My name is Tania, I am 21. This past year has been so rough. My mom is 43 and has me and my 2 small siblings. She is a 7 year dyalisis patient, and last year she had a lung canceroid removed and was in ICU for a month. It was horrible, she was coughing blood and I almost lost her. She received dyalisis as she was hospitalized.
Now, she is doing well still in dyalisis. She had a pet scan after the whole lobectomy and came out clear on decemeber. She had a mammogram due and they found a cyst and a lump which was biopsed.
This morning they gave us the terrible news that she has cancer in her breast. The doctor told us that we will take steps from there and see what is possible. But I am so overwhelmed. My mom has dyalisis, previous lung canceroid, and now this breast cancer. She feels like she did something wrong to deserve this. Apart from that my sister has been sick and we are being referred to doctors for her too to see why she is feeling so ill. So my mom has a lot on her plate.
I feel so weak, and sad. I almost lost her last year, and am barely recovering from that trauma. These breast cancer news are making me feel so lost and afraid and I feel trapped. I don't know what to do. She already has so many health issues. She is already jumping to conclusions when it comes to treatment even though we do not know any staging or anything.
Written by
janeths466
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this and at such a young age. You are so strong to try to reach out when you feel helpless. The best thing you can do is take things one day at a time. I was diagnosed Stage IV right out of the gate, and the treatment they have today is so much better. I feel good and was diagnosed almost a year ago.
I feel for your mom that she’s having so many different health issues all at once. I know it’s got to be hard for you to see this and especially since you also have a sibling who’s not feeling well. No one does anything to deserve illness.
Try to take a deep breath. I know you have a lot of weight you’re carrying on your shoulders. I am giving you a big virtual hug.
Remember, one day at a time. Also, is there anyone you can talk to who you trust to help you cope? I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.
Hello Thank you so much! I am glad you feel good and wish you the best!
I am currently still processing all of this, I am fine for a bit but then I go to thinking the worst that could happen and I break down. I will try to go to therapy soon, and probably take a semester off to handle this. Thanks!!
My daughter is 30, so I worry about her and how she handles this, but I think she sees I’m doing okay, and it comforts her. I wish you the best.
Dear, dear Janeths466!
My heart is breaking for you, so young, having to deal with so much! Truly...I have a daughter, 21, and a son, 23, so I picture them in your situation and it's unimaginable.
I'm so impressed that you've reached out and you are doing your best to deal with what's in front of you and your family. Gosh...it's a lot...
A couple of comments...
First, I am certain that the ladies on this site will support and be with you throughout. Unlike the bigger sites, this one is very personal and we truly do care about one another. So you've found a good place to come to with your questions and concerns.
Also, it sounds like your Mom's situation is complicated with the dialysis, but from a breast cancer perspective, I think it's fair to say that there are treatments that can help her. Many of us have been stable for years, some of us for even longer. So while this is certainly an emotional crisis, it's probably not a medical crisis at this moment, in terms of the BC. Your Mom should take the long view, make good decisions, and get the best care and info possible.
Janet466...I'll mention one other thing...In my opinion, you should focus on your own self-care as much as possible. Please don't take on more than you can handle while balancing your Mom's/siblings' needs vs. your own. As mentioned, I have children your age...Nothing would hurt me more than thinking that my children were more affected than they need to be (and by need I mean "worry" as they move toward their futures). Unlike you, they don't have young siblings, which certainly would complicate things. So I don't know enough or have enough wisdom to sort through that. But, again, please do look out for yourself in all of this...
Be well, take care, and please know that we're here for you, even if we are just on a computer screen...
Thank you Lynn! Definetely means a lot ❤️ I will try to take cafe of myself as much as possible once I process this thoroughly. I feel like I do not have peace of mind yet because I do not know anything with the staging or what direction we will be moving. Honestly, thank you for the support❤️
Janet - what a rough road you've all been on. I am sorry you are shouldering this burden. I am sending prayers and gentle thoughts your way. We are here to answer your questions and offer support. It is staggering to hear about BC and it takes a while to process it. It's hard enough to hear one has BC and your dear mother has other health concerns that understandably worry you. One resource for you is that hospitals have social workers who help folks like us and you. The social worker can point you toward support systems for your family. Please let us know how you are getting on in a few weeks. We are here for you. As you've said, you don't know the stage of the BC yet so exhale and wait and see.
Thank you, it really is hard. She has been well and said she is okay and just wants to focus on it when the time comes. I am the one that is super worried but hopefully we get answers soon and see where it all takes us.
I’m sorry Janet. You were under a lot of stress before this last one was added. I can understand how it can feel like the last straw. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 9 years ago. I had a mastectomy and was told I was cured. The cured stage lasted for 7 years. For many people it lasts forever. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you going to the worst place. Instead, just deal with what is going on right now. If you haven’t reached out to all available resources, family, friends, social services, do it now. Then take a breath and wait until you know more. Empty your mind of the what if’s and just deal with your daily stress which is more than enough.
I don’t know what your insurance situation is, but if you can get a second opinion, be sure to pick doctors that you feel comfortable with and who will be available to help you as well as your mom. Many oncology offices have social workers who can work with families to help them get the help and services they need. Be sure to ask if that help is available.
I also wish I could give you a real hug instead of a virtual hug. I have children who are older than you are and I know it shook them to the core when I got my MBC diagnosis.
Hello, thank you so much it truly means a lot. I am trying to live day by day but it randomly hits me and it is quite hard. Trying to stay optimistic. I have been offered help but at the moment I feel weird because I never thought I would need it in my life.
I’ll pray for your mom! She’s really having a hard time...Have u considered an integrative oncologist as a second opinion? She’s gone through a lot and may need a gentler way of doing things till her body recovers from all it’s gone through already...😀...just a thought...make sure your comfortable with your Onc before starting a strong anti cancer protocol.
Yeah we chose to stay with the oncologist that she had while she was in the hospital last year. However, if anything we will ask for other opinions to see what is best.
Bless you all . My thoughts and prayers are with you all . God will give you the strength to get through all of this . One day at a time . Like that song one day at a time sweet Jesus. I have had quite a few tribulations along the way . I’ve looked up and thought you’ve got it wrong this time lord its too much to bare. Some how I got through it as you will . I wish I was with you to give you a hug . Keep your chin up .
Too Young to go in alone. Find some one who’s little bit older who can help you out just with the emotional things. There’s no rhyme or reason why we get these things. I’m being treated for a stage four cancer and I have a 28-year-old special-needs child whose father died 15 years ago and who has no family I have. I’ve been a good person it’s not because you’re good or bad it’s justThe role of the die. But take all the help that you can possibly get because you needed to and you needed help you a little siblings. Peace and prayers
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Hi everyone, I'm new here
Supporting my mom
Cancer Without Chemotherapy: ‘A Totally Different World’ - The New York Times
My sister has stomach cancer 
