Worried I am overactive. I may need a slap

Sorry to post again, all your kind words earlier this week helped and comforted me so much. My anxiety is very high, I can't see my GP until after Christmas so I have to suck it up and accept it's anxiety. I saw my therapist last night, I decided to go and see the one that helped me after my attack a few years ago, she was lovely. She said this was general anxiety and it had come on due to me fearing being ill at Christmas (I have had a tough year with chronic fatigue and an underactive thyroid, on thyroxine 25mg May to September and since 50mg). She said me putting pressure on myself to not have an energy crash and not have anxiety had brought back my anxiety severe. She doesn't think I need to see my GP as he will only suggest diazepam and I won't ever take that.

I am just worried incase it's hyperthyroidism, which ok is probably unlikely but I was wondering if someone could reassure me. My TSH was 9.28 in May, I went on 25mg of levo. I was fine on that dose, my TSH came down to about 6 in July then shot back up to 8 in the September. I was then put on 50mg. Recent bloods at the beginning of November showed TSH was 2.6, FT3 5.3 and FT4 19 ish. GP happy to leave me for 3 months as I was feeling well, still tired but better than I had all year. My anxiety was calmer too.

Then 4 weeks ago out of the blue I had severe physical anxiety for 2 days, unlike me as my anxiety is more worries, fears like what ifs, health worries that kind of thing. It eased off but after that it was a churning general anxiety. I was off my food, no appetite, felt sick alot of days, dread in my tummy etc... my therapist last night said that is general anxiety. I was worried what if I feel ill at Christmas, what if this anxiety doesn't stop. I put so much pressure on myself.

Since Monday this week it's been constant stomach churning, giddiness, weak legs, feeling sick, off my food, sometimes a fast heart and rush of panic.... proper high anxiety. Same time as last month, I had a week like this, 2 days before finishing my pill packet and until I had my period. I haven't bled the last 2 months, too much info but it's not been red just very light and light brown. SO my husband said this could be hormones as they're racing maybe due to period changes and maybe you need a break. I have been on it 4 years, just a low dose to help heavy periods. I am going to not re start it I think this month but that worries me incase it causes more anxiety and heavy periods again, urgh.

I am panicking myself I am hyperthyroid. I use Medicheck for my bloods, GP accepts them, it's the finger prick testing. I am just worrying what if the results aren't accurate, what if I am hyper etc... arghhh it's causing me to feel constant anxiety and I am worried this current fear cycle won't calm until I feel reassured. Urgh it's horrible, I feel constantly sick and churning stomach with rushes of panic here and there. My therapist and hubby say it's all anxiety but I've never had anxiety so physical before. I had high anxiety for 2 days 4 weeks ago, then simmering general anxiety and off my food then wham this week high again and like one long anxiety attack. I am sleeping ok, but I wake every day with a churning stomach and fear. It's no fun and I am putting pressure on myself for this to be gone for Sunday and I feel I am letting everyone down.

Sorry to post again but if anyone can comfort me or give me a slap about the results I'd appreciate it. I will see my GP next week if this doesn't calm down for sure. My husband thinks it's all the pressure of Christmas and December being a huge trigger for me after my family hurt me badly 4 years ago but I never feel this bad and why would i now? it's been a tough year physically but I was doing much better. I am gutted i feel this bad now.

PS - BP is fine 110/70 max and that's when anxious, pulse only shoots up when I get very anxious. No temperature either.

Sorry to post I really am, I bet you're all sick of me and my anxiety posts right now. It's been a hard week. I have 3 kids and I have had to slap on a smile and pretend I am ok, I have had to clean and cook while feeling so rubbish, hubby is working all week. I have no support as I have no family. You guys here have been a great support to me.

Julie

[Clutter]

Jingyd35,

You are absolutely NOT hyperthyroid with TSH TSH 2.6, FT3 5.3 and FT4 19. If you were hyperthyroid TSH would be suppressed <0.01 and FT4 &/or FT3 would be over range. If anything I think you are slightly under medicated.

