I want to lose the weight I gained, but it's hard to restart with all the negativity, especially with my family.

[atEase]

I've been counting my calories. My first day was a struggle, and to be honest, I give in to my sweet cravings. Yesterday, I did not eat any sweets at all and I was very happy. But today, my family is giving me a hard time. Every time I look at the calories, fats, and sugars of what I eat they keep giving me the look. Sometimes they make rude comments about my eating habits and it really bothers me. So I gave in, I grab the rice Krispies they just bought a while ago and ate it in front of them. I ate 6 of those today. I'm feeling down 'cause I don't feel any support at all, especially my own family.

Today, when we were at Walmart, I ask my mom and my sister not to buy too many snacks or dessert just to help me resist my sugar cravings and it kinda felt like they don't really care. I don't blame them at all, I guess I have to work on my willpower.

I think that they rather see me eat unhealthy foods with them than try to change these bad habits, or maybe they have not realized that we need to change yet - if this makes sense at all. And I don't see myself changing if this keeps going on. This is also one of the reasons why I gained my weight back. The comments do really make me feel down. Sometimes I eat whatever they eat, just to end the conversation. Now I feel much worse. I just can't keep pretending that everything is okay when I keep doing the same thing over and over again, and I know its wrong.

It may seem like I'm making excuses but I find it very hard to lose weight when there's too much negativity going on and it messes with my mind. Again, I don't blame my family or anyone for gaining my weight back. It's my responsibility and I'm not gonna quit. If you have any suggestions, please leave comments or tips and I'll really appreciate it.

[kiwikyd-nz]

You see this sort of thing so often on weight loss documentaries and such. If you succeed at losing weight it scares them because they don't have the strength to do it themselves. So the easy thing is for them to make sure you don't lose that weight, which basically comes down to a form of bullying.

Maybe take some small steps that they may not notice. Cut down the portion you eat by a small amount. Eat healthy when you are not with them. Offer to cook dinner one night and make it a healthier version (a little less fat and salt).

Be strong. You need to look after 'you' first and if they choose not to join you then it is their problem. When they start making comments leave the room and give yourself some space.

You can do this

[atEase in reply to kiwikyd-nz]

I totally agree with you. I cook 3x a week and I love making healthy meals for them. This morning I told them that I'll be cooking breakfast for them, but my mom said that she wanted some pancakes and coffee from McDonald's, I mean really?! I got upset with her and she seems to notice it, but otherwise, I made breakfast and she ate a small portion of it. When we got to Walmart, she grabs sweet snacks and other junk foods. I had a bit of conversation with her how keeping snacks at home make me want to eat them. She gave me the look and didn't even bother to argue. I must say I'm a little bit disappointed.

[kiwikyd-nz in reply to atEase]

I wonder if you 'not' reacting would make a difference. She knows she gets a reaction from you. Wonder what she would do if you made a comment like - "yeah those ones are nice, but have you tried the ......?" That would throw her off course lol

[atEase in reply to kiwikyd-nz]

Oh trust me, they get offensive every time I make comments on how much sugar or calories they consume or when I look at my fitnesspal. Just got home from work and there's a whole bunch of junk foods at the kitchen right now. I'm struggling not to go there and grab some chips. Is it so hard to give a little bit of consideration?

[Louby- in reply to kiwikyd-nz]

Agree with you kiwi

My journey, my body, own it! find it sad 😔 you do not get support from your family. Have you sat them down and explained all this too them?

If not do so, if they are still negative, they have a problem and please don't shoot me down, but seems like they are controlling you. Which is a difficult one. Not weight related but I have been in a situation, where family did not like the change I was making, (to stand up for myself and speak out, usually would just take it and say nothing) right old door mat I was. Told me I needed help as was mentally ill!! When actual fact they were controlling me. Their problem, not mine! Pleased. To say got there in the end, have good relationships with them now 😍

Wishing you luck and strength to deal with your issue

Have a good Sunday

xx

[atEase in reply to Louby-]

I was on a diet before and I actually hit my average weight, but soon enough all the negativity came out. Just like you, they told me I was mentally ill and if I lose more weight they're gonna send me to a doctor. I kinda feel bad 'cause sometimes when we go out, and they wanted to eat in a buffet or fast food, I occasionally say no, so I was hated for that.

