Day 5 - Bad Morning

So I started the day in a fabulous mood. Got up, got in the shower, slapped a patch on and was ready to take on the world. Went upstairs for a cup of coffee and there sat my significant other with a scowl on his face. I said good morning and asked how he was. Needless to say he was very cranky and snappy. I successfully remained calm and unruffled and did not give in to the instant urge to snap back but it truly turned my whole day around and left me feeling terrible. I texted him later to say that I was sorry he was having a bad morning and that if he wanted to talk about it I would listen and I hoped his day got better. He asked me if I honestly thought I've been easy to be around. He said he is very proud of me for quitting smoking but I've been super edgy and cranky whether I realize it or not and its hard on everyone (either I am in denial about how I have been acting or he is overreacting). Then he said there is a reason he gets so mad at me when I quit smoking and then start again. I apologize for venting but I have tried really really hard to reel in how I am feeling on the inside when I am cranky or edgy and not take it out on anyone else.   When I do catch myself I try to turn my mood more positive and haven't had any outbursts or anything of the sort. I have been cleaning my house like a mad woman to relieve the tension I am feeling inside and surprisingly it sort of works.   I realize that its not anyone's fault but my own that I started smoking and then quit smoking. I realize that I've tried and failed a few times. But I also feel like he is not really being very supportive. I realize that he woke up on the wrong side of the bed but I was in a great mood and he was not, and by saying what he said this morning I feel like maybe I can't do this. So instead of smoking I am writing this rant that might or might not make any sense lol. So for anyone reading this, what do you do when you get in an argument or get mad instead of smoking to calm yourself down and let it go?

17 Replies

  • Hi Princess and welcome to our quit family😊

    Well done on day 5, that's brilliant👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Please remember that you have not failed in your attempts and many members have had trial runs before as well. So put all that in the past and this is your time to shine👍🏼  Take one day at a time and it's very normal for our emotions to be all over the place😩 but this will pass.

    Your other half probably doesn't realise how hard this quitting malarkey is, but we do. So feel free to rant, shout or anything else as we understand. Anything that stops you lighting up is a good thing😊

    Have a read of the pinned posts and stay strong. We say NOPE not one puff ever🚭🚭believe in yourself coz you're doing great. If ya need anything just shout.

    Good luck🍀

  • Well done on quitting 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 What I do if I feel edgy or grumpy is go off and do something else like you clean the house lol but stick to it I have a husband who has not said well done proud of you once ,I've tried many times but have never got this far and will not allows Paul lack of praise stop me if anything it I powers me xx

  • Hi princess - well done you - if I wasn't on champex I would prob only have given in in that scenario - so clap on the back you for being so strong . Remember we are ultimately quitting for ourselves - it is us who have to deal with the nasty side effects of smoking so be kind to yourself, love yourself and stay away from ole mr nic👍

  • Hi princess, don't give in your doing Fab, and I myself have tried several times but never this long, and you know why my husband said I was a better person smoking:(  but I kept trying, and here I am. I know I was horrible couldn't help it, but hold on it will pass and it will get easier . I do feel for our partners as they would or could not if never smoked understand :( you can do this , perhaps because we are so Focussed on quitting we don't or are unable to give our other halfs the time they need, when they wake up on the wrong side of the bed :) . My husband is right behind me now, maybe because I'm not so grumpy :) stay Focussed , you really are doing fantastic . Stay close to this site, we all know what you are going through . It is hard this addiction but you can do it xx

  • self belief and support from this group will enable us all to emerge like the pheonix from the flames.

    I believe we are all doing AMAZING :-)

  • Hi there. Ah men!! Well just lately I have left the room and gone and laid down on my bed and punched the pillows. I have also gone for a bath with candles and all that. Last night I hugged a cat. When my husband is in super bad mood I ignore him and divert myself by playing scramble on my phone.

     At work I have gone and locked myself in the toilet and said a few prayers. 

    So far I haven't killed anyone 😊😊😊🐱🐱🐱🐱

    Sounds tho like you are doing really well. As hard as it is just ignore him when he is negative and praise  yourself for being a saint AND not smoking xx

  • Ahhh the joys of men 😱😊

    I wonder what your other half would be like if he had to give up something that he really liked (quitting is not like giving up something for lent, it's for life!)

