Here we go again β˜ΉπŸ˜–πŸ˜’: Sigh......what... - Weight Loss Support

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Here we go again β˜ΉπŸ˜–πŸ˜’

Downandout123 profile image
β€’39 Replies

Sigh......what can I say?? With ALLLL the wonderful answers and support I have gotten from you lovely people, I have failed ONCE AGAIN. I THOUGHT I had it this time. I THOUGHT it clicked. I fell off the wagon regarding eating, and I don't want to get back on. πŸ˜₯ Just being honest here. Life has been more than stressful this past month. I am crying as Im writing this. I first lost a few pounds, then put them right back on. So now here I am looking for that "Magic Pill" again. Has anyone had any results from taking Keto diet pills?? I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE. 😭 I went to my Dr. about a month ago. She was willing to put me on a prescription diet pill called "Contrave". I opted not to because she said the side effects are nausea. No thanks!! πŸ˜–

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Downandout123
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39 Replies
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Misslovely profile image
Misslovely

Oh so sad to hear youre upset over this! We all have our ups and doens on this journey, its not an easy one for many of us here. We make mistakes, some of us (me) more than others but you have to think β€œright! Stop! Tomorrows another chance to get it right”

What is it that you feel youre failing at specifically? Is it portion sizes?

The food you choose to eat at meal times?

Comfort or boredom eating?

xxxx

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply toMisslovely

I don't really know. I think it's more comfort eating. I allow myself to go off, ( especially with sweets), to make me feel better because of the stress and depression. So do that every night and see what happens. πŸ˜₯ i CANNOT do this journey on my own. I have to lose 25 pounds to look decent. To many it doesn't sound like much, but that seems like a ton to me. And on my very short frame, those 25 pounds REALLY stand out. I was doing so well, and then "life" got in the way. But i realize tbat life is ALWAYS going to get in the way. There is always going to be SOME KIND of setback. ( in my life anyway). So to say life got in the way is nothing but a copout. All it shows is a lack of will power for me.

Misslovely profile image
Misslovelyβ€’ in reply toDownandout123

Are you aware when you reach for the sweets that its comfort you need?

Why not reach for your phone or pc and come on here to busy yourself - you could write a post yourslef as yoh have tonight or get busy interjecting in the daily diary post, the weigh in post of your day of choosing, or you could reapond to other members posts to help them with their query

Everyone here is very friendly and supportive and theres no judgement. Youre not alone xxx

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply toMisslovely

Thank you. The routine forever for me has been to unwind at the end of the day by watching TV. So I do everything i need to do, after working a full day, and then just relax. The sweets have ALWAYS gone hand in hand with the TV watching. I don't want carrot sticks, or celery. I want sweets. I just can't stop. Oh and that Special K diet turned into a disaster! I was eating one cup of Special K with 2% milk. Really? One cup? That went out the window very quickly. NO willpower. NONE. ZERO. HOPELESS. And I KEEP looking for that magic pill. If they worked, everyone would be thin!

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toDownandout123

Move away from dieting - they're not set up for long term success.

Try prepping your meals in advance. Keep bad food out of the house if that's a trigger. Learn to eat away from the TV without distraction and opt for one chocolate bar or sweet item that you buy in the morning (buying multi packs is dangerous if you feel you can't resist them at first). You have to challenge your patterns and get a new one, e.g. instead of sweets if you sit down in front of the TV, make yourself a peppermint tea or chew gum. It's honestly just changing habits which is a bit difficult at first. Or have your dinner, then your sweet and then brush your teeth. Take your time with the sweet. Give it it's full attention rather than eating while watching TV as you don't get to really taste and enjoy it.

If you want something sweet, then have it. But plan it ahead - e.g. dinner will be a huge chicken salad and then one snickers or whatever. You can't substitute everything for carrot sticks ;) but maybe try and cut a bit elsewhere. It shouldn't be forbidden food, but allow it, consciously and in moderation.

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMama

I fell off the wagon today too! It happens! Life stuff, as you say. But it doesn't have to be a total give up. And life stuff is always going to happen so you either got to figure out a better way of dealing or allow yourself the occasional slip up without beating yourself up about it and make one day a week or two.

I must say I watch way less tv than I used to because snacking, relaxing and TV really does go hand in hand. My "magic pill" has been exercise ... It keeps me busy and helps with the weight loss goals too! I've hurt my leg which is making exercise difficult which is part of the reason I fell off the wagon today. I had to really wrestle with my mind to rein in my desires and not blow my diet too far off course.