Anyways, thank you! It was nice to know that there are people out there who have the same experience as me. I won't let them get into me.

I wish you luck and strength as well.

[Louby- in reply to atEase]

Courage, strength, love and a big hug for you.

You can do it!! Believe in yourself, love yourself, be kind to You

You have lost weight before and you can do it again, difficult I know having such negativity and lack of support around you. What's the saying " you can choose your friends, but not your family" I am fortunate to have both 😍

Wish you had that too!

Take good care my lovely, and try to rise above of their ignorance xc

[atEase in reply to Louby-]

I will! Thanks so much for the support! Really appreciate it!

[kiwikyd-nz in reply to Louby-]

Good on you Louby. (sorry but isn't louby the old beaded doll everyone used to have? ) Cute

[Louby- in reply to kiwikyd-nz]

Louby Loo and Andy Pandy loved it so much. It was given to me as a nickname as has stuck hahaha

Showing my age here 😁

[Tiggerr]

Hi atEase I really feel for you in your situation. A lot of us here have enough trouble eating healthily without the pressure you're getting from your family.

It's human nature unfortunately that if you don't fit in with the crowd (such as calorie counting, which I got from my own nearest and dearest) then people like to point out that you're 'different'. You have a goal and you need to be able to maintain your focus despite the 'noise' from those around you (yeah, I know, easier for me to say it).

I don't know what your food choices are but if rice Krispies is your only choice and you feel you are forced to go down that route then at least ensure that you only have enough to fit in with your calorie limit.

I really like the way you finish by saying 'it's my responsibility and I'm not gonna quit'... good for you.

I have a tip. It's non-specific but it works for pretty much most things large or small. Plan what you want to do, implement that plan, review how well the plan went. If anything didn't go to plan, then amend how you might do things differently the next time and implement. It's a circle and there's no end to how many times you might have to review, amend and implement.

Good luck!

[atEase in reply to Tiggerr]

Thank you Tiggerr! Well noted! After eating 1 bar of Rice Krispies, I don't know what happened but eating that sweet snack triggered me. I don't wanna go through that 'emotional eating' 'cause I know that it'll only make it worse so I stopped.

I will definitely find a way to keep going and staying optimistic. I do want to be a good model for them as well, that losing weight is achievable and I definitely don't want to go backward again.

[gman1961 Restart April 2024]

Good luck at ease ,do it for yourself and not for others .

That's how I think now ,it's for me and that's all that matters.

Gary

[atEase in reply to gman1961]

Thank you, Gary!

[RG07 Maintainer]

If they suggested they would send you to a Dr then why not call their bluff and go to a Dr for help on weight loss? You are technically doing what they suggested even if the reaction is not what they wanted! Its difficult when you have no control over the shopping- my weakness are crisps (chips I think they are called in USA) and the only way I can manage these is not to have them in my house- otherwise they are fair game! Not sure how the medical care works in America (you mentioned Walmart which I think is an American company so I am assuming you are an American- apologies if I am wrong) but will your local Dr give advice on weight loss?

[atEase in reply to RG07]

I live in Canada, and yes, the Dr's. do give advice.

Sad to say but all the junk foods are staying in the house. I tried to hide them, and even throw some of it, but nope, it's no use.

[blacksunflower]

Hi I can completely understand where you are coming from, I am 'having another go' again as I need to lose quite a bit of weight. I. don't seem to get much support from my other half who, despite asking him not to offer me the junk food he feels he has to have, still does. I know its up to me to just say no, but seeing it in front of you doesn't help your willpower. Having said that I am trying again because its my choice, its my body and I need to look after it. I know I will recieve the support I need from all the friendly people in this group. You will too, so don't get despondant you can do it. Good luck!

