding the kitchen for treats!

I always ask myself before eating something really calorific "Do I really want to eat this thing more than I want to lose weight this week?". It's called "mindful eating" - being aware of why you are considering eating - real hunger? Boredom? Temptation? Feeling fed up?

Have a glass of water, wait 5 minutes and consider whether you still want the food. Once it's been snaffled down, it's too late and you may end up feeling cross and angry with yourself....

....and that feeling (guilt, failure) lasts for a long time, much longer than the temporary enjoyment of whatever treat you ate....

Oh, and I always remind myself how good the feeling is of seeing a loss on the scales at my weekly weigh in! That wonderful feeling lasts for days! Don't forget how that feels - you need to remind yourself of that feeling next time temptation strikes!

I’m healthier and fitter now at the age of 57 than I was 20 years ago…..

I am writing this as someone who had struggled all of my life (since the age of 9) to lose weight. I have a significant disability that affects my mobility - use a wheelchair outside of the house. I am also very short (4ft 8”). It wasn't until the age of 49 when I started to log everything and kept track of the calories I was consuming that the truth hit me between the eyes. I was eating FAR TOO MUCH for a short sedentary person. I changed my whole approach to food and eating it that everything else clicked into place

Just wished I’d found what worked for me years ago.

[Missionwoman Restart Sept 2023 in reply to Pineapple27]

I, wholeheartedly, agree with what you have written though I have the advantage of being tall. I have changed my attitude to food but do have treats. This is for life. I started on the 5th August and have now lost 1st 4lbs. I have enjoyed celebrations such as birthdays and the festive period. I have never felt deprived but I find I do not want the carbs I used to crave. I am on the LC HF plan with IF. I have never had such great success before and I am doing it slowly. No quick fix fad diet. This site has been a tremendous support and I don't think I could have done it without the people who are so kind and motivating. Thank you all. I continue with my plan. I have another 2st to lose but it feels achievable now.

[S11m]

Hi, MontyRuby , welcome.

I try to get (or feel) younger every day.

If you "slim smart" weight loss is not so hard! It is not all about motivation and masochism.

Some of us here find that what works, without counting calories, is a combination of The Low Carbohydrate, High-Fat (LCHF) diet (see the forum here on Health Unlocked) and Not Snacking All Day AKA Intermittent Fasting (IF). See:

Newbies IF FAQ:

healthunlocked.com/fasting-...

The Fasting and Furious Forum, here on Health Unlocked:

healthunlocked.com/fasting-...

[Juragirl]

Successful dieting requires some kind of weird mental switch - for months/years you beat yourself for overeating and then one day you suddenly go for it - that’s what I’ve found..you have to want it enough (more than the next cream cake), and be able to set up a routine that works for you..I struggled with my weight when I got married on a remote island with no gym and a husband who likes carbs and peanut butter (who doesn’t), but have started roughly calorie counting again following Pinch of Nom recipes which we both like plus taking up the couch to 5k running programme - ending in a sponsored run for Cancer research in March 😱..just find a way that works for you and enjoy watching the pounds drop off! Good luck x

[Lilaclady24 Restart Sept 2023]

MontyRuby, see what Pineapple wrote below. No better advice could be given by anyone. I can’t add one word to that! Good luck!

[Lilaclady24 Restart Sept 2023]

I meant what Pineapple wrote above n not below.

[MontyRuby]

yes thank you it is a very thorough reply which I do apprecite from Pineapple and others who have kindly given me advice xx