Medical PTSD

[kinseymm029]

i am a 23 year old woman who faced medical trauma and ptsd following a relatively invasive surgery.

It was a suspected ruptured ovarian cyst but was later diagnosed as an ectopic pregnancy that required surgical removal. Post surgery was quite excruciating, the pain was immense and terrifying.

Everything felt as if it were on fire and my emotions were more than in overdrive. I still have flashbacks of the doctors faces, the ones who made me feel incredibly small and fragile and the ones who were an aid in the distress.

Be mindful of the care you keep in the field of your body. I still have fear that the same event will happen and i hope to eventually overcome the fear of having to go through the emotional and physical pain i endured.

[LiveOnPurpose]

Hello kinseymm029...

I hope this message finds you well. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time. I have also lived through a similar surgery situation and experienced feelings of helplessness because of the way the medical staff handled me. With this said, I send you a big virtual hug to let you know that your feelings are heard and totally valid. And that it's normal to experience this emotions in the face of such a hard situation. You need time to grieve several things and to understand all the things that happened.

I will not share specific details of my experience because I dont want to trigger anyone but I am willing to share a bit of my story in the hope it can help somehow.

In 2017 I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks pregnant and that got complicated and needed surgery to avoid Sepsis. I was really scared. Really sad that I lost my pregnancy and alone. The way the staff handled me me in such a vulnerable moment really traumatized me.

This experience has lead me to discover things about myself that I didn't know about me. Like how strong I am for surviving this situation, also about the way I let others treat me and how to claim things that I need to get better and get what I need for my health. I have learned to look for doctors that make me feel reassured and safe . And I also need to learn how to live with the fact that sometimes I can't chose ideal scenarios in emergency situations.

I needed a long time to detangle and separate the different components of my grief. I was not only grieving the lost of my baby, it was also the medical violence. It was also my ex-husbands violence, it was also the economical distress that came after the insurance company didn't cover for the surgery and my ex-husband abandoned me right after in another country with the debt of the insurance. I also didn't have a job back then. It also unlocked a new fear, of loosing future pregnancies or never having children again. I was feeling completely overwhelmed with so much physical and emotional pain and had no idea what was going on. It was a blur. And I tried to tackle things in order. With so much going on it was hard to determine what to fix first . It's a It took time to set things straight and look at them under a different light , one where I actually took myself into consideration as well.

And with all of this , I just want to tell you time goes by, and you become wiser, and you eventually find the strenght, and that you may cry when you revisit these painful memories, or sometimes not. And when you allow yourself the space to feel things and analyze them that you can give it a new meaning and a new place in your life. We can not erase the things that have happened to us but we can learn to take things as they come our way. Allow yourself to feel it and move at your pace. You can do this, big big hug to you