When does it get better?

I'm properly feeling sorry for myself today. I know I have it better than a lot of people but today I'm fed up. I know noone can predict anything; I'm just tired of 'waiting to get better'. I have Hashi's and my bloods have a way to go so I know I'm not going to feel better until they're optimal but uuuuuuggggghhhh. I was so desperate for a diagnosis earlier this year that I was very difficult not to see levothyroxine as the silver bullet that would fix me. I had hoped I'd feel well by Christmas.

Mentally, I feel much better. Much less brain fog, I don't slur my words anymore, it takes me much less time to find the word I'm searching for, I don't muddle words as frequently; much much less "Please could you put your uniform in the microwave." (Cue small child looking at me in puzzlement and I absolutely have no clue why!)

But physically I'm still a shambles. We went for a walk a few days ago. Took 4 hours to cover around 7km so it was lengthy but not fast with lots of rest stops. I had to sleep on the car on the way home, was too tired to cook dinner, and had to go to bed at 8:30.

I still sleep 9+ hours and spend much of my day on the sofa or just pottering around the house except now it feels worse because my brain is working.

This has absolutely been a whinge. Thank you for listening!

I did my thriva test the same day as the GP TSH test so I was surprised to see such a difference in the results.

TSH - 2.35( 0.3 - 5.0) - GP at 08:50

TSH - 3.5(0.27 - 4.2) - Thriva at 07:35

FT4 - 17.1(12 - 22)51%

Ferritin - 24(13 - 150)8%

Vitamin D - 158(76 -175)83%

Active B12 - 88(37.5 - 188)33%

Free T3 - 4.5(3.1 - 6.8)38%

TGAb - 701.1(0 - 115)

TPOAb - 531.4(0 - 34)

[SlowDragon Administrator]

What dose were you on at this test .....75mcg?

Have you had 25mcg dose increase in levothyroxine after these results...if not you should have one

What brand of levothyroxine are you currently taking

Ferritin is still low

Remind us ....Are you on strictly gluten free diet?

[Hidden in reply to SlowDragon]

Yes, had an increase to 100mcg about 2 weeks ago. Taking accord.

Was strictly GF until a horrendous bout of gastritis a couple of weeks ago, when I couldn't find anything 'plain' to eat so had toast. (Then had a week of eating toast and crumpets because I've missed them so much!) But I'm back to strict now.

[SlowDragon Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Waitrose new brown GF bread makes absolutely delicious toast (in dedicated GF toaster....or use toaster bags from coeliac U.K. in normal toaster)

Warburtons make GF crumpets

[Hidden in reply to SlowDragon]

DO THEY? oh, 2021 has already peaked!! I've so missed crumpets!

[SlowDragon Administrator in reply to Hidden]

warburtonsglutenfree.com/pr...

[SlowDragon Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Tesco too by look of it

tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/p...

[Hidden in reply to SlowDragon]

🎉🎉 I'm so happy now. 😂 That'll teach me for not looking myself.

I just assumed crumpets were relegated to the list of 'food I can no longer eat' alongside lotus biscoff biscuits.

[Hidden in reply to SlowDragon]

I'm going to have an iron panel at the end of Jan when I do my next thyroid test. If appropriate I'll start iron tablets to improve my ferritin. In the mean time it's lots of iron rich foods.

[cazmania7]

I know how you feel. I feel the same. It does sound as though you are on the road to recovery though at least, if some symptoms have improved. I really hope that the trend continues and you regain full health soon!

[Hidden in reply to cazmania7]

Thank you. Me too! There are days when I feel ok but more often it's just debilitating fatigue.

I hope you feel well soon too. 🤞🏼

[cazmania7 in reply to Hidden]

I’m sat on the bed feeling very tearful as I need to leave the house soon and pretend that I’m ok just so I don’t bring other people down. I’m not ok. You’re not ok and it’s not ok. Lol.

Like you say sometimes it’s ok. Bearable. You get jobs done and feel a sense of accomplishment and wonder why you complain so much. And then bam. Hello again.

Ah well! Deep breath and on with the day. Things have a habit of working out. Let’s hope it sooner than later for you buddy 👍🏻

[Hidden in reply to cazmania7]

I recognise that feeling. It's so difficult to balance my feelings with everyone else's, especially when you want to go and do the thing but your body won't play ball.

I hope today went ok for you.

[tattybogle]

I totally understand your whinge.... it's perfectly justifiable... this really sucks , and yes it is worse when your brain wakes up enough to notice how crap your life has become.

'Uniform in the microwave' made me laugh ... been there , it's like a premonition of how your children will be looking at you when your 88 and gone totally doo~lally, and they are wondering how to get your driving licence taken off you.

But Today is Winter Solstace, it is the longest night, where the sun 'stands still' for a few days and then every day after that is a few seconds longer than the last, ... and so to spring .

Hopefully you are through the worst and 100mcg will bring more of you back to life.

In the meantime be pleased that you went for the walk , that's the bit the kids will remember... no one ever thanks you for cooking dinner ( and even when you can walk AND cook again , there's no need to be in a hurry to let them know, in my opinion )

[Hidden in reply to tattybogle]

It definitely felt more tolerable to be slowing shutting down when my brain and body were equal. As you say, it's so much worse now my brain is waking up.

All I can do is wait it out. There's a bit of fear because I won't get a higher dose from my GP so I'll have a bit of a fight there (whether I see someone else or self-source).

You're right. The children didn't care about dinner they just had fun outside.

Why does no one tell you that when you grow up you have to think about what to cook for dinner... Every night! And noone ever highlighted to me how much of a chore that is! ... Especially when your own body is trying to see you off. 🙄😂

[Fruitandnutcase in reply to Hidden]

Gosh I couldn’t agree with you more, thinking of what to eat every single night in life really does become a pain. It’s a real drag and like you say it’s not something you think of as a young, starry eyed bride!

I’ve recently found my best way to deal with that is to have a fixed menu for the week but it could be for longer. I make a shopping list with what I’ll need for every meal for the week then get on with it.

It cuts out the thinking needed which for me is sometimes the worst part because you’ve already worked that out - with the help of the family (in my case husband )so that they’ve had some input. I’ve found it also cuts out waste so for us it’s been a win, win solution.

We have let things slide recently and I feel it, so after Christmas and new year we’re going back to forward meal planning.

As for exercise - I think you’ve got to be kind to yourself and not expect too much. I was hyper with Graves and I was just permanently utterly beyond exhausted. I kept going to the gym and doing Pilates mainly for the company and because I could adjust what I did but walking for me was the thing that suffered most. I used to walk miles but when I was ill I just had absolutely no energy to walk.

Eventually one day I realised I wanted to walk, I wouldn’t say I’m back to walking as much as I used to but I’m ten years older now and I’m in my seventies. So I’m probably walking what is about right for me these days.

Just be kind to yourself and try just to do things you want to do not things you feel you should do. Be a bit selfish until you feel a bit better.

[NIKEGIRL]

Feel free to whinge away. It’s ok to feel blah and sorry for yourself. Others may have it harder but you have it hard to by your own standards. Don’t worry too much about other people too much and I don’t say that selfishly but you are number one and only you can look after you. I dont have any practical advice like the others but rather be kind to you. You are amongst friends here and there is support for you here.

[Hidden in reply to NIKEGIRL]

Thank you. I really appreciate the kindness.

So long as I'm asleep by 9:30 I can manage everyone's basic needs! 2021 is going to be my year to get well. 🤞🏼