It’s hard to talk about cancer because there are so many things people do differently in treatment, so many choices we make. I don’t get offended much but someone said something today that kind of hit me the wrong way. I never understood why stage iv cancer patients were offended by those who didn’t have stage iv and said they are survivors but I see it now. There is no cure for us so when other survivors say I’m a survivor of cancer and prayer works well yeah I agree with you’re a survivor, we all are and prayer worked for them because they are cancer free. No!!! Prayer works for everyone and those who don’t believe in prayer, I’m sure that whatever you put your faith in works just as well whether we survive this shit or not. I had stage II, non aggressive so I chose to do a lumpectomy. .Today someone said she’s glad she didn’t take the easy road. Her choice was a mastectomy. When dealing with a cancer diagnosis, there is NO easy option. All options are on the table and all of them are hard decisions each family has to make. To insinuate that some options are easier than others does an injustice to all who suffer with cancer and have to make tough choices when faced with a deadly disease. I am not easily offended and I usually never take things personally but I think I’m offended not only for me but for all other cancer patients who didn’t choose the same route as this person did. End of rant!!! Am I wrong??? Am I just being overly sensitive because I am stage iv???
Rant! Rant! Rant!: It’s hard to talk... - SHARE Metastatic ...
Rant! Rant! Rant!
Agreed. I am a practicing Christian, but start to squirm when people go on about how God blessed them with this or that, or that prayer worked for them in this or that way--does that mean all the other suffering--and praying, people aren't blessed or listened to by God?
Perhaps controversially I think "gratitude" has become a very overused word, and can morph into shallow, self-centered theology. Nothing against prayer, faith, hope, appreciation etc. I firmly believe in, and practice, all of it. I also believe that we are called to pay our blessings forward--how can we use what we have been given-- those things we are "grateful" for, to support others?
My initial cancer, 13 years ago, was tiny. I was treated at MSK--one of the best cancer hospitals in the world, and assured by one of their top oncologists that my chance of recurrence was extremely low.
Yet here I am.
WTF.
Does God love me less than someone who didn't get cancer? Did I do something "wrong" to deserve this? I don't choose to think so.
No one knows what others are going through. So a bit of discretion, grace, humility--and listening, is vital.
xxP
My recurrence was supposed to be extremely low as well, less than 20% chance and yet…..
One never knows what tomorrow will bring for anyone. I don’t begrudge anyone who is still clear of cancer but I don’t appreciate anyone thinking that the choices they made regarding treatment on their initial cancer diagnosis has prevented a recurrence because that is just not the case for anyone. We make choices about treatment based on many factors and every patient has a different reason for selecting their individual treatment plan. Just because my cancer came back doesn’t mean I made the wrong choice. It is what it is….
I had stage 1 initially, chances were "slim" of reoccurrence. Had a mastectomy and the whole shebang and then 3 years later a lump appeared on the same chest wall of the surgery side, go figure! So yes, it drives me crazy when people make a point of stating that they have "dodged a bullet" by removing their breast.
Sadly, I know that may not be the case at all. They have lowered the chance is all. But then again, perhaps ignorance is bliss while it lasts for them? The medical community of professionals is partly to blame for this belief. They want their patients to feel totally optimistic. I get it, though I do hate false hope. I try not to be upset by all this, so I take a deep breath and hope for the best for everyone ❤️
Oh I so agree with you! Prayers are for everyone whether they are answered or not. I went for a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy although that was also an option. After choosing the “difficult” option, I am still where I am - with MBC.
One of the biggest mistake is being told that 5 years and you are clear! Trust that I never thought my hip pain was cancer 7 years later. I thought it would return to the breast. The lack of education abt MBC is insane. And no, low dose chemo was not the answer at early stage. My oncotype was 17. My MSK surgeon said we have no idea how long the hip met was there. We never scanned you at the start! And it is true. And he said today at 17 we would not have done low dose chemo so do not beat yourself up over that. Seriously! Everyone has something. This is our something and there are lots of ways to stopgap this.
Yes. My score was 13. Normally, I would not have gotten chemo and radiation, borderline, but I was in a study, TaylorRx, and got randomly assigned to light chemo and radiation. They didn't even count me as relapsed because my mbc appeared 11 years after treatment, and the study had wrapped up. While I was being treated for mbc, the Taylorx results came out. Turns out that the chemo and radiation did not prevent mbc for people like me.
In 2013, I had a lumpectomy, radiation, clean margins with "little chance of it returning" ER pos HR neg 4 cm tumor, but I opted out of chemo because with my body I knew there was 100% chance chemo might kill me, or at least that's what I believed so .... then 5 years later, I slipped in my kitchen and lo and behold, the cancer was in the bone and it was rotten and my femur broke right above my knee. So, back to the drawing board. I am on ibrance and letrozole. I've had massive indigestion lately and I was blaming the ibrance, but I decided to take a break from the letrozole for a few weeks and guess what? the indigestion seems to be gone! I didn't know whether to keep taking it or not, but the weird way it fell into the freezer led me to believe it was a divine intervention and after being frozen it would have to be replaced anyway, so the amt. of pills left, I am taking those days OFF then getting a new prescription. My ibrance will be reduced to 100 mg. next cycle so, that's really what I wanted at the start. I will go back to the 21 on 7 off with the lower dose because I don't feel I was getting enough of a break for my body with the 5/2 which worked well for me otherwise. I am MY OWN LAB RAT, no one elses, because no one else cares about my body as much as I do, and I'd rather make a wrong choice than some stranger making it for me. I feel like I am led by God because I try and give it all to Him and the results are up to Him; I do what I can though! <3 xo God bless and heal us all in Jesus name, amen! PS sad thing about Estrogen is that we are robbed of something that also does alot of good in our body, i.e., for the heart, strong bones, keeps skin healthy, etc. etc. I hate that I have to give that up!
