So my mom decided to get the masectomy instead of the partial one. I know this was a hard decision to take but due to her current dyalisis condition, we thought it was better for her to get rid of any chance. So my dad her and I discussed and we said it is better to get over the "what if". Her surgery is on Tuesday 25th. Praying it all goes well. Any tips!? How can I help my mom in terms of emotions after?
Also, I little bit scared for that general anesthesia since she is in dyalisis. I know she has gone through even riskier surgeries like her lobectomy under induced coma. But I worry about her being put under this time. Doctor said this is a more simple procedure that what she has ever hard so I should not over think it. Trying to stay positive!!! And feeling a bit better taking it a day at a time. Can't believe this has all happened in the span of a month.
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janeths466
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I’m glad you came to an agreement on treatment. It is good to feel that everyone is in agreement and is supporting what is best for your mom. The best thing you can do to help your mom is to keep doing what you are doing, being supportive of her treatments and her emotions, but not getting too overly emotional yourself so she doesn’t feel like she has to take care of you. It sounds like you are doing much better at that now, so keep it up! She will be painful right after the surgery. Help her keep track of when she needs pain medication and make sure she doesn’t try to do too much. She will probably come home with a drain in place and will need help with that( if you don’t get faint!). It’s really not a big deal and will come out in probably a week or two at the most. After that it’s pretty easy physically, or it was for me. Everybody reacts differently. If she is emotional about the loss of her breast, remind her that it hasn’t changed who she is but accept her feelings. Please let us know how her surgery goes. We will be praying for all of you, including her medical team. Elaine
thank you so much! yeah will definetely help her, with her dyalisis and hospital stays i have had to become used to blood and such haha 😭 i really appreciate it💕💕
My mom had a double mastectomy in March 2018. It wasn’t a difficult decision for her - she’s a pretty logical person - so I can’t speak too much on the emotional effects.
One thing I do recommend is a special shirt for the drain(s). Moms were located on her sides and would hang down. There are special mastectomy shirts that have little pockets on the interior sides to hold the drain bulbs. So they aren’t just dangling - which can be painful. Some doctors might provide something to take care of it, but ours didn’t and I was really glad to have a couple of shirts. I found mine on Etsy but you can just do an internet search for mastectomy drain shirts.
Also, she may feel some latent pain for awhile. Both mom and I were surprised by how long after after surgery she would get little sparks of pain. It takes the nerves quite a long time to heal and rebuild connections.
Great idea re: the shirt (very clever product! ) but, Janeths466, if you can't find one or get it in time, wanted to mention that I used medical tape to keep mine in place with no pain. Certainly a less elegant solution, but easy/convenient!
Oh that sounds nice thank you! Yes I am trying to prepare for her to be comfy. Thank you for the recommendation 👏🏻 And yeah she recently had a lobectomy (removal of half lung) and I think that was the most painful one yet since the nerves do take a while.
Hi, Jane, just adding my good wishes and prayers for all concerned with your mom's surgery and speedy recovery.
I have not been in your shoes but so heartily agree with what Red wrote about how wonderful it is that you came to agreement and are on the same team on the procedure.
Your parents are so lucky to have your help and support; just remember to take some time outs for you, the helping caregiver, as well.
Also the concern about anesthesia for more elderly is so natural. However, three friends who underwent various hip,heart, cancer surgeries within this past year and are elderly all came out of the much improved anesthesia incredibly fast and easily. Best to you and yours.
Thank you so much! Yeah I know it all usuaully goes well, I just have anxiety and everything makes me panic. But yes I so glad theyhad succesful surgeries👏🏻❤️ She is very active and 44 years old, literally doesn't even look like she goes through all of these things.😭
Jane - I'm so glad that you all have made this decision and are moving ahead. I, for one, was eager to get that cancer (and sites of potential future cancer) out of my body! It was a huge relief when it was done and, sure, it takes a couple of weeks to feel fully human again, every day is better than the prior one...
Wishing you/your mom the best for the surgery and an easy recovery!
I think your mum has made the right decision to have the mastectomy
I was only 40 when I had mine and did mourn the loss of my breast and that I wouldn’t be attractive or a real woman...however an elderly lady said to me...‘they’re to feed your babies with Barb and no use after that’...strangely that cheered me up as she was right...our society puts too much emphasis on female bodies and beauty...young girls getting breast implants etc
Thank goodness Page 3 girls in the newspaper aren’t permitted anymore
The recovery time took a few weeks I remember and I was back riding my horse after 4 weeks but then I’m a bit mad but I was only 40 then!
All the best to your mum...you’re a lovely caring daughter
if I could change the past I wont do mastectomy, bc I did and my cancer came back at the same spot 6 months later and spread to my bones.
However, if you made the decision dont let her do nothing for 3 months! Treat her like princess! I didnt have choice to start doing things after 1 month bc I have small child and my family live in another country. I developed so much scar tissues that cause alot pain and radiate to my back. I deal with that for almost 2 years when I decide to remove implants and change for small one and then have another surgery to remove scar tissue and capsular. I feel with less pain but I hear the scar tissue will come back again in the same spot. I believe when you move too much or start working in your chores you dont heal properly and that's when all the scars build up. I wish the best your mommy. GOD BLESS HER.
Hi, I just wanted to say that gentle movement as soon as possible is actually best to avoid limited range of motion and promote circulation and healing. Perhaps with small kids you built up strength too quickly with all the lifting of kids , and with that strengthening comes tone and tighter muscles . Some people are simply more prone to developing scar tissue.
Really it’s a combination of stretching and slow build up to strength which is best after this surgery.
Perhaps you can see if there is a pilates Insructor near you who has also got a certification in breast cancer recovery, it would likely help you a lot. I know that feeling of tightness and restriction , it needs stretching and release work to feel better
Good luck with the surgery . You or your Dad will have to empty the drains until her body starts absorbing the fluid. Her body will learn to reroute it. I found out later that our insurance would have paid for a home health nurse to come by and empty it but no one told us so my husband did it for me. She will be just fine. The surgery itself was fine. There was horror at seeing the scar for a while. You are a wonderful daughter and your Mom will do great. Blessings Hannah
thank you! oh definitely. My mom is super brave when it comes to medical things but she refuses to see her scars. In fact she has not even seen her lobectomy one from a year ago. She goes through alot but does not like seeing them since she says they are triggering.
Breathe and trust your mum will be ok. ❤️For me the surgery wasn’t that hard either. There’s a good chance it will feel like a breeze compared to the lung surgery! Wishing her the best.
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) but, Janeths466, if you can't find one or get it in time, wanted to mention that I used medical tape to keep mine in place with no pain. Certainly a less elegant solution, but easy/convenient! 
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