I got up today and put on my patch. I had a relapse over the weekend but was determined to stick with it as my reasons for wanting to stop are still at the forefront of my mind. I walked to the chemist to get an inhalator and had gum at the same time. I am on holiday this week and for some reason could not stop thinking about a smoke. So what did I do I went to the shop and I bought ten. I smoked one then thought to myself I didn't even enjoy it so why did I do it. I suspect the habit is what is hard to break as it cant be the nicotine addiction because I have a patch on. I am so annoyed with myself. I refuse to let this habit beat me!! I want to be fit and healthy and this habit goes against everything about me. I am health conscious and try to eat a sensible diet. I love fresh air and exercise and above all I am fanatical about hygiene both in my home and personally. A friend once said to me I am really surprised that you smoke because you are so fanatical in every way!! And then you go and light a fag up!! What is wrong with me? I cant afford it anymore and I am very worried about my health. I wish there was a magic switch. I guess this is what addiction does to you.