Lockdown and Loneliness : I thought to... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Lockdown and Loneliness

Roukaya profile image
28 Replies

I thought to write a post.

I think the second lockdown will heighten mental health issues abs anxiety amongst so many as a result of this new measure .

I realise that I have suffered from mental health issues for years and it has been aggravated by having no one but my Mother who in her elderly years needs constant support and encouragement.

Very much a child

I expect I am learning to deal with my own mental state and realisation that if I truly apply myself I can see a way ahead provided I pass the exams and find a years work experience in a legal practice .

I realise as I watched a film yesterday that there is so much more to life than passing an exam and it us how best we make of our life circumstances and the overall journey of life and its meaning

Our religion teaches us to be patient in adversity but I find the loneliness and isolation. crippling as one of my Aunties called me an Orphan which I found deeply hurtful .

But important to look at the big picture and give gratitude for what we have instead of focussing on what is clearly missing .

To take Courage and Strength in these challenging times

28 Replies

Good morning you have a wise positive attitude, yes it's terrible on mental health especially the lonely who can't even get out but it's also causing lots of anxiety, friction with married people and even divorces (and so they will possibly end up alone and lonely)!who are now having to spend so much time together a lot have what's called men's caves in the garden sometimes we need finds ways to still have time to ourselves, I find I like company but also need time to myself I hope you have a good day x🌟x

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

I hope you are well

I have lived alone for many years but would always meet with Mum

But it would seem that the Lock Down is causing enforced separation which can lead to being demoralised and depressed

I know the signs but never easy

I do not think I am wise , just lessons of life as I am 51

The Asian culture puts so much pressure for us to be married by a certain age and to be married

I fall short of this but I realise we are all very different individuals with our own unique path of life

I thank you for your reply and I hope you continue to keep well

in reply to Roukaya

Thank you I will reply later when I have time X

in reply to

Hello do you not have any friends or family you get on with you must see your doctor if you feel you can't cope and they will offer you councelling how about a pet you can try hypnosis c d get out as much as you can the lockdown isn't forever and there's a vaccine on the way, I had to isolate for my mam for 2 weeks could only see her at bottom garden I had to live on my own with my cat in a house that gave me PTSD it's just patience I also do meditaion just keep busy and time will fly by take care x🌟x

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

I would like to explain that I really do not have any friends or family in U.K.

I miss my Mother greatly and I have faced worrying news today

I expect if I did have friends and family I would not be seeking support from this site

in reply to Roukaya

Well can't you talk to her on the phone

in reply to Roukaya

What is your worrying news

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Thank you for listening

I hope you are keeping well

I have a flat which I rent out and this is my main income

I was informed the tenant is ill with the virus and this is what worries me

I have asked the managing agent to contact the tenant by the end of the week to see how she is.

You are right , I can always talk to Mum on the phone even though she complains about her illness of Sinusitis

Thank you for listening

in reply to Roukaya

Your tenant will most likely recover and it isn't a worry regarding income as there are plenty of people needing homes, I would absorb yourself in studying exercise will lift your mood I put lively music on and exercise dance in the house if the weather's so bad just foccus on that this won't be for much longer I have to get my cat in now I hope you sleep well x🌟x

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Thank you for your advice

I agree with your advice and the steps I should take to enhance my mood

Very kind words

Thank you

Hi Roukaya, I think that unfortunately you are right about an impact on mental wellbeing during the second lockdown. Most humans will tolerate quite a lot before they crumble but there comes a point when many can't sustain the energy needed to stay positive. This is a temporary situation, but temporary is a subjective word. It will last for as long as it lasts, and that's all we can say about it. We don't want it. We don't like it. But we have it and actually we get to choose as individuals how we decide to deal with it.

I think that sometimes we do choose to fall to pieces. I know I do anyway, but I've learned to guard against that as much as possible, using the strategy of remaining in the current moment as much as I possibly can.

It's useful to learn to be accepting. Accepting of the things we don't like. Boredom, loneliness and also fear. Sometimes, to sit and examine them as we are feeling them, makes us understand them better and makes us able to tolerate them for at least some of the time. We constantly want things to feel good, but life's not like that. It's a series of peaks and troughs.

You have learned a lot about the relationship you have with your mum, but maybe you are still a little bit apt to let cruel words, like those of your aunt upset you a little too much. They are only words, and often spoken through spite, or envy. The best way to deal with them is not to react. It takes the sting away from the words and the person who spoke them. What they want is a reaction. Why give them one? And if in return you can learn to smile and forgive, it completely neutralises them. (I'm no angel. It took me many years to learn that this is the case!)