You do sound pretty depressed though. It's going to be hard to feel motivated when you feel so down. Sometimes you need to focus on the issues causing you stress before you can tackle weight loss. If you do feel ready to focus on losing weight and you need your sweets then try to incorporate them into your daily allowance. You will find it easier to stick to being good if you don't ban anything you really need or love.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply toCrimsonMama

I have just recently started seeing a therapist, not only for the weight issue, but other issues as well. I have a session on Wednesday night again. I plan to make the weight loss the main topic of conversation. I didnt last week because I REALLY THOUGHT i had it down this time. NOT. :-(

S11m profile image
S11m

Hi, Downandout123 .

Try setting yourself a time in the evening after which you do not eat... and gradually make it earlier and earlier.Ideally, you will end up eating in an eight-hour window or less.

See my post on the Fasting and Furious Forum:

health.unlocked.com/fasting...

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply toS11m

Thank you! I just looked at the forum, but I'm not exactly sure what I should or shouldn't be doing. So normally ( during the week), later on weekends, I eat breakfast at 10:00. So what is the latest time in the evening that I should be eating? And what to do if you are really, really hungry after that time? Someone had mentioned weeks ago the 5:2 diet, and initially it sounded like something I could do. But now-not so sure. I have ZERO willpower. 😣

S11m profile image
S11mβ€’ in reply toDownandout123

Breakfast at 10:00 is great.

Do not snack after supper, and, whatever time you eat super… gradually make it earlier.

After a few months I was not eating after 14:00, but most people use an eight hour window… so work towards supper by 18:00.

Good luck

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply toS11m

I was reading more about this concept online. So let's say I did eat all my meals in an 8 hour window. How much do you think a person could lose per week by doing this? Has anyone else tried this? If so, how many pounds did you lose? . I THINK i could.do the 8 hour window. Anything less sounds like too much.

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toDownandout123

One size does not fit everyone! I'm Spanish, we eat late at night. The 5:2 is just another diet. Overall calorie intake Vs output matter. If you eat only 500 cals on 2 days, but this starves you so much that the following day you eat 4000kcal then that won't help. You gotta find something that fits YOU. Not you fitting into a diet.

E.g. if you know you like a chocolate bar at night, plan it ahead. E.g. save those 200kcal at lunch by skipping the potatoes or rice.

S11m profile image
S11mβ€’ in reply totopgeargirl212

"Overall calorie intake Vs output matter"

True - but simple arithmetic does not work very well for weight loss- this is because restricting calories suppresses the metabolism - and NEAD (Not Eating All Day) (or IF) stimulates it. (...and helps overcome insulin plateaux.)

You can and should use a combination of techniques - LCHF, don't eat too much, exercise. There is not one pill or technique that will do it all for you.

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toS11m

Hey S11m, the general issue for the largest part of the population is still consists of two main things: average calorie intake is too high, average calorie output (through movement) is too low, as we as a population have become more and more sedentary. I'm not talking massive restrictions as that does definitely damage your perception of hunger, messes up your leptin levels etc. I'm talking about making some small adjustments. Maybe 100kcal average a day, over 6-12 months, will result in fatloss.

Nevertheless we cannot recommend fasting diets to the public as everyone is different. My partner for example never eats breakfast. He naturally stays in his 8-9h eating window completely naturally and effortlessly, whereas I wake up with a raging hunger. Fasting for me doesn't work as it feels like restrictive eating.

For me, everything in moderation works. Also, there is no evidence suggesting that 2000kcal over a 8h vs 15h Eating window shows any difference. However what does happen on some fasting lifestyles is that SOME people find it easier to stick to their recommended intake by cutting off at a certain time (because typically, most people will overeat in the evenings in front of the TV). That can be eliminated by saying no more food after 7pm for example.

But I'm a big advocate of trial and error until you find what works for you. If you're a shift worker, 8h window may help you. If you're an office worker like me, not eating in the morning causes tiredness and concentration issues. I think the general population (and that included me for a looong time) makes the mistake of searching for the magic pill, the one diet, the one superfood they have to do that'll grant them success. Not all calories are the same and are not absorbed in the same way, and again the mix matters. But at the end of the day you have to either eat less than you burn, or burn more than you eat. It is that painfully simple.

