I began my journey to quit killing myself ten days ago and flushed them killer fags down the toilet.
Two days went by and I found every excuse in the world why it would be better if I quit "later" like tomorrow or on the weekend or maybe after church on Sunday would be the best time to quit so I like a fool stuck a cig in my mouth and lit up.
Yes it felt soooo gooood and I was sooo relaxed and promised myself yes yes yes this Sunday after church I will quit for good.
But then I remembered a video I had seen about how Mr. Cig wants to be my best friend, how he misses the times we spent together enjoying a smoke, how he loves me and provides me comfort if I just inhale his soothing smoke.
That video was so similar to a video of the life of a heroin addict and those cravings they suffered and the excuses why they picked up again and again and again day in and day out year after year and then death.
I know Mr. Cig is a lying piece of shit that has one goal and one goal only and that is to steal my health, shorten my life and kill me.
But to be perfectly honest with myself I have known that for years but that was obviously not enough to deter me from smoking.
Then I thought.. I know all these things and continue to smoke so then I am assisting with my own death and that I know is called suicide. But did that stop me? Hell no.
Then ten days ago at age 62, I awoke from sleep feeling like I was not able to breath and was scared to death. That's it I swore I am through smoking and flushed them down the toilet but like I said above it only lasted two days before I gave in and lit up.
But my giving in to Mr. Cig lasted just two days and then I truly discovered my own personal battle to quit smoking was not just for me but also Abby, my little puppy.
You see, my children are all grown up and have families of their own and a couple years ago my wife brought this little fur ball home and within seconds I was in love.
Abby has brought me so much joy and has helped so much in replacing a void in my life.
She is constantly by my side, rides beside me in my car, curls up beside me as I watch TV and shares my cigarette smoke.
I don't think I need to go on much further with my story.
By God if I can,t quit smoking to help myself I will quit smoking so I do not kill my sweet lil Abby.
Its been seven days now and I am so up for this fight.