Hi all, taking time out to catch up with you all. My son has told me he wants a proper Christmas lunch/supper (35 going on 10) so I am preparing veggies, gravy and roasting a chuck (not turkey as only 2 of us). It is something I did not want to do but it is strangely relaxing there is no time schedule as at other Christmases as son has said we will do the cooking after seeing M at the nursing home.
M is not doing well third week of fighting for breath against a chest infection that is unresponsive to antibiotics. They have started a palliative care pathway hyocene and sedatives via her syringe driver to try and relax her and give her some rest or at least reduce her near constant crying when not choking. She spends a lot of time unresponsive to questions choking and crying but then has a few hours of lucidity and smiles and tries to remove her tubes with a giggle.
The nursing home staff are very good and let me stay with her most of the day and evening but I am drained she recognises people but the choking spasms are tiring her out and causing her to lose even more weight.
She is scared but does not want to give up life to PSP but it is starting to win, her final battle is near but she is not going easy.
I pray for strength to support her and for her to come back to me for a few times more.
For those who can have an enjoyable Christmas Day for those in similar situations to me - hugs and prays. Tim