Tuesdays Jokes

[jillygirl]

A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."

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An elderly lady went to the doctor and asked his help in reviving her husband’s sex drive. “Why don’t you give him Viagra?” the doctor asks.

“Oh, no,” the woman replies. “He doesn't even take aspirin for a headache.”

“That’s not a problem,” the doctor tells her. “Just crush up the pill and slip it into his coffee. He’ll never even know.”

Several days later, the old woman returns to the doctor, and he asks her if his suggestions worked.

“Oh, Doctor!” she exclaims. “It was horrible! I did just as you said and as soon as he finished his coffee, he jumped up from the table, ripped off my clothes and took me right there on the table, we made love for a whole hour!!”

“And that was horrible?” the doctor asked, puzzled.

“Oh, the sex was wonderful!” the old woman exclaimed. “But I can never show my face in that coffee shop again!"

[glolin LONG TERM WINNER]

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY AN IRISH GIRL

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....

The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.

It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.

The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Ireland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

[jillygirl Administrator LONG TERM WINNER in reply to glolin]

Wonderful!