9 wks

[madametobacco49]

I have a headache everyday same time,sleep like a rock at odd times,overall sense of blahness and PURE JOY that I have come this far-I had 8 yrs left from when this picture was taken before I was to become addicted

[bandit2]

I understand you wanting to know the truth, I think people dont tell because they dont want to scare you. I can tell u what I learned from people and my withdrawls maybe that will help. I smoked 40 yrs, pack a day. I too am in 9th week. I have constant headaches and my head hurts to touch, my anxiety is off the chart, I just got pimples, sleep what is that I get maybe 4 hrs if Im lucky. Ive been told the withdrawl goes on for 3 months then your brain relaxes I hope to God. Something we both can look forward to. I did it cold turkey, u have a patch so maybe u wont get hit as hard as I did. Im an all or nothing type of gal. lol Keep up the good work and do write your quit story it helps people understand what u went through I know it did for me. Try doing it it helps to unload it.

[madametobacco49 in reply to bandit2]

I have no patch--never did--so im on the dark side of the moon too.. At this point it isn't getting easier just changes--and catches me off guard-I sleep at odd times very hard.. could eat a horse,have headaches every day,and feel lost and blah--Not all the time but that's the off guard stuff.. iM ok then wham...Still my worst day in withdrawal is better than my best on cigarettes because its going to get better and it never would have had I kept on. I couldn't breathe--Lung function tests were normal but that doesn't mean you can breath---At first I thought oh boy these normal tests mean I can keep smoking but then I thought hey!! Im getting a second chance here--get out while the getting is good--My whole plan has taken months to get here--but I did it so I wouldn't feel fear because that is the would be quitters worst enemy.. Fear will drive you back into it--I actually have smokes in the house--If I didn't I would freak--I don't touchem but I know if it gets TOOO bad I havem and that seems to make it all easier--I don't believe in starting out throwing everything out--The day you do that is when you are ready--I am facing my enemy head on and im winning--so far so good-Hitting it from several angles and belief systems ---Every person in their own way and time and this is mine

[droopyJ in reply to madametobacco49]

There are a lot of quitters who still had tobacco laying about at home whilst quitting and I take my hat off to you. I have the will power of a gnat and would have caved in about 10mins after I quit 😕😊

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Hi Madametobacco49, I did respond to you a day ago, BUT, it seems to have flippin gone

Sooooo a big warm welcome to our lovely quit support community and a massive great big well done to you for reaching very, very nearly 10 weeks quit and I bow down to you for going it cold turkey

It sounds like you have had a lot of problems and still are please be patient eh and hopefully, things will get better and easier for you

For some of us, its very scarey when we quit, so to have some cigs in the house sort of gives us backup eh, cos we know there their just in case Ha ha ha I have to laugh at myself sometimes, cos I live with 2 smokers who smoke in the house, when i quit, I asked them to not put them on show, if you see what I mean to which they do not but they might as well cos I walk into the front room and look at a cushion, lift it up and guess whats their I zoom into a newspaper on the table, lift it up, yeah, you've guessed it I have to laugh at myself, I zoom into an astray if there's a cig in it BUT BUT it just dosnt bother me anymore and those odd times it does, I just go out for a walk or into my garage

Madame, as you say, you are facing your enemy head on and you are definitely flippin WINNING gal just hope you start to reap the benefits soon

You sound a very strong willed Lady and am just loving it

Take care now Pete

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

gotta get'er done--its rough today--you kno how just nuthin makes you happy kinda?? Its just been a little rougher lately --It seems reality is settling in--My best friend/worst enemy is gone!!