[Hidden in reply to Clutter]

Thank you Clutter,

That's what my friend said. I was just worried about the accuracy of the tests with finger prick testing as this level of anxiety is higher than I am used to.

Thank you

Julie

[Clutter in reply to Hidden]

Jingyd35,

As far as I know a microtainer of blood from the finger will give as accurate a result as a vaccutainer of blood from a vein.

[Hidden in reply to Clutter]

The sample was 2 days old when they tested but they said it was fine to test.

Thank you

Julie

[greygoose in reply to Hidden]

Then you have to trust them!

For a start, you cannot 'go hyper' because you are hypo, and it's a physical impossibility to go hyper from hypo. The thyroid gland just cannot do that.

It is possible to be over-medicated, but you aren't. As clutter said, if anything you are under-medicated and that's why you're having all this anxiety. Anxiety is a symptom, not a disease. Seems to me, you're just looking for things to worry about, by questioning the blood tests. Thousands of people have these pin-prick tests every day. If they were in- accurate, we'd know about it.

I agree with your therapist, the last person you need to see at the moment, is your GP. He is partially responsible for the state you're in, for not having put you on thyroid hormone replacement earlier. And, he should not have left you for three months without an increase. You should have had an increase straight after your last test, no matter how good you felt, because he should have known that it wouldn't last! If anyone needs a slap, it's him! Although I would go for a boot up the backside, personally!

Julie, I'm certain that there is nothing wrong with you apart from a slight case of under-medication. But, you have got to stop being so hard on yourself. You have to accept your imperfections and stop trying to be the perfect woman, mother and wife. Your children will love you however you are. You are their mum. And mum is the most important person in a child's world, even if she's not perfect! I had a very imperfect mother, but she was still the centre of my world. Same goes for my children. And their children. Mum just needs to be there, that's all. Slow down and take it easy for a bit. Be kind to yourself. It's your Christmas, too. And you're going to do just fine! I'm sure you are. After all, it's love that counts, not the perfect Christmas pudding! That will be forgotten after a while, but the love you give your children, will last them all their lives.

Happy Christmas, Julie, peace on earth, and love to all your family. xxx

[Hidden in reply to greygoose]

THank you GG

Yes that was my worry about being over medicated as my GP once mentioned being careful with my dose incase I went hyperthyroid.

When my anxiety spikes I guess I always look for a cause and as I know physical anxiety is a symptom of hyper my anxiety focussed on that. I had low sodium last month on the NHS, 9 days later I had it re tested with medicheck and my anxiety focussed on that and whether finger prick tests were accurate. It's so frustrating when your anxiety spikes again.

This time of year I do find it hard as I have no support other than my husband so when I have a blip in my anxiety I get overwhelmed. My children are amazing adn they've been so supportive this year, done their chore a day and always been so understanding if I was poorly with my thyroid. I am blessed and I have a wonderful husband who would send me to bed as soon as he got in from work as he wanted me to get some rest. I know I shouldn't focus on the awful family I have in my extended family but subconciously it's why I also have a spike in anxiety at Christmas. I have decided to not see my mum Christmas Eve, she hasn't supported me since my brother attacked me 4 years ago and this year hasn't once spent a day with me to help me, and I was ill for over 7 months before my GP gave me thyroxine. I am civil for the childrens sake but this year I am very hurt but not surprised because she didn't support me after her son attacked me. I know I have a wonderful husband and children of my own and I am being very brave deciding not to see her this Christmas, it won't do my anxiety any good. My husband has said he will visit my mum with the children and just say I am unwell and need a rest.

Thank you for your kind words. Hopefully this blip will pass and I will have a nice Christmas regardless of whether anxiety is present or not because I will be surrounded by the ones who love me.

Thank you and Merry Christmas.