And usually, without going into extremes. Things like eating one or two fewer biscuits and walk instead of taking the bus makes a difference already on the long term. It's the small changes that we can make into a lifestyle. We need to look at our base diet, how we eat every day for the rest of our lives. Can I cut out carbs (pizza, bread etc) for the rest of my life? Absolutely not. Can I eat in a 8h window? Personally, absolutely not - other people, absolutely yes. Can I eat whatever I want but stick to mostly whole foods (80% of my meals), and limit less nutritious foods to maybe 1 item a day? Yes, that I can sustain. That's what everyone needs to find for themselves.

S11m profile image
S11mβ€’ in reply totopgeargirl212

Hi, again, topgeargirl212

Nevertheless we cannot recommend fasting diets to the public as everyone is different.

We rarely have much information about members here - so all advice is "generalised".

"fasting" is a misnomer... I call it "NEAD" for "Not Eating All Day" - and we can recommend that to anyone, "everything in moderation works."

Also, there is no evidence suggesting that 2000kcal over a 8h vs 15h Eating window shows any difference. If you do some reading you will find that this is not the case - there have not been many trials - but there have been one or two.

no more food after 7pm for example. yes.

But at the end of the day you have to either eat less than you burn, or burn more than you eat. It is that painfully simple. As I have said, simple arithmetic does not (seem to) work for many people - specifically the "strugglers" on this forum with insulin resistance.

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toS11m

I'm sorry but not eating all day sounds like fasting to me and to be honest it's a dangerous advice to be put on a forum like this as it can trigger disordered eating patterns, e.g. binge eating disorders.

If you want to try something like that, you should speak with a doctor. If you have an insulin issue you should first of all consider your eating plan with a certified and registered dietitian.

S11m profile image
S11mβ€’ in reply totopgeargirl212

You mentioned:

"no more food after 7pm"

This is "Not Eating All Day" and I would be happy to recommend it to anyone... that was not anorectic - or had some other contra-indication.

Your doctor or consultant gives you advice specific to you... but recently we have heard here, that an NHS dietician recommended 5:2 to a forum member.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123

Well here's the thing.-I only eat 2 meals a day, then snack at night. I eat lunch about 2:00, then snack at maybe 9:00 or earlier. I know-my whole plan is so weird. Then it changes on the weekends because on the weekends i only eat late breakfast and dinner. No lunch. Everyone looks at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them that!

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toDownandout123

Maybe you should try and fit in smaller snacks. Try it out and see how it fits. I have 3 meals plus 1 afternoon snack otherwise I'll be starving by the time I have my dinner (usually around 8.30pm). What's important is that you're never too hungry, that's what could be the pitfall in the evening

S11m profile image
S11mβ€’ in reply toDownandout123

You should eat a good lunch - including fat - so you will not be hungry and have to snack in the evening.

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toS11m

I agree 😎 try and keep the lunch balanced to give you energy for the afternoon, and also trying not to be starving, so maybe a yoghurt, glass of milk, small lentil salad or cottage cheese/on on rice cake at 3-4pm (protein keeps you fuller for longer).

I also recommend keeping a diary to check how hungry you are before a meal (1-10 scale) and adjust whatever your snack or meal is going to be.

TheAwfulToad profile image
TheAwfulToadVisitor

Poor you. It sounds to me as if eating isn't really the problem here, and that life in general is just getting you down. I hope you get somewhere with the therapist.

Still ... food habits tend to be less intractable than most of life's problems. The most important point to consider here is this: it's nothing to do with willpower. If you're running out of willpower, that just makes you a normal human being heading off down the wrong path, not "hopeless".

Can I make a suggestion? Go out to eat a proper meal at a good restaurant. Go with good company. Spend as much money on it as you can afford. Don't sit there obsessing over how many calories is in it. Just immerse yourself in the experience. Then, when you get home, consider this: did that enjoyable night out involve TV and a handful of sweets? Think about how you're going to work that enjoyment of mealtimes into your everyday life. One possibility might to to simply stick the TV in the attic, if that's the trigger for sweets. Instead of plonking yourself down on the couch, spend that TV time preparing a really nice meal for yourself.

You don't need to do everything all at once, but you do need to kick yourself out of your rut in some small way, and in particular you need to stop seeing food as your enemy. As you're well aware, it's what you're eating that's the problem, so create different routines around better meals and you're on the road to recovery.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123

Food, in general, no matter WHAT time of day, is my enjoyment. Sure there are other things that make me happy, but food just does it for me every time. Hopefully I can get help from this therapist.

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212β€’ in reply toDownandout123

Of course, food IS enjoyment, if you look how we're brought up, food is always comforting. As a kid you get a lollipop when you've been behaved, we're brought up so early with the food as a reward system. Every big event in our lives e.g. Christmas or family gatherings is accompanied with food. And there's nothing wrong with that, because they're exceptional!

