Residential or nursing home, uk

[Kbaker1]

My mum was diagnosed with PSP about 6 years ago, she 65. She lives in Norfolk, England. My dad was really struggling, caring for her. She recently went into a lovely residential care home (part social/ part private). Obviously, no one wants her there but it is the best place and I sleep happy knowing she is really well cared for. Everyone is lovely and the place is so clean. The big problem is it is NOT a nursing home. We chose this as there are a lot of residents there who mum can talk, well listen, with. Mums brain still functions and she needs stimulation.her body is broken, and slowly everything else is breaking but we wanted her to be with some likeminded people. Now the care home are worried they may not be able to keep her there as she will probably need nursing care. She chokes continually and doesn’t want a peg tube. She chokes without food and drink so that’s not the only cause. She needs hoisting and lots of help moving, she has recently required a lot more help to tolled and feed herself. Her talking is minimal. She is just about continent.i wanted to ask what constitutes ‘ nursing care’ in the UK. I’m a registered nurse myself and even I can’t work it out.! I think they are so scared of her choking and this is why they are saying she needs nursing, but I think she needs ‘normal’ care that other elderly people often need.does anyone have experience of this because ideally I want my mum to stay in her care home and not move to a nursing home-thanks everyone, this site really helps me through this unbearable journey,

Kerry x

[Dadshelper]

Does you mom still a doctor regularly, like every few months or so? I am not overly familiar with the UK healthcare system as I live in the US. Can a palliative care or hospice team go to to her and help manage her medical needs?

Ron

[doglington]

Thats a good question.

My husband was incontinent, couldn't speak, etc but when considering care he would have been needing a nursing home but when asking for CHC these problems are not considered nursing care.

A care home would probably not be able to provide the degree of care I gave him. I think its more the amount of time they need.

x

[Marie_14]

Kerry

She really needs a Nursing Home. The same thing happened to my husband. When he was unable to talk I really don't think they looked after him properly. They told me he needed a Nursing Home. I managed to get him a room in one or so I thought. However when I rang 2 days later to ask when he would be assessed I was told we shouldn't have been offered the room as it had been promised to someone else a week before.

I really don't believe that and neither did the CCG. They simply didn't want to care for him because he was at the stage where he couldn't do anything for himself. That night he aspirated. He was taken to hospital but died 3 weeks later. I was there everyday and every other night and the doctor hadn't got a clue!

My advice is start looking for a decent nursing home asap. Then she will get the medical care as well as general care she really needs.

Good luck.

Marie x

[Kbaker1 in reply to Marie_14]

Thanks marie

[Hidden]

Hi,

When we were looking for somewhere for my brother (part social/part private) the first one offered just happened to be a nursing home and on reflection it was the best one for John.

As PSP progresses a nursing home will be better equipped to help your loved one.

Try calling Social Services in your area, explain the situation and see if they can help.

Be strong and constant, they are busy people and it's easy to get pushed to the back of the queue.

I wish you luck.

Big hugs

Sue x

[steph-02]

I put myself in a nursing home for 3 weeks to give my wife a bit of respite. Al;though the home was wonderful I absolutely hated it This was because most of the residence consisted of demented old ladies. so i was really bored stiff, luckily I had a few books with me so I could catch up with my reading, T His was the second home I tried and so much better than the first one so think that i must and bear it. you see my wife is fed with looking after me and wants try it out for another month with a view of staying there full time.''

[kiwitaramerlin in reply to steph-02]

Hello steph-02

Can you ask to have a carer to come to help you at home instead of staying in a nursing home at the moment and your wife can have a reste a little bit for a few hours everyday.

[kiwitaramerlin]

Hi Kbaker1,

I do not really think a nursing home is for my husband or for your mum as you mum brain still fontion like my hasband, it does not mean if you are getting older you do not know anything. you mun knows what she wants just show her the place that you want her to go but if she does not want to go you must not do it. Can you find someone to come to help her in her care home to do the job for her even if the care home so scare to keep her there. If she is often shock you must find out what kind of food does she eat. she is old like everybody else she need a special soft food.

Good luck!