PSS You are not being overly sensitive because people do kind of "lord it over you" that they did the utmost and you did the least so now you are paying for your poor decisions. And you are also right, that there was nothing easy about the route you took, it all came with soul-searching, hard decisions and weeks of anguish, but I would make the same decision again!
I am not a medical professional and would encourage your own research. I have read many articles that diindolylmethane (a natural supplement) works in similar ways in controlling estrogen that prescribed AIs work. If you are not taking an AI for ER+ bc you might want to at least look into a natural supplement that can help and be much easier on your body. I do not wish to intrude on your personal choice but wanted to atleast provide that as an option to look into.
No intrusion at all! I very much appreciate the info as I didn't know, or if I did, I have forgotten! I know I do not like letrozole! God bless you and thanks again!
Thanks to you, I found THIS! I love you I love you I love you!!! over the top? so be it! I already eat broccoli several times a week but who knew brussel sprouts had almost FOUR TIMES the whatchamacallit! (100 g equals 3.5 ounces) ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...
I discovered broccoli sprouts from a book called Life Force by Tony Robbins (the motivational speaker). These are typically in my morning smoothie. On the days they don't make it in my drink I take sulforaphane (supplement with liposomal delivery for more bioavailability).
I've been eating broccoli 3 or 4 times a week for over 2 years just because I love them and knew cruciferous veggies were good for us; the Lord works in mysterious ways indeed and thank You Jesus!
I totally agree with you , I had a lumpectomy 16 yrs ago. , I now have MBC in lungs , I don’t feel I made the wrong choice of treatment , everybody is different it’s just unfortunate for all of us that we have this disease , I felt at the time that was my choice and I don’t ever think I should of had a mastectomy. and I most certainly didn’t see a lumpectomy as an easy way out
I so agree with you. Well said 💕
I encourage you to not use needless mental energy re what other people do, say, etc. Unless they have walked in YOUR shoes they cannot understand anything! I tried to educate my very knowledgeable Dentist on Monday( understands ONJ and keeps a watch out) why we can never say MBC is in remission!! We are people living with a terminal disease, must choose for ourselves what we believe is best. I do believe in God almighty and the gift of his son Jesus Christ which helps me deal with this life everyday. But God never promised that those who believe would only have good stuff come their way only that He is with us in this storm and Eternity is going to be great!
Hi Fancy! Just popped in to say hi and that God did say He would use it ALL for our good in the end, so we can rest in that confidence that it will all turn out for our good; no matter what it looks like from this vantage point! I know I'm preaching to the choir LOL .... God bless you and good "seeing" you <3 xo
I understand your RANT. This is all awful and difficult to navigate. I was diagnosed in 2016, had a lumpectomy and then returned in 2019 and had a mastectomy. I am managing ok at this point, but. . . . My daughter was diagnose at 37, radiation, chemo and double mastectomy. She was sick with treatment for a year. Her son was five years old. Her prayer was to be able to raise him. We hoped she was free, but thirteen years later, it came back. She fought it again with all she had, but lost the battle. She was on many prayer chains, but she finally came to the point of saying "God has another plan for me". Now, were her prayers answered because she did raise her son, celebrated his high school graduation by traveling to Europe, then saw him off to college. Yes, I wish we had more years together. I often feel guilty that I'm still here and no mother should lose her daughter. It should have been me, not her. We can not know was God's plan is. None of us will live forever. All we can do is have faith and enjoy each day the best that we can. God bless.
I’m so sorry to hear your daughter lost her battle. As one mother to another, to lose a child has to be the worst pain on earth. I pray every day that my children outlive me. I’ve been praying for years that if God’s plan is to take one of my children from this earthly life, to take me one day earlier so I do not have to experience that pain. Only God knows what his plans are for us and we have no control over that plan so I pray, daily….
NOT WRONG.ITS OK TO RANT, EARNED THE RIGHT, IN THE CLUB, TOTALLY GET IT AND WITH YOU SISTER, ON ALL COUNTS.
❤️🌺❤️ Mary
Really like this feed. All of us with MBC are the real survivors! Everyday when I wake up, I consider myself a survivor. I live with cancer. I live with the fact that I have a disease that will kill me.
Not to take away from those who are cured but the Cambridge dictionary says a survivor is a person who continues to live, despite nearly dying. That is us everyday.
It is not the same as fighting to be cured. Early stages have a fear of death but it is not an expected outcome like it is with use.
I know some may not agree but I think people look at us as the failures when we are actually the true survivors! That is quite an accomplishment!
God has a special place in Heaven for us.
Hi There, very good note. I must admit, I thought about these topics quite a bit. Unfortunately, two of my friends that were diagnose a couple of years before me, they took different paths with lumpectomy and another partial mastectomy., I often why in the world they did not go all they way! With full mastectomies. They both passed after I was diagnosed. I had a full mastectomy, chemo and radiation and it came back. My doctor says cancer will take the path, and we can make good choices but at the end, cancer will do what it will do! And we should respect what our minds and bodies can take.
I appreciate your rant. When a person without MBC who says something like "everything happens for a reason" in a dismissive tone it drives me crazy for a moment. But I can ignore that. What I struggle with is my own sense that somehow I failed, that if I had just done x or not done y this wouldn't have happened to me. Of course, intellectually I know better but in sad moments I struggle. This forum helps. Thank you all.
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