Dear colleague, please don't show me your baby photos, it hurts too much 😣

[FakeHappy]

Hi ladies. Wanted to ask some advice about how you deal with people showing you photos of their baby /grandchildren when you're struggling to conceive?

Today a lovely man at work was showing me photos of his latest grandchild, completely unsolicited, and gave me a knowing look as if to say 'it'll be your turn soon' - I said something like 'if I ever get there' as he knows we had a miscarriage last year and he just said 'you will'.

People don't seem to consider that it can be more complicated than that or that maybe I'm not childless by choice! I have been open at work about fertility treatment but it's so tiring trying to explain every time why it isn't that simple and it makes me feel sad though I know he means well.

As much as I try to avoid babies they're everywhere. Any tips gratefully received! Xx

[jojokarak]

Just ask yourself are you going to be that thoughtful about others feelings if you had a bundle of joy in your arms or would you be walking around on cloud nine not giving a second thought ... Any baby being born is a blessing just celebrate that ...

They say the things we want the most usually arrive when we're not expecting them ... Or why not give a child a happy home through adoption .. just a thought I know plenty of people who stopped trying so hard and got there miracle

[FakeHappy in reply to jojokarak]

Actually I'd like to think I'd be a bit more sensitive as he is aware of the miscarriage, and I know when I get pregnant or have a baby I won't rub it in people's faces due to the heartbreak I've had. I know people say it might just happen but my pcos means I don't ovulate - my progesterone is incredibly low - so I will need medical help which makes me sad.

[Kellygreen in reply to FakeHappy]

Did you ever look into a treatment called ovary drilling? Someone told me on here that it helped them conceive. Don’t give up hope. I had a friend that thought she couldn’t get pregnant and she stopped stressing and she now has 2 children. Prayers to you.

[FakeHappy in reply to Kellygreen]

Yes I would like to try that if clomid doesn't work. Don't know what the criteria is to have it on the nhs? X

[Hols969]

It is always weird when you do something or want to do something like give up smoking or losing weight their is always people smoking or adverts on food, same with pregnancy and babies I think, they seemed to be everywhere when I was TTC.

It took 3 years for me to conceive Noah and it was a really long depressing process, it does get a bit irritating as a few said aren't you there yet which is bl**dy rude really especially as they knew we had been trying but you will get there in the end, it is extremely rare to not conceive due to pcos, there is not an increased risk of miscarriage due to PCOS, they thought there was but further research has shown there isnt. I presume your partner has been tested by now?

[FakeHappy in reply to Hols969]

Thanks for your reply, yes all tests came back fine for both of us which is good. There's a four month wait between our initial appointment and our next one to get clomid, half way through now! Been taking metformin since January and have lost weight despite being a healthy bmi but hasn't helped so far, I'm just not ovulating x

[Hols969 in reply to FakeHappy]

Are you checking your temperature to see if you ovulate- we tend to ovulate later than the norm - we can be hit and miss with ovulation- i had reflexology between my two iui tries and ovulated to the day and the hour which had never happened before so I am pretty sure the reflexology helped me conceive

[FakeHappy in reply to Hols969]

I did it for about 6 weeks but it just went up and down constantly - no clear rise - and I gave up because it was a bit of a pain! The drs have told me my progesterone is lower than it would normally be at any point during my cycle, so v v unlikely I'll ovulate. X

[FakeHappy in reply to Hols969]

Ps reflexology sounds good! Did debate it but struggled to find anyone with a special interest in Fertility so was worried about wasting my money. Same with acupuncture x

[Hols969 in reply to FakeHappy]

The lady that did me was a trainee so wasn't specifically trained for fertility but they all know where those points are.

I presume you will be on progesterone to help (as I presume this is what caused the miscarriage ? Lots of ladies have got pregnant and maintained it with low progesterone, they took something (sorry cant remember what) which helped massively.

I agree temp tracking is a faff (wasnt suggested when I was TTC but I know lots of ladies find it a bit of a chore) but it does take time to master it I think, would be worth doing in for a month before reflexology to see if there is a difference - I had reflexology once a week between my two IUI tries.

[lizimc in reply to FakeHappy]

Have you looked at the inofolic? It’s not cheap but I read lots about it. I had a normal BMI, but lost 5% as advised, had the tubal patency rest, and took the inofolic, no idea which bit worked but I’m 11 weeks now so all worth a try xxx

[FakeHappy in reply to lizimc]

Yes I take myo-ova which is basically the same, as well as tonnes of other vitamins that are meant to help! Also lost similar amount of weight and had the hsg although they said the tubes were wide open anyway. Fingers crossed x

[lizimc in reply to FakeHappy]

Everything crossed for you xxx