    Why don't you you make him a cardboard grumpy sign.... That way if he thinks your really cranky he can hold it up 😊 That way he gets it off his chest, you will know your being a mizog and he gets out of bed on the right side 😊😂 It's a bit like him helping you get through this... Also why don't you take him out and have his fave food as a way of thanking him for putting up with the mood swings..."........ You can use the money you have saved by not smoking 😊👍

    PS: great quit bye the way 😊👍🚭🚭🚭🚭🚭🍀🍀🍀🍀

  • Loved those suggestions droopy. You're wise. :-)

  • Thank you so much for all of your replies. It truly helped! Like you have said I am doing this for me! If I had a smoke every time someone was in a bad mood I would be back to smoking and I don't want that. I would only be cheating myself! Excited to get to day 6. My parents are coming this weekend thankfully too and they will definitely keep me on track through my first weekend!

  • Some of my favourite things to do when i am feeling angry or mad:

    Chew chewing gum 

    Down a pint of cold water

    Tidy my house

    Cook some dinner/food

    Scrub the toilet

    Change the bed

    Go on facebook

    Do my makeup/dress up 


    Hopefully some of these ideas will be good for you, but maybe try explaining to your other half that you are trying, and if he could maybe tell you when you are being cranky so you can realise it and possibly change the behavior. 

    Itisnt nice for people around us when we are cranky, but we also cant help it. The first few weeks of my quit i was just going to work, coming home, going to bed. I didnt want to upset anyone and bed seemed like the safest option. Plus any excuse to lie in bed ;) 

    Hope things get better soon for you lovely :) 

  • Ha, that's a difficult one to answer. First of all, maybe just pin it to waking up on the wrong side of bed and let it go. It's cranky time during quits, no need to get anyone else's crankiness on board. Just say no to that. "No, I will not react to that crankiness because I don't want to be sucked in". :-) So, what do I do when I need to defuse myself now that I don't resort to cigarettes? Cleaning something does help me on that department, so I understand your cleaning frenzy. But other than that, deep, deep breaths and a tall glass of water. Nibbling nuts seems helpful also. Oh, and petting my cats! That's an instant shot of relaxation.

  • Hello P.P.  You may have started smoking but not your fault you kept on--it is a highly addictive drug=--so you are kicking something on the level of heroin--If you are cranky--apologize--but dont take crap because he is cranky and wants to blame you--It is shaking your reality of believing you have been semi keeping your edginess under control--and you probably have---Im sure your husband is a good man--but take the target off your back and get on with your quit--At least you are trying to insure you will be around and healthy and he should appreciate that--If he is a smoker and not interested in quitting--you will get no support-or mercy--because he does not want his world shaken  or to feel for a second maybe he should quit too. I said in an earlier post no one wants to go down the road to destruction alone--maybe it is subconscious--but its true--You are stepping out of the circle and making life uncomfortable--Tell him if he thinks he feels bad he oughta be you trying to do this with all the withdrawal and havin somebody getting pissy at you besides--I have no mercy- for him-I am here for a reason and so are you--Now Ill tell you what to do when you get upset and get mad instead of smoking-- Here goes:  My dear you did it when you jumped on here and poured it out--Good  princess--!! Stay close to the site--you are never wrong for anything to do with quitting here--We get it and want you to succeed--Im sorry it annoys him but overjoyed at your persistence and desire to quit--let me know how you are doing now-- Lotsa hugs,MmeT

  • Thanks for that post! It makes me feel much better. He is a smoker that does not want to quit. That is his personal choice but mine is to quit and stay that way. Since then we have had a discussion about my need for his support and that some people have a harder time than others. I have successfully made it through a whole week and I feel like each day gets easier and easier :-) I have no desire to return to that lifestyle as hard as it may seem at times.

  • Congratulations on your 1 week quit, delighted for ya Princess🎈🎊🎉

    I bet your parents were very proud of you too👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    Keep going as you're doing great🚭👍🏼😊

  • Wonderful princess--you know once people realize you ARE serious--a bit of respect comes --also good communication helps too--and it sounds like you are more than willing and able to communicate your needs--Keep going now--You are on a roll. Hugs,MmeT 

  • Very good Princess--stay on the road--and don't let fear or others reactions effect your quit--It is your time--Know it--own it and go forward--you are on the road to freedom--Blessings-MmeT

  • Writing is good PrairiePrincess📒✏️

    It doesn't matter how many times you've tried to quit .... What matters is you care about yourself enough to keep trying.....NEVER stop trying👍🏻🎉🎉🎉

    And I hate it when someone bursts my bubble when I'm feeling great... But when we quit, we are more vulnerable to get set off by someone's bad mood.... Keep your reason close and keep us close... We're here for each other ❤️🇨🇦 xx

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