Looking for a listening ear and a virtual hug 😥

[Positive2022]

Evening all, I hope you amazing people are doing okay.

I feel like i'm cursed ☹️ does anyone feel like they have had complete mismanagement in care? I feel like i'm completely alone.

Fertility treatment - traumatic birth with postpartum haemorrhage and poorly healed episiotomy - very poor postnatal care- leading to PND and surgery to repair episiotomy site (cancelled twice) -partial expulsion of mirena coil (now removed) and really bleak picture painted at emergency gynae clinic the other week about my chance of having more children.

I had a call the week before last with my op date. This has given me a huge lift. However, the same phone call reported a potential problem. My op date would be the same week as my birth debrief. As these would be done in different locations my notes would likely be unavilable for surgery therefore I was given the choice or having one and the other being deferred. Given that I have been waiting for surgery since January and it has been cancelled twice, this was a clear priority for me. So I was told that my debrief would be rearranged and I would be called last week.

Well last week came and went. No letter or phone call so I called today only to be told that the person who arranges everything is off on annual leave and can't sort anything until Monday - the date of my debrief. By then, too late for my notes to be sent on for surgery so my op date would likely be cancelled for a third time. The person I spoke with said she has no idea what to do and would get someone to call me. No one did. Why oh why do these things keep happening? I feel crushed at the thought of things going wrong again and just feel so alone in the constant glitches in my 'recovery'. Perhaps I am just really unlucky but it just feels like a constant battle to get things done.

Through desperation, I have left a message with the HV who arranged the debrief as i'm hoping she will have a contact who can sort things for me.

I am socially isolating in preparation for surgery. Being stuck indoors with no social contact is hard enough, but i'm just feeling so low about everything and at the point of just giving up now.

I feel like I need a good cry tonight 😭

[Hidden]

Oh gosh what a nightmare. Can you ring the department your having the op with to see if they can get your notes over to them ASAP. Still astounds me (and I work in the NHS) that hospitals still rely on paper notes to transfer round all the departments xx

[Positive2022 in reply to Hidden]

I feel really low tonight about it all 😥 just a complete nightmare. I'm sure once i've had a good night sleep i'll dust myself off in the morning and feel a bit brighter so i'll try and chase things tomorrow 🤞

[Hidden in reply to Positive2022]

I don’t blame you to be honest seems one thing after another. Also thrown in corona doesn’t help the whole situation. Hope you get somewhere tomorrow xx

[Positive2022 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, fingers 🤞 just needed to get things off my chest

[jmg12345 in reply to Hidden]

Hey there I have been there with birth/baby troubles, keep your head up and don’t focus on it, I pray for an uplifted spirit for you poppy 149

[JLLWM]

It’s strange, I was literally going to come and write a post about feeling really down.

I’ve had a traumatic op last year (July) and been in pain ever since, they never updated my notes so on record I’ve never had an op, I was on antibiotics for 4 months after cause my body didn't like what had happened, but no one listened because they had no notes. I had injections to stop my ovary (I had one removed from op) from working and then when I came off the pill ready for my second op, I’ve fallen pregnant.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was told my chances were slim, so I’m over the moon but I’m not sure whos worse, the hospital I had op in or my midwife unit. I have been severely sick for 9 weeks and no one want’s to help me. I was given a 24 hour midwife number to call due to above issues and I was told ‘we only deal with women over 20 weeks’. The doctors keeps putting it down to my antidepressant (that I’m slowly coming off) but I feel like I’ve had the flu for 4 weeks. I’m stuck inside feeling like I am going crazy or I’m talking out my arse. I’m only 14 weeks but I’m already dreading the rest. I always thought I would struggle a little but I feel so down.

Sorry, thats a bit of a rant there. TLDR - It’s a funny time right now, if you need someone to talk to, theres a 26 year old girl (who might be going crazy) here to listen xxx

[Positive2022 in reply to JLLWM]

How awful for you, i'm so sorry you have gone through all of this 😥 have you spoken with your GP recently? If no help, maybe see another one? It's a complete nightmare isn't it with Covid. After my traumatic birth at ny post natal check, I was very anaemic due to the heamorrhage and feeling very low, high risk for PND especially having gone through the stress of fertility treatment. I asked about my haemorrhage and the doctor I saw just blanked me and said she couldn't find this in my notes, practically disputed that it happened. I changed GP's after that and things have been better on the whole but it's been one battle after another. 20 months on and i'm still trying to access the help and treatment I need. I am v lonely. Seeing friends and family sale through pregnancy and thoughtlessly messaging me about how well they are, pictures etc etc knowing full well what I have gone through and what is still to come. I don't think really 'get it', the impact all this has had psychologically. Very tearful this morning. Thank you so much for listening and I have everything crossed that things get better for you too ♥️

[XxjustmexX]

When I had my operation cancelled a few times and no one was getting back to me I got in touch with pals and they helped me and I actually got a call from the hospital a few days later. I would try getting intouch with them. Sorry to hear what a nightmare your having hope you get sorted soon ❤️ xx

[Positive2022 in reply to XxjustmexX]

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I called PALS last time after the cancellations of my surgery. I did get a call but by that time I already had another date booked. Then BOOM Covid hit. Zero communication since, even though I went through PALS. I don't think the powers that be really understand the psychological effect all this all has and i'm so scared it's all going to go wrong again. I'm at the point of saying enough is enough if it gets cancelled a third time. Maybe accessing some counselling if and when the service reoopens to get some closure and acceptance on things xxx

[Hidden]

I’m sorry you’re having such an awful time of it. It’s also crazy you’re having to do the joined your thinking for the professionals. I’d consider contacting PALS at the hospital and explaining all the things that are happening to them, it’s their job to sort out mismanagement and they should be able to find out who to contact for you x

[Positive2022 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for taking the time to respond. It's the poor communicationn that really gets me. I'm on it today... Just feeling so frustrated with everything.

[Hidden in reply to Positive2022]

Totally understandable x