Depression and I ......and maybe you?

I have been reading lots of the posts blogs here recently and it is really sad to read how many of us are depressed. I was interested in the way it affects us..apparently differently and thought it is worth raising the subject because I want to hear other peoples' opinions.

I have not yet been diagnosed after14 blood and urine tests, my appt in the first week of Oct should I am praying show what is going on..Thyroid Cortisol Adrenals Testosterone I was vert thoroughly tested.

However, I am interested because my depression doesn't seem to be too terrible, it's the total exhaustion, wanting to sleep all the time and weight gain that really worries me.

But I am on antidepressants, citalopram. I am 54 and a teacher and ended up in a school where the Head and I did not get on...I Sid very respectfully that I thought her treatment of me amounted to workplace bullying (on union advice) and she started shouting and threw me out of the office.

I wasn't taking anti depressants then. It's too long a story to put all the details but I need up taking a grievance against her and she responded by suspending me. That was when I did get depressed and started the tablets. After 18 mths suspension and long wrangles I was cleared of any serious charges but sacked for not getting on with the Head..sacked without pay references anything. Now that was all enormously stressful culminating in March this year. I have had to adapt to living on benefits..my husband has severe hep c, osteoporosis..has had skin cancer and has a replacement knee after a major smash up like Barry Sheen.

I saw the dismissal coming and executed to be able to go and get another teaching job after the axe had fallen and had a couple of interviews, but my now was bigger and getting more and more tired since then.

It is hard in the chicken and egg situation to know where things started..before my work problems I couldn't lose weight and I found an old tsh test result of 2.7 from about 10 years ago. I always felt sleepy and ready for a nap at any moment but nowhere near as severe as now...

So have I been hypo for a long time causing depression(on top of a very stressful life) or what?

Are you guys taking antidepressants or using the thyroxine to treat it?

I am lethargic, tired no libido (antidepressants cause that and as hubby feels the same we are happy to have a celibate relationship...might sound strange but honest we are fine as we are both ill and it is discussed and agreed)

But I have learned to live a day at a time, trust the future to God..and I suppose if I didn't have a set of spiritual beliefs I'd be worse off!,

I know I feel far fro normal I can't imagine ever working again...I only leave the house once a week because of everything, and hating my appearance etc. I feel like I was totally abused by the Education system. I had the grounds to go on and pursue unfair dismissal but to be honest having been sat at home for so long, I couldn't bear to keep fighting nag making myself ilea. Anyone who knows me knew I had worked my butt off and never done anything except upset a bullying narcissistic Head.

Sorry for all the bio but it's hard to contextualise my situation otherwise.hopefully I will find a cause and some treatment and this will be a turning point in my life and an opportunity to move forward in a new direction.

How are you handling depression pills or not? Did it come before your thyroid diagnosis or as a result.I'd like to know.

13 Replies

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  • I'm so sorry to hear your having such a rotten time. My depression and panic attacks came after they gave me treatment for Graves disease ( overactive) Thyroid I was fine before they gave me the isotope and destroyed my thyroid. I started to have severe panic attacks and crying constantly when I was hyper the Carbimazole given to control it isnt a good medication its quite noxious but I felt a hell of a lot better then I do now I feel like my world has ended I don't want to do anything or go anywhere i have lost total interest in life as i once knew it some of panic attacks last hours, so to answer your question, I wish to hell I had never ever had the treatment but because of a kidney transplant they wont do the op until the thyroid is stable ha ha thats really a joke UNTIL! whenever that will be. It's made me very angry with the system and lack of knowledge that these so called specialist are supposed to have and be trusted for.

  • I can imagine how angry you are..you are caught between different fields of medicine.

    , and you are right the system seems to be really unfair.drs seem to vary so much from area to area, though I seem to be in a good pocket.

    Is ther any treatment at all for the panic times? I am guessing even herbal and homeopathic meeds go through the kidneys.

    That Head teacher has stopped me teaching after 20 years, I only got in the pension 5 yes ago and was hoping it would build up a little before retirement and I was intending to work till70 to support disabled hubby. Well that has all gone so I will just have to rely on Statepension and housing benefits...like I said if I dissent have spiritual beliefs that somehow God will help me, as in many times before, I'd be suicidal!,

    I do feel for you because panic and anxiety are the worst by far........I am much less ill than you, and many others here, but I've had loads of difficult times over 20 yes. My guess is that 20 yes of extreme stress has piled up to make me ill

  • Hello bunny

    Try not to lose heart, the medical profession will have to change very soon, far too many people are ill and being misdiagnosed, more and more are coming to light. Please get hold of a book called 'Adrenal Fatigue' by James L Wilson N.D. D.C. PhD. It is a excellent book and a huge eye opener.

    I read a book by Dr Barry Durrant Peatfield and in that book he said ' of course people are depressed, because their systems are depressed'

    how true, if just one of our glands is not working properly then none of them are, they all need to work in zinc together for our bodies to function normally.

    Use the terrible situation of your loss of job and put it to your advantage, your knowledge of teaching will help you, become a private teacher, work at home so that you can work when you feel able, or write a book, or articles, and get them printed.

    Good luck and good health is wished for you.

