Mammogram Coming Soon for Mom...

[janeths466]

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all staying safe and doing well! It has been about 7 months since I last posted about my mom. My mom is 44 a dialysis patient, last year had a canceroid in the lung, it was a terrible time, but removed (no spread). This year she had a cancer tumor removed from her breast (not linked to the lung) and doctor said she had no spread to lymph nodes after surgery, she takes hormones (not sure what they are called but it is a pill) daily, and she finished radiation about 3 months ago. The oncologist said that the chance of her breast cancer coming back was very low. But of course we still worry. Anyways, she had a scan about 3 months ago as well, and the doctor said she found some small masses(not sure what she called them) in the other breast. My mom panicked but the doctor said she shouldn't worry, that they were benign. My mom insisted and said she rather know the truth, but the doctor said they were normal and not harmful, but she would do a mammogram again on September to keep her under watch just in case. This is coming soon and I am so scared. My mom has gone through so much, she recently had her dialysis tube changed too, so I worry everyday. I pray that everything is well like the doctor said, but I am terrified of going through the process we went through this year, how can I relax? Any techniques? I know the doctor said don't worry, but at this point I don't think I could take going through it again. Just thinking about this recently makes my stomach turn, the times we went through when it was detected were so hard this year.

[Hidden]

Dear janeths466 -

Your concern for my mom warms and breaks my heart....

I'm afraid I don't have any great advice re: reducing the worry...we all struggle with that.

I'll mention what I do, which is certainly not for everyone, i.e. could cause even more stress, but....

....I think about/focus on the worst case scenario. Like, beyond "think", I sort of imagine that it's true and "live", mentally, in that scenario for a while. How would I feel? What would I do? What COULD I do? Meaning, if it comes true, what could I do to possibly counter it or cope with it? At some point, I become comfortable with even the worst case, e.g. I could do surgery or chemo (terrible/stressful, etc., but I remind myself that I've gotten through it before, can do it again!). I might have to live with/accept some unfortunate truths re: life-expectancy, etc. But, again, have done this and many others do it (how do they do it? can I get there, myself?), what would my "new" life. (i.e. after this bad news ) look like and what would make me happy?

So I find that this greatly reduces my fear, but - again - it's not for everyone...

BUT, it does sound like you would have good reasons to be optimistic! The docs are almost always right! Although I know the rational brain can shut down during times like this...

Wising you both the best, please do share with us when you know the results, we're here for you....

Sending love,

Lynn

[8576]

Wish I had some magic wand to help you through all this. We all have anxiety in varying degrees. It is awfully difficult to deal with Cancer and waiting for scan results, not to mention the medications and treatments.

It does sound hopeful though. I think the doctor is right. And just know in a worst case scenario there are a lot of treatments available to fight Cancer so try to focus on what can be done, rather than what can't. (Hope that helps.)

I know that is not easy but you are doing very well in supporting your Mother. Talk to the councillors at the cancer centre. They can help talk you through this. You need support during this time of stress.

Sending a 'boat load' of hugs and good wishes,

Cheers, June S.

[hdhonda]

Jane,

Hopefully, the doc is correct and they are benign. She certainly doesn't need anything else to deal with. My prayers are with both of you. Blessings Hannah

[jersey-jazz]

Dear one

You may be more worried than your mother because you are the helpless one with no way of knowing about it all. You are like the husbands used to be when they were relegated to the waiting room.

My suggestion to you is to take a wonderful break with family and friends. Find something to laugh about.

It Is true that the doctors are not always right but they know more than we do so it is usually good to believe in their diagnosis. I too do not always put my trust in their word.. When they do the mammogram, perhaps you could ask that they do a sonogram as well. If your mom has dense breasts, insist upon it. I "speak" from experience. My prayers are with you and your mom.

X O

[mariootsi]

I pray for you and your mom. I wish you both the best. She is blessed that you are her daughter. Find strength in each other and trust the doctor or get another opinion. We must be able to trust our onc!