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Yes and good flippin riddens to him toooooo

You just dont need him any more gal

The only thing mr nic did for you, was make you ill and cost you loads a flippin money

Who needs a friend like that

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

NOBODY--it just is a terrible addiction--worse then heroin they say and I believe it--I hope you are doing well today

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Yes, i've had a good day thankyou for asking

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

your very welcome

[bandit2 in reply to madametobacco49]

Good for you look it in the eye straight up, me too got bags of them cause my hubby still smokes only now in the basement because the smell makes me sick at least right now it does. My bad I thought u were using a patch. Cold Turkey seemed to be the best idea however I didnt know about the withdrawl symptoms no-one ever told me. I even tried hypnosis but the symptoms are too strong I still got the headaches, salivating like a bitch cause I think Im hungry but wont give in if I can help it. Sleep whats that lol. The hypnosis did help my anxiety thank god something did. Thank god it wont last forever cause my willpower is getting drained not the fact I want a smoke I just want these friggin symptoms to stop.

I dont want to look at my lungs after 40yrs of smoking I wouldnt think they would look too great probably a little dark. We will keep on fighting the fight ok you and me vs maggot nicotine, we are at the same pace and these people say how great they feel after a week BS I say, I dont notice all these wonderful things people say they experience like things taste better- NO. breathe better-NOT ME, better sense of smell- NOT YET, feel better-HELL NO, I feel like crap and thats the truth. How about u, ru feeling the euphoria yet?

Keep in touch. Where do u live?

[bandit2 in reply to madametobacco49]

You know what pisses me off is that not one person has said they enjoyed smoking. I now I did, it relaxed me, I looked forward to my morning butt with coffee and after meals, true there were times I smoked just for the hell of it. I know its bad for me but so was butter hell everything in life thats enjoyable will either kill you or is illegal. In my opinion we are all addicts in one way or another.

Diabetics are addited to insulin, people are addicted to thyroid meds, cholesterol meds. Anything we put in our body on a regular basis we get addicted to. Nicotine is no different, hell some people who are just "casual smokers" have no trouble giving it up. Its the die hards like us smoking every day who get to suffer.

How about you madame did you enjoy smoking be honest. We all quit for one reason "FEAR" one way or the other, me I had so many stitches in my mouth I was afraid of mouth Cancer and didnt want to lose half my face like that movie critic did. That was gross if u ever saw him. U quit because you were "afraid" how much damage you have done even tho your tests were ok. Others fear Cancer, others fear heart failure. Just being brutally honest.

[madametobacco49 in reply to bandit2]

Of course there were times I did--It got me thru a multitude of things from happiness to sadness. I loved 'having a smoke" with daughters,friends.whoever.. It was so much a part of me after 50 sum years I never thought much about it--When the prices would go up Id think:" I will be damned if they will make me quit..I don't care if they are 10 bucks a a pack" and those days 10 buck a pack are getting close.. It was the extra effort it was taking to do things that were normal for everyone who didn't smoke--ie going up steps,walking for very long---It was draining me of stamina which is getting less anyway...My daughters dad who Ive been divorced from for over 20 years died this last april from lung cancer--I had to watch her go thru that --2 mos from dx he was gone!!!Her aunt died of esophageal cancer 6 mos before--Very hard watching her go thru all this--She wept and kept saying "mama you aren't going to leave me ,are you?? " She never said because of smoking cuz she smokes herself but I promised her at least another 12 years...that was just one of many things that happened---God I held out as long as I could --I believe it was a direct contributor to both my parents deaths--Mom had a stroke and lived 5 more years unable to talk right , and in a wheelchair --like having half a mom and dad an aortic aneurysm---Heres the deal--I don't want to die---because of this shit or live fighting for air--and in my heart I knew that day was coming.. Oh God I want one-Its-like losing my rt arm and best friend...Life is empty. I try to stress what good things are happening but don't kid yourself--This is one helluva an addiction--and I want to feel that heavy dirty feeling in my lungs as bad as you do.. I have grown to love being killed---NOW Ive decided I want to live my best life and this isn't it--I pray I make it..I have plenty of smoking ,dead patron saints I hope are guiding me and watching over me cuz frankly Im lost...

[bandit2 in reply to madametobacco49]

I know what u r feeling but Cancer is everywhere not just for smokers, kids get it. I was afraid of COPD, lots of times the doc would flash that word around. I miss my morning cig and after meals. I cant be active too much I got deteriorating discs, sucks to be old. The friggin headaches are killing me. Came so close yesterday to a smoke just to see if the pain would go away but I didnt. Ive come this far I have to see it through.