[atEase in reply to blacksunflower]

I am getting more motivated every time I see comments like this, so thank you for the support, I really appreciate it.

[Vickiejane]

You have to do it for your self not others. The longer you give up on sugar you stop craving it.but it can sneak up on you. I don't crave sweets I've been off of it over a year and half. I find people who give it up think it's to sweet now. But you have to do it for your self. Where are you going to be in a year? It's one pound at a time. It takes work not will power. Are you really ready if you are nothing or no one can stop you. Journal you foods so you know where you went wrong so you can make better choices and ways. Write with your journal what's going on and what you can do about it how you feel on stuff. Remember it's your circus not others. They way they think is there problem. They may want you to fail, you can change there minds by your action. You can say no to things it's okay. If there are things you know are not good you don't have to eat it and you can say no. I hope god gives you blessings. Listen to what your body is telling you what you really need not what you want. You can't go wrong with it. MyFitnessPal pal helps me a lot it's free. I'm 160 pounds lighter now 1 1/2 now I did slipped up but I get back on track you can do it for your self.

[atEase in reply to Vickiejane]

Well-noted. Thank you Vickiejane.

What do you do when your sugar craving starts to kick in?

[Vickiejane]

I ate pickles,which is low on calories but high on sodium so watch how many. But you won't want sweets after them. There like 5 calories for a big one. I ate a lot of them in the start. I bet I ate 2 giant jars a week, plus I eat fresh fruit when it's a good price on them. I can't eat dairy so no smoothie for me but you can also freeze bananas mash the freeze them like eating ice cream but of course one a day on them.

[13Valerie]

Is your family jealous that you're taking charge of your eating ?

Have you checked with a doctor to see how much weight you need to lose?

Maybe you could have a chat with a teacher about your concerns?

You're in a difficult situation and I wish you the best😂

[atEase in reply to 13Valerie]

I haven't talked to any doctor or nutritionist, but I am planning to. I do really want to talk to someone who can help me with my weight. Just to push me on the right track.

I do think that they get jealous sometimes, especially my siblings 'cause right now they're not really in good shape - they're not obese but overweight- and I know that jealousy is an ugly trait.

Right now, I'm a little scared to talk to my mom. Last time I talk to my sister she said that I needed to see a doctor. And yeah, that's a letdown. I'm overweight myself and I don't want to stay overweight for life. I haven't weighed myself yet, kinda scared to look on the scale. Losing weight is still a struggle but I'm not gonna put too much thought into it because it's starting to mess with my mind.

[13Valerie in reply to atEase]

My heart goes out to you. Can I ask how old you are? Is there any chance at all of support from outside the family? I hate that you're so alone in all this

[atEase in reply to 13Valerie]

I'm 20 and I don't have a lot of friends, and that's okay. We moved here in Canada when I was 17. So far, I haven't really made any good progress but I'm gonna work on it. It's a struggle but gotta keep going on.

[13Valerie in reply to atEase]

You know that we are all people in the same boat... not health professionals. .. but here's the advice I'd give you..

My daughter is your age. You are still growing and your shape will settle and change.. Please check your BMI and see if you are indeed overweight and by how much. Then work out how much you need to lose to be in a healthy BMI range. Aim for healthy eating to nourish your body. Ignore the rubbish that's around the house. You can safely lose a pound or two a week by healthy eating and exercise. Are there any clubs that you would be interested in locally? Meeting other health orientated people would be a support .... like maybe a hill walking club or a cycling club. Or maybe you would give a hand as a mentor or coach in a kids sports club?

The world needs more caring sensitive young people like you.

Time to let your light shine...

[atEase in reply to 13Valerie]

Well noted. Thank you, I truly appreciate your help. I'll try to look up for any clubs or activities.

[13Valerie in reply to atEase]

That's great and keep in touch with us here on the forum. .. I'd love to celebrate your success😀

[atEase in reply to 13Valerie]

For sure. Thanks for the support.