feeling down

[janeths466]

hey all, i was feeling okay about everything yesterday. I was told my mom had multifocal bc which means there was two tumors. i have been overthinking and feeling sad. My mom told me she cannot believe she has cancer on top of dyalisis. I cannot either. I wish this was all a dream and my mom was okay.

The oncologist said the tumors might be early stage since it is a rare type and her last pet scan was clear of any cancers since her last lung canceroid one. Also said the tumors were not that big. She also said pills were likely an option since estrogen was positive. However I feel down. I know I am getting some answers and options, but I started reading forums.

I do not wanna lose my mom to cancer. I know she is scared. And I often see people gettin it back, or just discovering they are at another stage after surgery. I am so scared it hurts me emotionally. My heart aches. My siblings and I need my mom so much. We already miss her when she goes to dyalisis 3 nights a week. This is just hard, thinking of seeing her in pain makes my stomach turn. Thinking of the future scares me. Although it seems like the cancer is still in the breast, because the pet scan did not show anything, my mind wanders off because cancer just appears any time.I cannot think of a world without my mother. I hate seeing her already worried about what is coming. I am weak, and would not wanna live without her. This sucks. I wanna keep her for more years to come and pray that she is cured. But reading stories online make me feel discouraged and sad. Sorry if I just rant, I just don't get it. Some People my age live life without that many worries. I feel like this isnnever going to end. I have no words anymore.

I know there are chances of her being cured, but it is hard when I read stories of it randomly coming back, and people losing their parents. Makes me feel down.

[Barbteeth]

Janet you must stop feeling like this until you’re mum gets a complete diagnosis....worrying about it won’t change a thing and may upset her as well to see you like this

Avoid looking at stuff on the internet (tempting I know!) but there’s a load of outdated /inaccurate stuff on there which will just add to your worries

Why not do something nice for your mum...can you go out for an afternoon tea...a movie or something to take your minds off this

Sorry to sound bossy but I have two daughters 32 and 27 and I would hate for them to feel like you do....obviously they’re concerned about me but they don’t talk about it all the time and nor do I...we do things and have fun even though I’m not able to be as active as I was...we try to put mbc on the back burner

Barb xx

[Denzie]

Please stop trying to bury your mom before she’s dead. She has an amazing medical team caring for her. The lung cancer and the breast cancer are both early stage. Fortunately for her it has not metastasized to any other organs.

She does not have life threatening, metastatic breast cancer like the other women here. She does not have metastatic lung cancer.

You’ve mentioned that you’re getting help for your sisters anxiety and issues. Have you started any counseling for yourself? On an earlier thread you mentioned that your fear and anxiety are causing your mom stress. The stress you cause may be just as dangerous to her as the cancer. For mom’s health and for yours take care of your stress.

[janeths466]

Also I am so sorry for this post if it sounds like I am being ignorant or desperate. I was in a bad place and have anxiety so it takes me time to process. I think beofre I speak.

[Denzie in reply to janeths466]

It doesn’t sound ignorant or desperate. You are worried about your mom. What you have to come to terms with is the cancer is going to do what the cancer is going to do. You have no control over the cancer.

However, you do have control over how you react. Right now you need extra help with that, and strengthening your ability to respond by becoming a better stronger you through counseling.

You need to trust your mom and her doctors. From my vantage of having breast cancer and metastatic lung cancer, it seems her doctors are doing a great job.

[8576]

You are doing what most of us have done. Obsessing about our disease. It is completely out of our control. Besides there is an army of doctors and researchers working to give us treatments to control the disease so it in their hands to help us. And good news keeps popping up.

We had to move forward and instead of wasting valuable time we learned to just use our time to do nice things, think nice thoughts and take care of ourselves as best we can.

Your Mom is fighting the good fight so you and your siblings can only help by bringing a positive attitude to her and finding way to ease the pain for her. Keep asking for better meds and pain management.

Sorry if that sounds preachy. I am only trying to reach you in your turmoil and turn it around.

All the best, June S.

[mariootsi]

I want to echo what Barb said. Try to relax and enjoy being with your mum. We all think the "what if" scenario where our imagination runs in a negative direction. We have to stop it from getting totally out of control.

You can get through this together!