Julie xx

[greygoose in reply to Hidden]

As I've said so many times before, your doctor is an idiot and you've got to stop attaching so much importance to the stupid things he says. He just says these things without any rhyme, reason or back-up, and they don't mean anything. He says them because he doesn't know anything about thyroid. And he's totally out of his depth. Nothing he says means anything much, but you seem to cling on to every word as if it were dripping gold. Don't listen to him! If he knew anything about thyroid, he would not have made that rediculous remark about 'going hyper', because he would know it's not physically possible.

Anxiety is a symptom of low thyroid/under-medication, just as much as it is high thyroid/over-medication. But, I have to ask, why are you so terrified of being slightly over-medicated (going hyper!)? What exactly do you expect would happen? You probably wouldn't even notice - certainly not straight away. Your heart is not going to explode, and your bones are not going to fragment and disappear. You probably wouldn't even know it had happened until you had your next blood test. It is really, really, nothing to be frightened of. Nothing at all. I have been over-medicated - grossly over-medicated - and for several months. Nothing happened. I didn't even feel that bad. A bit more tired, perhaps, but nothing drastic. So, stop letting the idea freak you out like that. OK?

And, another thing you've got to do, if you want to live life to the full : let go of the past. It was awful, certainly, but it's over. Your whole new life stretches ahead of you. And, you know, you aren't even the same person as you were then. Most of your cells have regenerated - I think it takes seven years for the whole body, so you're about half way there. You are a new you, with a lot of future to look forward to. You mustn't feel bad for dropping negative people who bring you down. They've brought it on themselves. You owe them nothing, but you owe it to your husband and your children not to let it happen again. And not to let it happen to them! Once your family see you are determined to live your own life, they will stop trying to bully you. Bullies only pick on push-overs. And you're not going to be a push-over anymore! You're the new Julie, and you are strong! This new year is going to be your year! And the past is dead and gone. xxx

[Hidden in reply to greygoose]

Thank you so much GG

I don't even know why I worry about being hyper, I think it's just because I hate feeling physical anxiety.

Re my family you're right. THe issue is I have children who miss their cousins, their nan..... and I find it just constantly drags me down. Every birthday and Christmas I know they'll be intouch wanting to see my kids. Other than that I never see or hear from my sisters. I get so anxious though birthdays and Christmas that they will be intouch and turn up at my house. My mother visits monthly and i find even that hard. I find it keeps me in this cycle of not being able to break free completely of what they did to me. My friends and my dad always say walk away for good and that they're toxic people, but it is so hard when there are children involved.

I have made the decision to not see my mum tomorrow. It'll be the first time in 37 years I haven't seen her at Christmas. My husband is taking the children to her and he will tell her I am just unwell at not up to visitors. Why do I feel guilty for doing that? The thing is when we see eachother she is polite, as am I, we chat and get along but there is no love, support or even a hug for what I have been through with her son and daughters or my ill health. I am stronger for it but it does hurt and I can't spend another Christmas pretending I am ok and we are one big happy family. My mother and sisters just want to see my children and it's almost been said that if we didn't have kids they'd not want to ever see me so I am done pretending, smiling and being false. I will remain polite and civil because I am a good person. My mother has turned up at my house at Christmas twice in the last 4 years screaming at me to forgive my brother, as has my sister and stupidly I allowed it to be forgotten. I won't do that now, it's in the past but for me Christmas is a reminder of all of that and so I have made the decision to not visit her this Christmas. IT feels wrong but also right.

Sorry to talk about my family. I don't cry over them and i really do want to keep it in the past so I can fully move on but it's so hard with my children who love their nan and cousins. I can't move on fully because of that. It's frustrating.

Thank you for your kind words and support. I hope you have a lovely Christmas. I am so glad I have posted because you have made me feel much better.

Julie

[greygoose in reply to Hidden]

Not only is anxiety a symptom of low thyroid, but I'm fully convinced that guilt is, too.

