how do i stop the merry go round.....

[lynd63]

Hi all,

feeling very low and a failure as yet again ive blown my diet. i always seem to have a cracking week where i measure ,log everything, walk everywhere and lose 3 pounds... then i lose all sense of direction and eat everything in sight... including most of Cooplands... this has been going on for months if not years and im am so fed up.. i know its easy to say well dont do it... but i just cant seem to stop once ive started. its like im on a perpetual merry go round and i cant get off... i keep going round in circles, always a great week then many bad ones before i start again... how can i find that straight path that i can follow and stick to for the rest of my life... i know i cant keep doing this.. but i still do... help...please.....

LynD63

[anigoni 2 stone]

awww lynd63 it is so frustrating when you get in this cycle.. I have been there many times and could end up there again.. I know just how you feel.

I was struggling a few weeks ago and mentally decided to try to focus on the next goal for me and looking ahead.. It takes a long time to lose weight properly and eat healthily to lose weight..

The most important thing is that you keep on keeping on - despite how you feel and although you fail you keep trying.. You will get results eventually.. and those good weeks are building up to a more healthier you - even if the scales dont show it.. Just change one thing in your diet to start.. or add one thing in... the next week.. change one more thing.. gently does it... and be gentle on yourself too... We are all here with you.. You can do this... as my sister used to say to me.. "put the false guilt and negative thoughts into the bin and start again..."

Good luck... I am sure you will find what works for you... Just keep on making those changes.. and be kind to yourself this week before you start doing anything else!!!

PS.. I havent found the straight path either.. I have been quite wandersome..

[IndigoBlue61]

I feel for you Lynd63, I really do, 😕. For myself, the biggest reason I lose the plot is hunger. If you are following the NHS 12 Week plan please be aware that the 1400 calorie target suggested is a generic amount, so please check your own personal calorie target here. nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyw... We always advise starting towards the top of the range, being hungry is the single biggest cause of weight loss failure.

Best wishes

Anna

[lucigret]

oh Lynd, I wish I could tell you you will find a straight path, but I'm afraid it's a bit like a curved country lane with some straight bits.

I completely understand you feeling low and a failure. I'm 56 this year and have been yo yo dieting since I was in my mid teens. The problem got worse and worse and I got bigger and bigger.

The first thing is to forget the word 'diet' for ever. Looking upon the changes you want to make as a healthy life style option instead. Ignore everything you ever heard about eat low calorie foods and avoiding cheese, butter, oil etc and introduce them back into your eating plan.

Get your self a notebook, write down some ideas of meals that you would like, calorie count them, change things around a bit so that you can see you are eating more healthily. Don't buy the things that you know you can't resist - keep those as treats. In my case if I say 'I shall never eat..... that again' all I do is crave what ever '......' that is. Some people can cut things out for ever. Do what works for you.

Take it a day at a time, if you have to spend a month or so just changing things about and trying something new, that's fine. It is not a race to loose weight. Try and change your mind set, instead of getting up in the morning and thinking, another day of loosing weight, think about how lovely the weather is, how good the garden looks, think about things you would like to do, take up a new hobby - anything to distract your thoughts around food.

Break your weight loss down into small amounts, maybe say I would like to loose 3lbs this month, I know it doesn't sound a lot but it adds up. When you loose 7lbs, treat yourself to a new nail varnish, top or something that means something to you.

Just keep going, you are never a failure all the time you are trying - keep coming on here, join in with the Daily Diary or some of the exercise threads if you haven't already - you will get so much support and that can help to keep you going around those bends in the road.

Good luck

[Pineapple27]

Hi lynd63 - I share this post from time to time (hope you've not already read it!).

I know not everything might be relevant to you....

If you want this to work for the longer term, you need to think about it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. That lifestyle change will need to happen a bit at a time and will involve many things : changing your behaviour around food, portion control, emotional eating triggers, increasing your activity levels, trying new foods, making healthy food swaps, etc.

Commitment to diet/lifestyle change and resistance to temptation doesn't just happen! It has to be worked at.

The only way I have succeeded this time is to change how I approach food and eating it. I have learned to resist temptation! BUT please believe that this has taken a LOT of hard work and practice!