I long to feel better but holy crap I feel like shit through and through. I have no ambition to go any where but to put ice bags on my head. I wish someone would tell me when it stops not that "it will get better" I want to know WHEN. or Im afraid I will crack

[madametobacco49 in reply to bandit2]

I understand Debbie believe me--I talked to a 76 yr old man behind meat counter at grocery store today--we were discussing quitting smoking--He quit in 81--I felt like a dumb leper standing there---then he said if he found out he had terminal cancer tomorrow the first thing he would do is buy a carton of cigarettes--I said WHAT??/ you still want one???--He says he can live without them but yes would love to smoke still.. Now that wasn't good news from my current perspective.. I thought fer crissakes am I gonna be felling this naggin need 35 yrs from now--well I guess not cuz I wont be here but my god--I stopped and got me a couple more e-smokes-I don't usem much but they help but really don't give me that dull heavy feeling in my lungs Ive learned to love--so if this is what I have to do for now--Im going to.. It really is a terrible addiction and when you have a dam near life long history it is extra hard--My whole self image is that of a smoker...Just like you I want to feel better--I hadn't been out since last Tuesday on my b-day--Had to go to store today--Felt like I got shot at and hit--no energy to fix myself up much--Im in mourning I think--some part of me--the nicotine baby wants its ba ba--something weird like that.. The other part is the health issues that arrive at this age--and I have them too--I live alone and it is getting harder and harder for me to do everything without killing myself--so yes dear I get it--I get it all-lets just go one day at a time and maybe one of these days the fog will lift and the yearning will subside--and we can take a deep breath and whisper" I am free"

[Andrew-S in reply to madametobacco49]

God all I seem to do is hear about and talk to people who used to smoke some 5, 10, 20 or more years ago. And would they still like one? You can see the answer in their eyes even before they reply and they say yes I could easily have one I still miss them and they all say if they had just one that would be it addicted again.

I still crave them and even worse sometimes think oh I'll just have a quick fag and then it's like I remember that I don't do that any more and I can't even have just one.

I hate that and hate the thought that I will miss it for ever sometimes the idea of it makes me think it's beautiful and I love them. Truthfully I used to love the smoke going into my lungs and hitting the spot. It's such a disgusting filthy image but it's true.

Then it also makes me angry that Iv been idiot enough to get addicted to this. I never felt like I was missing out before I started so what's different now?

I can totally understand that man saying if he knew he was going to die he would go buy some.

I really hope I'm different and can forget about them and move on. It also makes me angry that anything has this much power and control over me and that is one reason I'm choosing to stop allowing cigarettes to control me. Makes me furious.

Hope ur doing ok 😀😀

[madametobacco49 in reply to Andrew-S]

I feel about like you do--like wth is going on here?? Don't know why I started and don't kno why I stopped-I can speculate at my frame of mind at beginning and end--but still its a mystery how this drug came into my life and has been part of it for over half a century--Ridiculous but really shows what addiction is--I never really thought about it much--I just smoked--and smoked and smoked--if I was bored,if I was happy,if I was sad--It was just part of me--and part of me is gone now--I know the rationalities--for doing it(don't hold up to good anymore) and for not doing it--When something makes you feel like crap and you cant stop doing it --that's addiction..BUT it is hard getting off a hellbound train isn't it?? I don't like it--not a bit and I want to throw a tantrum and lay on the floor and kick my feet and yet be a dignified lady and say I can do this and a tough girl and say I will do this . Im in a dream of some sort or was I before and Im just waking up??? This is where im at --a tad crazy

[bandit2 in reply to madametobacco49]

Im so glad I have someone who is going through the same crap, like I saw your post about the headaches, me too wake up with it go to sleep with it until I take an Advil every 4 hrs. Sometimes they are liveable and others hurt like a bitch. My scalp is sore to touch. Good news though I talked to Lottie she is 4 months free and said the side efffects are all gone so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope its there for me, I think I got all the shitty withdrawls the sweats are very annoying as is the anxiety never stopping.