But you really have to learn to keep food separate from stress relief or reward. And it sounds easy but it really isn't. I'd suggest

1) eat with the family whenever you can. Not in front of a TV. Even now during the week I've started to eat on the kitchen table and it's so weird but I feel so much more satisfied and full from my meal.

2) find other ways to deal with stress. Again a counselor could help perhaps with some cognitive behavioural therapy. Rewiring old thought processes and replacing them.

To give you an example. A few years ago I gave up smoking. For months I had urges to smoke, but I remember weirdly enough that there were 3-4 major triggers.

One was the bridge I walked over every morning - why? Because that's where I'd always light my first cigarette in the morning walking to work. Every morning. For years.

Another one was coffee - why? Because I drank a coffee almost always with a cigarette at my break.

So what helped me overcome this was 1) change my route to work. Go across the second bridge even though it took a bit longer. Eventually I started listening to podcasts instead.

2) switch to tea for the initial couple of weeks. That way I learnt to separate the taste of coffee with the smokeyness. Now when I drink coffee I don't crave a cigarette anymore but it takes the brain about 2-3 months to make such changes.

3) quite simply, don't have cigarettes around.

And that's exactly what you have to do with food. Next time you're stressed after a long day of work, write down in a diary three things that went well or that you're grateful for. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Call your friend. Look out for the key triggers. What is it that triggers your crave? What else can you do instead to distract yourself long enough until that urge passes?

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply totopgeargirl212

Just like for you it was cigarettes with coffee, and a cigarette when you went over that bridge, snacking goes hand in hand with watching TV. I can't seem to separate the 2. I will have to figure SOMETHING out. Right now all this advice is swirling around in my head. I know I have to do what works for me, but right now I don't know what that is. Also, I can't help but get the feeling that in some way i am sabotaging the diet. I don't know why. I won't even tell you what I did last night at 1:00 in the morning, and I wasn't even hungry! I NEVER do that!!

topgeargirl212 profile image
topgeargirl212

Downandout, first of all

You are NOT a failure. It is absolutely human and normal to "fall off the wagon". What do you think, that the rest of humanity won't stuff their faces at a birthday party or accidentally get a bit tipsy on a Saturday evening and ending up ordering a large Domino's with extra dips? ;)

You need to stop being so hard on yourself and just forgive it. So you went all out for a few days - meh, happens. This is an important learning moment for you - will you decide to be unworthy and use that as an excuse to scrap all your progress or will you just get up, say to yourself "sh%! Happens but you know what I can do this" and get back on track. This happened to me sooo many times. Whether it's through stress or Christmas, weightloss is never linear.

the true key to long term success. Consistency, consistency, consistency! Meaning when you go off your usual eating, you gotta get right back the next day. The next day after a binge day you will ironically crave even more junk food, as your blood sugars (which have been spiked from all that food the day before) will crash down. That first day or two will be hard, a bit like a hangover so make sure you eat a good, protein and fibre rich breakfast that day to get back.

Please stay away from diet pills, they are absolutely garbage and should be illegal in my opinion. They don't work, they promise effects that don't work.

A moderate calorific deficit over a period of 3-6 months will work. Those pills do absolutely nothing. Also, be wary of ketogenic diet as it has no proven benefits and carbs are vital for your body functions.

Your body is so complex and years of weight cannot be shredded overnight. It took me 3 years to get to my heaviest, and 1-2 years to reverse it.

Also, try and figure out why you over ate. If it's stress related, can you make a plan to make sure this won't happen again? As in when you feel the urge hit, having an alternative to do, e.g. go for a walk, meditate, take a bath, or make sure you have some healthy food in the house? The crave for a binge usually lasts maybe an hour. Write down your emotions before you eat and how strong they are.

You're not a failure. You're a beautiful human being who deserves to love herself. Absolutely nothing wrong with an occasional "woopsie" moment.

Just go back to your eating as it was before and you will be fine😘 just please be patient and don't be discouraged

Traingirl profile image
Traingirl

Morning. Can i suggest something. Why don't you change your name to something like tulip123 instead of down and out. There are things in life we just cant do anything about.... but there are things that we can change. I dont know whats getting you down, but i have had some awful times in life as well. We all do. Stress manifests itself in many ways, but we can do somethings to try to manage it better. Walking is quite good. Especially when its day light. Have a go, and you will feel a bit less guilty about having a few sweets. Xxx

Kirstiefield profile image
Kirstiefield

Sorry to hear that. I'm sort of going through the same thing atm I lose weight and the it come back I've not been on here for a while because of it. If we all stick together I'm sure will pull through

Lesley1234567 profile image
Lesley1234567

Lots of people giving you some good ideas and tips here. So here goes.

