PCOS and miscarriage

[Cystsister87]

*trigger alert - this post contains discussion of miscarriage - just a heads up* Hi everyone. I’ve never done anything like this before but here it goes. I’ve was diagnosed with PCOS back in 2011, been through the ringer with the typical : acne, hair growth (in the wrong places), hair loss (also in the wrong places), No periods, then hellish long periods, the works! I was put on metformin (for insulin resistance) and things were, well, a bit better. And then, I turned 31, and me and my husband started trying. And everything has been kind of awful since then. We struggled to conceive but I wasn’t too worried (and naive) until March 2021 when unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks, in a lockdown and it has completely turned my life, body and mind upside down. In terms of my mental health, my confidence has plummeted which totally caught me off guard. In short, I feel like a failure and completely in conflict with my body. My husband, mum and dad have all been amazing, all loving and supportive as always. But, the treatment I have received has been appalling from start to finish (very similar, but worse, unfortunately to the treatment I have received for PCOS : dismissive, emotionless and cold). I had to go in for the scan (where I found out I was having the miscarriage) alone (due to COVID) and the radiographer coldly delivered the news and joked with another nurse behind the curtain as I got changed. I had to do misoprostol, twice, at home (despite my pregnancy being right on the edge of the size for that to be safe) then I got an infection. Each appointment was alone, sat next to glowing, very pregnant women and then a matter of weeks after it happened, my gyno and her nurse wouldn’t stop talking about her (the nurses) new baby grandson and her “amazing” daughters birth - constantly - during a scan. Not to mention the fact that the gyno didn’t bother to read her notes before I came in for my appointment and said “So, first of all, congratulations on your pregnancy!”. I literally didn’t have the strength to cry anymore, I just politely corrected her. Sorry, rant over. What I am here for I guess is, company (that sounds sad) but support in helping to recover mentally after this horrible time. I am considering talk therapy, and I am going to try paddle boarding (random!) next week to try and regain some sense of control and balance with my body again (try and make friends with it). We are also looking in to both of our fertility. But any help, similar experiences or advice would be much appreciated. Apologies to anyone who found this post triggering. ❤️

[LisaEB]

I've had 6 miscarriages at different stages, I'm currently 37 and pregnant at nearly 23 weeks and all is going well so far. My first miscarriage was at 10-11 weeks, I bleed so much.. I was crying with the pain..I never thought at that stage it would be so bad. I needed a D and C in the end, as there was remaining tissue. I've had 3 or 4 earlier ones saying 6-7weeks but after the first experience, it was scary all that could happen again.

I also had a late miscarriage, where I lost my waters at 16 weeks and was given 1-5% chance of survival, which we lost last year at 21 weeks, potentially due to covid, potentially due to BV. They couldn't give us an answer. Basically I gave birth to a stillborn baby, and it's one of the most traumatic experiences I think you can go through. I cried for about 3 months straight. Until it gets to a point you can't cry no more.

At the end of the day you can't control your body, not one of these experiences was a nice experience. All you can do is try and do the best for your health and wellbeing. Having one miscarriage, does not mean you will have another, like I have. There's no point wasting too much of your time feeling sorry for yourself.

The day I went one to loose my water I felt something wasn't right, my midwife was complaining about how her teenager children were annoying and something along the lines of could do without them, which I thought was a bit insensitive as I was sat there pregnant.

All the laughing and comments made by health professionals, you either can complain to the hospital about or just think they were insensitive comments and move on. Unfortunately people don't necessarily know your circumstances and having a chat about a grandson, is a conversation that can happen everywhere. I've been asked about having children several times after all my experiences, as people didn't know...even by my mum and friends who have known I've had miscarriages, have asked. It's hard, but you need to rise above it and not get so down from other people's insensitive comments.

There are specialists counsellers on miscarriage, if you want to talk it through with someone.

If you want a baby, my advice would be just keep trying, once your body has recovered. After my first one was a similar experience to you, I put off trying for a while as I was scared, but it just makes you older, with less time. I didn't start until I was 34, so you are a few more years younger than I was.

Good luck with it all.

[Eileen200800]

I’ve just had my first miscarriage at 6 weeks. I don’t ovulate on my own so we had fertility treatment after 18 months of infertility… anyway first time I ever ovulated it worked but then 6 weeks down the line the clinic did a viability scan and we arrived to no baby. I started to bleed a few days later. This was only a couple of weeks ago so I’m still getting over the ordeal. We also had some awful bedside manners (after the scan they put me in the waiting room when I was still crying).

I’m so sorry you couldn’t have your partner there with you during the scan that must have been very traumatic amongst everything else. I have found a miscarriage at 6 weeks awful to go through with lots of pain so am so sorry you have experienced one at 12 weeks.

I love your idea of starting paddle boarding I think that would be very therapeautic.

I haven’t been able to exercise like I normally do because I had bad ovarian hyperstimulation side effects from the fertility treatment so they advised me not to which I don’t think is helping with my mood.

I guess all I really wanted to say is that you are not alone and I hope you start to feel some closure and balance/control for your body again soon. I’m planning to start slowly exercising again this week and hope that I will feel this too 😊

[lillyofthevalley37]

Sorry for you awful experiences I went though something similar a long time ago though not due to pcos , I have answered your post just to suggest you look into the benefits of natural progesterone cream and inositol

[VEA88]

I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I haven't been through the same thing, but I just wanted to say how sorry I was. I also wanted to mention to everyone who has had a bad experience like this with the hospital, that you can complain or just feed back via the PALS service at the hospital you went to. Its completely up to you if you feel you want to do this, or can do this emotionally, but it could lead to a change in practice for the future. Sometimes that can make you feel a bit better.

Love the paddle boarding idea. Keep reaching out for help and support xx

[sazzybee123]

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. I have had 5 miscarriages at different stages all (I believe) due to PCOS.

In my experience I have found that Dr's don't take the condition seriously and some don't even know about it at all! I constantly asked if my PCOS put me at higher risk of miscarriage but the idea was brushed off at every turn.

My advice would be to do as much research as possible and try to treat your PCOS yourself the best you can. I noticed someone else mentioned Insistol, I tried this and it was fantastic for helping regulate periods also did a lot of research into supplements and exercise and got my BMI down as low as I could.

I had a successful pregnancy last year and my little girl is now nearly 1. I know sometimes success stories aren't helpful but I think it's good to know that people with PCOS can and do have their babies it's just a longer road for us.

If you can afford to get both your fertility accessed by a private clinic just to put your minds at rest there is nothing else going on. We did this and it cost about £500 the consultant was very helpful unlike the NHS sadly.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Your stronger than you know.

Peace ✌