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Anxiety overload

Annadm profile image
37 Replies

Hello friends,

I am on Ibrance 125mg/ Letrozole. I’m also on antidepressants and clonazepam for anxiety. I can’t seem to shake this anxiety. I can’t sleep, I have no appetite, no energy, I feel like an earthquake inside of me. Even therapy doesn’t work.

Is anyone feeling the same way? What do you all do for your anxiety?

Thank you and God bless 💕

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Annadm profile image
Annadm
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37 Replies
nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks

I am going through the same thing. I have had a relatively recent progression and a lousy fall and winter of treatment for same. I also talk to a long time therapist, a psychiatrist for antidepressant and clonazepam, and it helps keep me from being a psyche admit, but I am shakey and nervous and have no reserve for anything causing stress like insurance problems and husband nattering away with his ocd tirades. He is a good man, and I pity him going through all this with me.

I don’t have any sage advice but I can share what I do. I force myself on bad days to get out of bed. This is a lousy diagnosis and so far no one can change it. I tell myself today I am alive and I cannot lay here waiting for the end. I try to eat well even if I have no appetite. Veggies, protein. A treat (love cookies). I am having a hard time getting greens to juice, but I swear by juicing. Even if you’re still anxious, drinking green juice is great for your body and you will probably notice you feel a bit better. I’ve sent for green powder that I can add to smoothies. Garden of Life. I tell myself this unrelenting stress is no good for me on any level, including dealing with the cancer. If talking to myself doesn’t get me going, I reach out. I try not to overburden friends. But I usually feel better having talked to them. I cry if I’m really overwhelmed. Sometimes a good cry releases the tension all this stress causes. I take a clonazepam if I’m so on the edge I’m not really functional. I’ve been told I wait too long. I prefer Xanax, but the doctors don’t seem to. Xanax works faster. Clonazepam lasts longer. At least either of those drugs is somewhat helpful. I give myself a chore to do that doesn’t overwhelm me. Yesterday it was a bit of vacuuming. I have pets. Two cats and an old Maltese. They are my buddies. I let my husband know if I’m having a really bad day, but I try to limit that. I also set boundaries with him regarding what I can handle and what I’m not up to. We are stuck together during this quarantine and he cannot escape his own stress. I meditate. This is a big one. I haven’t been good about it lately, but yesterday I took a clonazepam and listened to a meditation a friend sent me. I was a mess. It calmed me down and I had a long nap afterwards, not that I recommend sleeping your life away. I was better when I got up. Go for a walk. Get out of your house every day. Safely, of course. I bet you will feel at least a bit better afterwards. Do not drink a lot of coffee or tea. Get a good book. Watch a good movie on tv. Do not watch daily covid reports. You want to surround yourself with peace and life affirming messages. Do you garden? Paint? Bake? My husband and I have had several zoom visits with friends and family. It’s distracting and it keeps you connected. There are online yoga classes. classes on You Tube. Websites to check out include Kris Carr, Tara Brach (meditation). There are several meditation apps that offer free stuff such as Calm and Insight Timer. Journal? Be sure to include what you are grateful for and things you enjoy. Not just the cancer and your fears. Watch a little tv, just don’t sink into the couch. A lot of what I’ve listed is pretty obvious. There is no magic elixir. Keep moving, make a conscious choice to be more active when you can. Even though you say therapy doesn’t help, I find getting your thought out there releases some of the stress. Good luck. Gotta take a call from my therapist in 2 minutes. Then I’m off to vacuum some more and get out of the house. Isolation is a killer. Stay connected ❤️💕

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to nstonerocks

Wow! You have no idea how much it helps to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Like you, my hubby is a Godsend. I feel horrible for him. Like I’m a burden even though he reassured me I’m not. But you’re absolutely right, I have to push myself more to get out of my pj’s and go out for air a little every day.