It's about "normalising" or "modifying" behaviour around food... and I think that with enough "practice" it becomes more and more easy until you get to the point where a behaviour is modified to the point of it becoming the only way!

I am sure that even some people who are not over weight do sometimes over indulge - but the fact is they don't do it very often!

Those of us who are over weight have been used to "treating" ourselves, eating portions that are too large, eating the things that we know are calorific because we can!

It's been a combination of changing all of those aspects of how I behave around food that has meant I have been successful this time.

I have developed a respect for the food I eat. Not everyone has the ability to eat as well as we in the western world eat. We should not abuse the privilege!

I rarely eat "on the hoof" any more, I rarely eat between meals. I take time to sit at a table and present my meals nicely. I take a moment or two to really look at my plate of food before I pick up my knife and fork.

Almost daily I say to hubbie "Aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy such lovely food". I really mean that too, I am not saying it for anyones benefit but his and mine. We should never take for granted having easy access to delicious food stuffs and our ability and love of cooking!

If you log your food - keep track of how many calories some of those "treats" contain, after a while they kind of stay in your head (medium egg = 70 cals, slice of white bread 100 cals, meringue nest 57 cals, 30g (matchbox size) of cheddar, 122 cals)

I do have sweet treats, but I buy my own choice, so things like 2 finger Kitkat, single finger Twix, Club biscuit... these are all around 100 calories. I keep them in a tin and I can have one whenever I want to, but I limit it to no more than one a day and usually with my afternoon cup of tea. That's not to say I eat one on a daily basis (usually about 2-3 times a week). They are always logged into my diary.

If you don't keep a log of what you are eating and the calories foods contain, then it's a bit like trying to travel from one place to another without a map! You might get there eventually BUT it's likely to take you much longer than if you planned the route and used a map PLUS you might take a few wrong turnings and end up going back on yourself!

I have also learned not to plan each trip out of the house to include food. Once upon a time, I'd have included lunch with a trip into town, coffee and cake with a visit to the garden centre.

I now plan or even prepare a meal BEFORE I go out (usually a salad) so that I know exactly what I can eat as soon as I walk into the door... and don't turn to "what I fancy" (usually high calorie carbs that don't keep you full for very long...)

Make a list of the reasons WHY you want to lose weight. Keep it somewhere safe (stuck to the inside of a kitchen cupboard door?) and look at it from time to time, especially when you are raiding the kitchen for treats!

I always ask myself before eating something really calorific "Do I really want to eat this thing more than I want to lose weight this week?". It's called "mindful eating" - being aware of why you are considering eating - real hunger? Boredom? Temptation? Feeling fed up?

Have a glass of water, wait 5 minutes and consider whether you still want the food. Once it's been snaffled down, it's too late and you may end up feeling cross and angry with yourself....

....and that feeling (guilt, failure) lasts for a long time, much longer than the temporary enjoyment of whatever treat you ate....

Oh, and I always remind myself how good the feeling is of seeing a loss on the scales at my weekly weigh in! That wonderful feeling lasts for days! Don't forget how that feels - you need to remind yourself of that feeling next time temptation strikes!

[Hidden]

Paddy Cunningham who was runner up in one of the biggest loser series once gave me a few words of wisdom when I said I felt like a failure. Those words were "You are not a failure if you fall off of the wagon no matter how many times you do it. You are only a failure if you choose to stay lying on the roadside rather than picking yourself up dusting yourself off and climbing back aboard the wagon.

A constant trier can never be considered a failure unlike a total quitter

[lynd63]

thanks to you all... it is so silly though.. i know what i have to do its finding the mindset to be able to do it... i am 55 and menopausal..which doesnt help.. i have lost a lot of weight in the past.. ive gone from nearly 30 stone down to 10 and a half at one point, but three stone has snuck on and im desperate to lose that 3 stone again by October as im going on a mini cruise ... i do have a list of reasons why i want to lose weight and its stuck on my wall and in my diary... but just yesterday i was reading a slimming magazine while eating biscuits! um... not the way to do it... i use loads of apps to log food, but again i do it for a week to 10 days then stop again... its being consistent i find so difficult... also a new job is on the horizon so i want to look good in that too... *takes a deep breath*... ok... one day at a time....and repeat...... xxxxx