Don’t t think of it as a diet or losing 25 lbs

Think healthy lifestyle and body, the pounds will take care of themselves

You are in the habit of watching TV and munching, it’s something millions of people do, you are not doing any different. But you know you want to be different.

You dont need to buy β€˜keto pills’, you can do this yourself. By simply reducing carbs and eating more healthy fats.

Visit the lchf forum and see what you think.

I haven’t lost as much weight as I would like to but I feel much healthier.

It works though.

I no longer crave sugary foods or high carbohydrate foods.

It’s not expensive either.

But it does require some meal preparation, as you will be amazed how high the carbohydrates are in processed food. You won’t want to eat processed foods. Also the sugar content, where you wouldn’t expect to find sugar.

It hasn’t been a magic pill for me, but then I don’t think I have followed it correctly. But there are some who have had better weight loss.

25 lbs is a number and the BMI guide is just that a guide. It’s not easy not to be downhearted when you are struggling. But I think if you reduce your carbs and eat more healthy fats you will feel more satisfied and won’t want to eat sweets. Give it a go you can only lose weight.

Leanerforspeed profile image
Leanerforspeed

Have the sweets! Just portion them out in the morning before work so they are there ready! Give yourself permission to enjoy them BUT count the calories & never lie to your calorie counter app!! It sounds like denying yourself actually makes it triply hard for you so you fall off in a more dramatic way. Be prepared to take longer to lose weight at a really slow weight by having as high a calorie count as you can lose on - who cares if it’s half a pound a week it’s in the right direction & sustainable and will do more for maintaining a positive mental health than β€˜last ditch attempts’ - you can do it, you just need to find your way by being kinder to yourself x

If you go for a short term fix again you will be blaming yourself if you fall off the wagon for failing so how about giving yourself permission to stop with diets and learn to support yourself in a caring way??

I’ve just sat & eaten 2 of the oat & apricot cookies I make for my kids whilst typing BUT I logged both & I don’t feel guilt like I used to! Neither will I deny myself a lunch to β€˜make up’ for the less than desirable calorie splurge! Because that would just lead to feelings of I’m soo useless I might as well eat the muffins I made them too when I’m hungry because i would have missed a meal a missed meal πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

Redspot profile image
Redspot

The low carb high fat way of eating will certainly reduce any longing for sweets.

Have a try......

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123

Thanks to all of you. I'll figure it out.

gman1961 profile image
gman1961HostRestart April 2024

Sorry to hear how you are .

You are not alone and many of us think about giving up,my reason for carrying on is I'm sure I would be even worse than ever.

Great support on this forum.

Good luck.

Gary

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply togman1961

Thank you!

shopteddy profile image
shopteddy10 kg

Hi try not to give up. Losing weight and keeping it off is a real battle. I had put on 4 stone through 2 years of immobility and stress eating. About 9 weeks ago I decided to put my mind to weight loss. I saw the staff nurse at the GP practice and asked for diet pills. She has put me on orlistat120mg and I have now lost 1 stone 1lb so far. The pills definitely make a difference. They stop you absorbing so much fat from your food. However you have to keep to a fairly low fat diet so as not to get diarrhoea! A good incentive for a low fat diet. Apart from poo being a bit greasy they have suited me fine.

I was also referred to Slimming world first a 12 week course. I like their diet as you weigh very little food and there is so much free food you don't have to be hungry. I hope you have a better week. 😊😊

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123

Thank you! I actually tried the Orlistat ( Alli) when it became available over the counter years ago.. Let's just say that if I lived like a hermit and never saw a soul, I could put up with it. But the side effects were really just too much! πŸ˜–πŸ˜–

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123

Thank you very much! But it's not that magic pill I've been looking for. Lol

SMITHYC profile image
SMITHYC1 stone

One piece of advice I was given was buy a smaller dinner plate. Start with porridge seeds and nuts that will keep you going until lunch.

Take things one day at a time.

Set small acheivable goals like your first small weight loss.

If you want chocolate buy the funsize bars and freeze them. Take them out 1 at a time.

You can do this and you will.

Have this as your mantra.

Downandout123 profile image
Downandout123β€’ in reply toSMITHYC

Thank you so much! As for the chocolate bars-well, that wouldn't work for me. Just knowing that they are in there.........

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