Thank you so much for your advice. God bless you 🙏🥰

nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks in reply to Annadm

There is a small army of us out there. You are not alone in how you feel! It takes strength and a plan to get through this in the best possible way. I don’t know where you are, but SHARE has a help line. They will try to pair you with a person in a similar clinical situation to talk to. I’ve reached out to them several times when I was swirling the bowl. You are definitely NOT alone💕

Iwasborntodothis profile image
Iwasborntodothis in reply to nstonerocks

You blow me away supporting this community even when you feel bad. God bless you!

nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks in reply to Iwasborntodothis

Awe. It’s more like God help me. What else can we do but keep going and help one another. Trust me, I have lots of down time.

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to nstonerocks

I’m in Canada

nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks in reply to Annadm

Are you in a place where you can go for a walk? Do you need to wear a mask? I’m thinking of drawing lips on mine

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to nstonerocks

Yes. Of course I can go out to walk. I’m in Montreal. In a beautiful neighborhood.

nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks in reply to Annadm

Nice! Bet you can walk to amazing cafes and nice gardens! Mais oui!

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to nstonerocks

I can but they’re all closed :(.... love the French 🤗

nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks in reply to Annadm

How could I forget? We weren’t even allowed to sit in our car and look out at a small local lake. Too many others out fishing or kayaking. “Social distancing”. Guess if I had a fishing pole and a mask I could have stood 6 feet away. But not in a parked car...

Barbteeth profile image
Barbteeth in reply to nstonerocks

Hey Nancy please post a picture of you in the mask!!

Barb xx

nstonerocks profile image
nstonerocks in reply to Barbteeth

I will do that!👄

Barbteeth profile image
Barbteeth

I was like this 18 months ago...tried therapy and antidepressants...none of which helped

I agree with Nancy...get out the house even if for a short walk...I suffer with a lot of pain but on good days I can do more...I would love to walk a long way but the pain is too much...had a fractured vertebrae and the pain has never gone

I used to wake up every morning...remember my situation and cry...I don’t do that now...maybe that’s progress!

Animals are wonderful therapy ...I have two horses and I’m able to ride a bit...at home have two cats and a rabbit so looking after that lot takes my mind off me

It’s a horrible life we have now and nothing can make the mbc go away but we have meds to keep us going and hopefully more on the way....that’s my fear...no meds left and I’m very much against chemotherapy...I’ll take the pills but have vowed not to have IV chemo but I guess I might change my mind in the future...nobody understands like us ladies on here....I’m fed up of people saying..be positive..be strong...you’re a fighter...when does your treatment finish etc etc...I have to really stop myself snapping at them...they mean well but it’s very upsetting sometimes...I have to avoid my neighbour as she’s always saying ‘poor you’ and I heard her quizzing my husband the other day...didn’t help that he broadcast my diagnosis to all and sundry...I’ve not forgiven him for that...so insensitive!!

Do you think a lower dose of Ibrance may help with your side effects?.. when I was on it I had a reduction to 100 mg and it helped...it’s no use having no appetite as you’ll not eat enough to energise your body to do anything active which is what may help you...it’s sort of a viscous circle

All the best

Barb xx

in reply to Barbteeth

Barb has a good suggestion to talk about lowering your Ibrance dosage. I went from 125 to 100 mg because fatigue was bad. It made a difference.

Annadm profile image
Annadm

Thank you Barb, and YES!!!! .... those words “be strong”, “be positive”, etc. I can’t stand hearing them anymore. I don’t snap, I avoid. You’re both right, I MUST kick myself in the ass and make it a point to at least go for a walk every day. As a matter of fact, I’ll go right now.

Thank you Barb. And God bless 🙏🥰

Barbteeth profile image
Barbteeth in reply to Annadm

Oh your so welcome...enjoy your walk

Barb xx

I am sorry you are battling anxiety on top of everything else. I've encountered similar issues. I take Celexa and added a tincture of CBD oil to find relief. I also found a free guided meditation app on my iPhone that I listen to occasionally. It reminds me to breathe and that helps. I didn't do this before my diagnosis, but I find it helps. I realized a while back that I can be a "shallow breather." I am so focused on the tasks at hand that I don't always deep breathe. I know it sounds like a small thing but it helps. I also check in with a counselor every month approximately so I can vent in ways I would not with my family. Nan's advice to get up and move and go outside is wise. There are studies about endorphins and activity. Even a 15 minute walk will help. We are here for you.