  • Hi Bunny I am so sorry to hear of your ordeal. I have to sit on the fence here as without knowing the full facts I can't really comment on your employment situation. However I really do feel for you and hope that you and hubbie will have the strength and hope to pull through this horibble situation when you are both suffering with your health. I will stand firm though on the health side of things. I am known to be forever the optimist BUT I am starting to doubt the knowledge or lack of it that some medical professionals have. I feel some of them aren't skilled enough in the area of thyroid treatement. It is almost like a grey area but that isn't good enough for some of you on these boards who are very ill with debilitating symptoms. I too am about to go for a short Synachen test next Tuesday and will be pleased when I finally get to see the results and my next course of treatment. I have been Hypo for 12 years now (previously hyper) I paid for private bloods which showed high reverse T3. So as I am forever the optimist I am hopeful......but please hang on in there let the school issues go as it may drain your energy and as much as you were very p*** off with them its gone a negative area (but I hope you don't think that I am being disrespectful to you) try and move forward. I have never personally taken anti depressants and know that medical assistance is required to assist you when weaning off and maybe one day you will feel strong enough to give that a go. I am sorry that I can't be much help to you but maybe this site would give you my email address if you ever needed to let steam off. I am also a member of TPA UK. They have some useful information. Best wishes x

  • Thanks for that..as I have learned to love in the day I feel sure something will turn up for me that will be for my highest good. Before teaching I ran drug rehab so I am sure I have some transferrable skills..jus don't want to work in Tesco, cos I can do more..sorry that sounds snobbish and I don't mean to, vie done my share if it in the past I need to do more now..but om my terms!!!

  • Not disrespectful at all and it would be nice if tou could send me a message then I could rep ply and let fly if I need to. My work situation is so ling and complex I can't expect anyone who doesn't know all the people etc involved to takes sides. I know i m better off out of there, it was a very negative place and thug knowing I was going to be sacked was scary ultimately I am better off..I would never had the courage to walk away. I have out all the negativity behind me and that's why I decided not to follow the court case, I had to walk away or get lower and lower and I couldn't risk that. So who know what the future will bring? Please stay in touch

  • Bunny, it was after I felt so lousy that I asked to be referred back to endo having had a partial thyroidectomy 30 yrs ago. During my visits back and forth to my gp with various symptoms he asked me to fill in a tick form to establish if I had depression. I did this but firmly said to him when I returned that yes I was feeling depressed with my situation and symptoms but I did not have depression. This I feel is a big difference. Lots of problems bring you to a low point. I know of someone who was in a similar situation to that which you describe at your school. They were placed on 9mths paid garden leave and then negotiated a settlement before departing. Lots of colleagues felt the garden leave situation was brilliant and they would love to have some of it but the reality was very different. The total isolation was absolutely debilitating and being alone allowed negative thoughts to grow. I think it's quite normal for you to be feeling low and depressed after your experience. You just need a way to move down the new path that has opened up for you. There are a couple of excellent bullying sites which provide support for people who have been bullied and also offer a platform for people to share their experience. You may find this useful bullyonline.org/ Moving forward: With the competitive education system and large classes lots of parents are turning to home tutoring as a means of bringing their childen up to speed on weak subject. This is well paid and could well suit your personal circumstances. You could sound out some of the local schools and see if they have a noticeboard you could advertise on or you could always use your local newsagents/local paper. I think you'd be suprised at the response. There is a way through this. I think you just need to set very small targets and you will be able to see a positive response. I'd also go back to your gp and discuss your concerns re the drugs and agree a plan with him to wean off the anti depressents. As soon as you can see a light at the end of the tunnel you'll feel tons better. Best wishes.

  • Irene..I just wrote a long reply to you and my bleep bleep iPad or rather I did something before it loaded properly! I will try to redo it tomorrow cos it's mid night and I am still awake having slept most of the day, but I still need to sleep now.

    Everything you said is soooo true though....

  • sounds as if the education mafia have been at it again!! I'm late 60's and saw a few nasties in my time......treading on people to advance is quite common....try to let it go and don't look back....the future can be much better....I know cause I've been there.

    Chin up

    dogtired

  • Thanks for that! I had taught for 20 yrs and never been in a school where the Head had to manage every tiny decision, nor where they were so slatted off in the staff room. When it " kicked off "between me and her I was suspended cos I stood up to her, it eas strange how quickly all the other staff fell in line, and became the biggest bunch of yes people, promoting their own careers, refusing any union advice in case it upset She who mussy be obeyed. I might be I'll now but my soul is my own, I don't have to kowtow to someone, the same age as me, who happens to be a narcissistic workaholic...and am finding new friends and support here.

    I will never fully trust a teacher again and I doubt I will ever work as one again. My health physical mental and spiritual comes first!!

  • Sorry to hear that you have been through such an awful ordeal.

    Depression was one of my first symptoms which just got worse after battling for hypo diagnosis for a year and .... (my story is on here in a few parts).

    Although I am not fully better, since being fully medicated some symptoms have lifted and depression is one of them. I was in a very dark place for a couple of years.

  • I dont think I could take this for a couple of years, Ive just spent 8 months with a broken neck and a metal collar had to sleep sitting up 7 broken ribs two head fractures waiting for a kidney transplant now this depression that has seriously taken over my life and the panic attacks are crazy so scary.........F**K it all. Sorry for the F word but ive had enough, now the hospital say they have picked up a heart murmur and I have a flare up of diverticulitis because of all the stress. It reads like a nightmare dosnt it honestly. :'( Im so happy to hear your feeling better Suze. hugs.

  • For my first six visits my Drs said I was suffering from depression. I did obviously have some of the symptoms. I didnt quite feel that that was the whole picture. I too had a lot of other things going on. Told husband to go (drinking) left with £7,000 in debt and was already off work from stroke and high blood pressure. I also have problems with neck and back muscle spasm. Finally blood test said hypothyroid and am getting treatment, but still did not feel right.l I have given in now and started taking Citalopram and am beginning to feel a lot better.l Wish you lots of luck and best wishes. Yeah its a bitch. I am now having to go for an exam for a possible obstruction which apparently has something to do with hypo.

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