It would make sense, because the brain needs so much T3, and if we can't supply that T3, then all sorts of inappropriate feelings are going to manifest themselves, like anxiety, guilt, paranoia, etc. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with our brains, though - I can't stress that enough! It just means that the brain is starving for thyroid hormone.

I agree with shaws that a little T3 could work wonders. But, given how clueless your doctor is, I doubt you'd get it from him. Would you consider self-medicating with T3?

Or, failing that, do you have enough levo to increase your dose yourself until you can see your doctor again? You really do need that increase, and he should have given it to you after your last test.

[shaws Administrator in reply to Hidden]

From the link below you will see anxiety is a clinical symptom of hypothyroidism.

My personal opinion is that the addition of some T3 to your T4 might work wonders as T3 is needed in all of our receptor cells and the brain contains the most.

thyroiduk.org.uk/tuk/about_...

[Hidden in reply to shaws]

Thanks Shaws.

[silverfox7]

You sound like you have a wonderful husband and lovely kids so pamper yourself more. I prescribe plenty of cuddles and doing more with what you want to do spending time as a family. I know things can be confusing when you statcon your thyroid journey but we are all here for you and will help all we can. Being hypothyroid means changes and we aren't used to them so we worry but as I often say things in the thyroid world move very slowly so you have time to ask about anything you are unsure off. Also when we take medication things are expected to change as part of the healing process but because it works slowly we dont jump from being notvdo good to brilliant over night but something may be different but it's a stage in the journey and not the finished article. Sometimes things can get worse before they get better but also remember we are all different and can react differently.

It is unlikely that results are wrong but it's not impossible so just make a note of it and see if it's the same on the next test.

Have a wonderful Christmas with your family, remember the cuddles xx!

[Hidden in reply to silverfox7]

Thank you so much. I just said to Greygoose above that I have made the decision to focus just on my family this year, it's been a tough one and those that have hurt me further and not supported me yet again I have decided not to see. I have a wonderful family of my own. My husband and children are amazing and since my brother attacked me and we cut family out on my side we have become so much happier and content. I am truly blessed.

Lots of cuddles indeed.

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Julie x

[CarolineVi]

Julie

I too feel awful but have put Xmas out where it belongs. I have 5 children and had a baby 9 weeks ago.

I had undiagnosed symptoms before the pregnancy which returned 1 week after birth with more severity. I am hyper but don't think the symptoms are related to this. I've been to so many consultants and had a brain MRI but nothing. I've just nearly been sick this morning. I get tingling all morning. It's just awful.

The problem is my health anxiety history. No one believes my symptoms and they say it's all in my head. I got taken to a mental hospital a few weeks ago because everyone thinks it's psychosymatic.

I feel so sorry for you and me and anyone who is ill but no one believes them.

My anxiety is a major problem and I always think the worst but this has led to everyone concentrating on that and no one regards the symptoms. It's an impossible situation and I feel for you inexplicably.

Sorry we find things so difficult.

[Hidden in reply to CarolineVi]

I am sorry to hear of your struggles. I can relate. I have health anxiety and for so long my GP thought I was depressed and just anxious. Blood work doesn't lie though.

Huge hugs to you.

Merry Christmas.

Julie x

[shaws Administrator in reply to CarolineVi]

You poor thing. Lucky to have a little baby but to also have been undiagnosed hyperthyroidism and you must have been unwell.

Many people are diagnosed as psychotic when they are really hypo/hyper. The pity is that doctors have lost their 'touch' with regard to patients clinical symptoms. Once you are diagnosed it is very difficult to change their minds but we instinctively know when something isn't right.

I think thousands are treated with mental health issues which could really be due to the thyroid gland. In the UK it's the worst in the world for diagnosing, either the doctors do not do the blood tests, or interpret them wrongly, i.e. most of the world diagnose and treat patients if TSH is just over 3. In the UK it has to be 10. Where that figure comes from goodness knows.

Have you now been diagnosed as hyperthyroid? There's quite a few links on the following.

google.co.uk/search?q=hyper...