BluHydrangea profile image
BluHydrangea

I’m sorry that you are having some challenges with anxiety....I also suffer from depression and anxiety with the diagnosis and treatment. I try to meditate and get outside.....just to hear the birds and life doesn’t seem so overwhelming. Give yourself some credit... you are going through a lot... hug to you .❤️

MyMiracle13 profile image
MyMiracle13

We all suffer from anxiety but in different degrees. Being in lockdown makes it worse. What keeps me sane now is that I have found very gentle and meditative exercises for beginners and seniors on You Tube. Search for Qigong and Tai Chi exercises by Don Fiore. He has 9 minute and 20 minute exercises. I started with the 9 minute introductory exercises and have now graduated to the 20 minute exercises. It has helped me calm my mind.

PJBinMI profile image
PJBinMI

You've gotten alot of good suggestions here, and best of all, support. I'm a long timer living with mbc (16 years) and have met alot of other women with mbc. Most, probably nearly all, of us have bad days with anxiety/depression. Alot of us are on meds for anxiety and/or depression. This stupid disease is really scary! And it is so unpredictable! For me, finding bits of it to laugh about has helped. I have a dark sense of humor. And adding this crazy quarantine is another layer of uncontrollable crap! I'm fortunate to have a great husband plus really good insurance. Our kids are all grown and out on their own, and I'm thankful for that. I hope you and your docs find ways to help you feel better. Sending cyber hugs, love and prayers......

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to PJBinMI

Thank you 😊

hdhonda profile image
hdhonda

Smurff,

Most of us are having problems now. Keeping your life as normal as possible is good, but not possible right now. I take a Xanax occasionally - usually at night. Hopefully, the world will have a vaccination for covid-19 and put this behind us soon. In the meantime, massive testing is a short term answer. Be safe. Blessings, Hannah

I’m on same Cancer meds but not anti depressants. I find music is calming and outside space. I’m fortunate enough to have an allotment to go to that takes my mind away from all this hurt and pain. I live in an apartment and have missed most of the wonderful UK weather as I do not want to take a chance on being amongst a lot of people. There will be more sun once this virus has passed it’s crazy peak. Also on a positive note about outside the air is nicer and the birds are singing. For 8/9 months into my treatment I cried nearly every day. Now, I have the odd blip, usually in mid cycle of Ibrance but I tell myself I’m here, living, breathing and am being looked after with treatment. Hard as it is try and have nice thoughts. Never take in the comments that are made and are also insensitive. Think we have all suffered that. Care about you and no one else. Virtual hugs coming your way, look in the mirror and smile. That’s a nice feeling.

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to

Thank you so much 😊

SMPG profile image
SMPG

This is is very tough for all of us with this disease. I am also on Ibrance, Letrazole and an antidepressant. I try to keep myself busy at all times. I take online courses from TheGreatCourses.com, I learn French and Italian with Rosetta Stone. Actually, I progressed so well that now I can read many great books in French. I was very much hit by the death of our cat, Chub, who was with us for almost 16 years. He too had cancer and inoperable, untreatable. Now, we have decided on adopting two kittens. I am sure the play of young kittens will put a smile on my face. Our daughters said that if I die and my husband dies too, they will take care of the cats. So, I was thinking to myself that happiness is seeing playful kitties. In any case, try to keep yourself occupied with things that you like, that can put a smile on your face, that give you a sense of accomplishment. I know that if I let my brain unoccupied, dark thoughts will come. So I read a lot too and when I go to bed, I make sure I am very tired.

in reply to SMPG

That's so wonderful, about the kittens! So many sweet creatures need homes...you're doing a great thing, a win-win, for sure! Please do post pics when you get them! p.s. When I working, I always said "summer interns are like kittens...you should always get them in pairs, everyone will be happier!". :)

mariootsi profile image
mariootsi

We are with you! The lockdown with covid makes the anxiety and depression worse. I take xanax.... Always had problems with anxiety. Also take Remeron at night to sleep.