Please stop stressing over the Cancer it doesnt matter if u smoked or not. I believe strongly we are all born with Cancer cells and it decides when its going to come out. Some people who never smoked a day get Cancer. small children get it and they dont smoke. Some people smoked heavy and died from something other then Cancer. I figure life this way its quality not quantity. I came in oh natural I will go out same way. Thats why I have a DNR no machines or zapping for this girl lol.

If u dont want to go out dont. I dont feel like going anywhere and if I have to I come right home. I dont want to miserable in front off anyone. When this nagging headache goes away without pills then I will think about socializing, til then its me, my dog and the tv. We are great together and since I cant sleep much no one sees the circles under my eyes and the bags hell I need a porter just to keep them up lol

Cheer up my friend we are coming to the finish line hopefully and the side effects will be a thing of the past. Then we grow old smoke free yeah.

Do u know how we can read other posts other then seeing them in my hotmail account. Its hard switching back and forth to see who said what? Anyone out there know how to view other peoples posts. I dont see oops I just saw posts in white under healthunlocked never mind how embarrasing

[Hidden]

Awwe.... So innocent

[madametobacco49 in reply to Hidden]

yes-makes me sad--how so many of us got sucked in

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

I was about 13 when I started smoking, yes perhaps we were sucked in, but we just didnt know how bad they were for us did we smoking was the norm it was just the in thing to do at the time

Ha ha ha It was like in the 70s, gosh the flippin fashion changed about every week no longer had we got kitted out with the fashion, then it flippin changed again and we had to buy a load more stuff

It was the trend at the time, we cant blame ourselves, we were just following the majority I think I can talk for 100% of members on here, we all wish we had never started smoking !!

Ok, we have quit now or are trying to quit and just hoping it hasnt done too much damage to us eh

What we have to do now Madame, is let the young one's, the children know how bad it is for us, what it can do to us/them nip it in the bud as they say

Pete

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

I have 3 smoking daughters--my mom smoked,my dad--well everyone in my family---I have told them Im not going to ride them--because I kno how awful that is when you smoke and someone quits and pushes you---I say things about being able to breathe--I am at least an example it can be done--and here if they want advice.. However right now im trying to quit--and get thru the nickey ickeys---today just didn't kno what I wanted--well I know what my body wants but just couldn't relax--glad day is almost over--weeknds suck--I was totally immersed in the 70s--lived in a commune was an activist and became a druggie eventually --so had to fight that--then it was alcohol--this is the last straw fro me--Id like to see who I am--lol

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Gosh, madame, you have been their havnt you but, like smoking, I think the 70s was drugs as well, all the flower power, hippies and all that eh

You are a very courages Lady for beating all that and I know you WILL BEAT mr nic tooooo

Madame, I too would love to see who you are

Your getting there Madame and it wont be long before you find your real self

Take care now and remember NOPE, Not one Puff Ever

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

thank y ou for the words of encouragementd--Hard for me to disclose that--but stuff happens

[monky Administrator Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Yes i know Madame, if only we new then, what we know now eh

But, life is life and what happens happens all we can do now is try to make amend eh and try to enjoy life again FREEEEEEE

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

words of wisdom--thank you

[Andrew-S]

I def wish I hadn't started. I started quite late about 17 and only started because i knew it was wrong didn't get hooked for ages which made me think I could get away with it and not get addicted.

Glad I have stopped now and it is going ok I know I won't go back to it. I could not keep any tobacco in the house I would smoke it in a moment of weakness. But you have to do whatever works for you.

😀

[madametobacco49 in reply to Andrew-S]

its not like I have a pack of my favorite brand--I have 3 menthol cigarettes in the freezer---I don't even smoke menthol--stupid little security blanket--

[joeuk]

Hey me too ... 7 days 2day and im struggling .. cant sleep im very emotional (not me normally) its done tho i know i have beat it now .. i wake up and have a glass of water and sum chuddy instead of a cancer stick x

[madametobacco49]

I kno what you mean--I think part of the sense of sadness is because I kno it is over--I will be glad when my emotions stabilize---geez