Nancy had great suggestions and also just remind yourself to take deep breaths!

Love and hugs,

Marianne

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to mariootsi

Thank you 😊

Sky_Writer profile image
Sky_Writer

I'm the same...anxiety, sleeplessness, etc. I am trying to move more...short walks (even stay-at-home walks to YouTube videos). It doesn't take away the anxiety, but it reduces it for a bit...for me.

NamasteLove profile image
NamasteLove

I wish I had 'the answer' to share. What you are experiencing seems very common among us with MBC. I have had panic attacks- in the hospital, in the treatment room, at home. They had become less frequent- though the anxiety is always present in the background- and then Corona happened and they started to sneak back up. Deep breathing and reciting a mantra has helped me. Sometimes I lay across the bed and turn the music up until I calm down. Sometimes I cry and just get it all out- it is a great release for me. This (the world as it is right now- and our diagnosis/treatment, etc.) is a lot to deal with.

We all have many different ways of handling it. I hope you find something to work for you.

Wishing us all good health.

Nama

HilaryHamilton profile image
HilaryHamilton in reply to NamasteLove

Thank you for sharing about your panic attack. It sounds like you have tools with breathing and your mantra.

I had my first ever panic attack two days ago. I'm finished my third cycle of Ibrance and had pounding headaches for 3 days so I went with my husband to the chiropractor. On the way home I received news that my friend with Stage 4 BC was getting sent home from the hospital on hospice. She has triple-negative and I know our stories are different but it hit me. I couldn't breathe and had to pull over on the side of the road. Throwing off my shirt because it felt so hot and tight. It was scary. I thought I was having a heart attack. Some days it all feels out of control. I take Celexa for anxiety. I took two Ativan for the panic attack. It's ironic because I've been meditating every morning. I read Radical Remission and watched the series. I may be in my efforts to do everything to stay calm and be "optimal healing health" are part of my need to control and fix this.

Life is a lot right now with uncertain times and then the unpredictability of MBC. Sending love to all of you.

NamasteLove profile image
NamasteLove in reply to HilaryHamilton

I retired (disability retirement) in August. I am so glad that I did. I just couldn't deal with the extraneous stress at work- it just wasn't worth it for me. I needed all of my energy and mental stamina to tend to my health.

I had been taking L-Theanine (sp?) for anxiety and to help me sleep. It worked for me, just mentioning it as something to look into.

I had never had panic attacks, so it was frightening when they started. I can relate to how you felt.

This is a lot to handle on any given day, but especially overwhelming with what is going on in the world.

Keep meditating. It will help you find your breath. My mantras are usually helpful- but it takes practice and repetition for me. Every day is different. Some days the anxiety is strong.

Hope you find your way through this.

Nama

HilaryHamilton profile image
HilaryHamilton in reply to NamasteLove

Thank you! I appreciate your wisdom. I'm so glad you're not working and able to focus on you.

Red71 profile image
Red71

I get frustrated rather than depressed. Frustrated because I can’t accomplish the things I wish I could. But, having goals does keep me going. I have quilts to make for grandkids and genealogy to complete. I also read a lot and play Words with Friends with many friends around the country. We chat a lot and they are all in the same boat, bored and stuck at home! So it makes me feel better to know that I don’t feel much different than any other person, with cancer or not.

I hope you find a way to handle your anxiety and depression. It might be bits and pieces of all of our ways, it might be a way totally unique to you. If you can’t find a way please call your doctor and tell him you are at the end of your rope and you need help.

Hugs, Elaine

Kimr2081 profile image
Kimr2081

I am sorry you are feeling this way but its hard not too. I take anti-depressants and klonapin when needed. I am going through an especially hard time at work. I work for a huge corporation and they have some new management in and they really make you feel like you are just a number to them. that's hard because I already feel inadequate. so having MBC, dealing with this virus and my issues at work, I am going to go one disability and then my financial planner is going to help me get to long term and on medicare early. I just can't cope with the smallest amount of stress.

Hang in there and just know you aren't alone.

Annadm profile image
Annadm in reply to Kimr2081

Thank you. Yes, you should be on long term disability. I am.

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