You are doing fine and we are here as a community for you to lean on as we go into the second lockdown. You can do it!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Very kind words of support and acceptance is key

Very true

I have learnt to accept where I am in life and where I need to go

Having courage and strength to see beyond limitations is also an important element of resilience

My Mother I can see her many times like a fiercely independent little child 👶

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

You are so right Roukaya, we all have to dig deep and find the courage and strength in these challenging times. I think you are very right on focusing on what we have at the moment and the things we are missing, we will get them back at some point. You have a very positive attitude and this is half the battle. 😊👍🌸

in reply to bobbybobb

I decided myself it was better for me to make the best of what's available rather than worry about what isn't at present.

How's Bobby and Pip? Baby is well and yesterday on the video call with my sister in law she got the last word in with a meow to say bye bye!

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to

They are all fine, Pip had his nails clipped this week. 👍😊👍

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Good evening

I hope you are well

I think I am beginning to feel the loneliness and I seem to have started with slight stomach pains

I think it is stress at the prospect of the isolation

Very hard

I suppose like so many who are alone I will have to wait and see as to when I will be able to visit Mum

The lockdown could go beyond 2nd Dec

I suppose I knew I was going I would feel better

At the same time just as well I did not book to go in December given the Lockdown

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Hi Roukaya,

Yes, you are right, a second lockdown is going to increase the mental strain on us all, but especially those with existing mental fragility.

I'm finding it tough, and I'm relatively robust nowadays, mentally speaking, although it hasn't always been so. People with existing conditions will be finding it really distressing. It is hard when you have issues, then somebody else leans on you, it just increases the strain.

I think you are doing amazingly well, being determined to get ahead and pursue your dream. Yes, there is more to life than exams, but they are the means to the end you want to achieve. once that is done, you can begin to gather the fruits of your labours.

Don't feel alone, we are always here if you want to talk, and your aunt is unkind saying things like that. You have been a Dutiful daughter, and it is not your fault that things have not worked out as you may have wished.

Ignore your aunt, and continue to limit your time on call with your mother, You cannot be all things and everywhere. Just concentrate on being the best person you can be.

Cheers, Midori

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Midori

Good evening

I hope you are well

Thank you for your kind understanding

I am quite sad at the prospect of spending Christmas alone

But how many of us will be spending Christmas alone

I think I will need to use this time to study for the resit and also find the courage to speak to the owner of the new legal practice and see if they could consider me for a voluntary placement

It is very observant of you to say that my mental health is being impacted by my Mother

I only have my Mum so I worry about Mum but we are both very much alone living far apart from each other

But Mum can be very supportive also volatile in her temperament

I thank you for saying I have tenacity but choice do I face

I only hope that eventually I can find a way forward and a meaning to my life

I hope you are keeping well

You also sound like a very strong and independent lady

I hope you and your son continue to keep well

Thank you for saying that the members of this site will be of support

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Thanks for your reply

Very helpful and thoughtful

Hi Roukaya,

I think you are wise too. You are doing good work because you are caring for your mother. I just feel it. I hope you have a good day and things get better soon for everyone too. Thanks for sharing.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good evening

I hope you are well

The only reason why I talk on this site is because the members are kind and supportive

I never expected to be so alone but this is the hand that has been dealt and I have no choice but to accept this

I hope you keep well

in reply to Roukaya

ok

marsdream profile image
marsdream

I think that it is good to be self aware as you are. Have you tried to integrate yourself with positive family member and friends? Don't give up on that. As you reflect on life think about the beauty of the outdoors and how getting out into nature can change your outlook. In the bible there is a book of Psalms. Psalms 19:1 says "The heavens declare the glory of God and the skies proclaim the work of His hands." Find your joy in Him!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to marsdream

Good evening

Thank you for being kind enough to answer my post

I would like to explain I am totally on my own in UK

There is no one for me except my Mother who lives away from me

I wish I had friends and family but this is why this horrible Aunt said I might as well be an Orphan

I hope you are keeping well

I agree the Almighty always has a plan for us but as I am a Muslim living on her own I find live very difficult to cope due to the isolation

I hope you are well

marsdream profile image
marsdream in reply to Roukaya

Roukaya

I am praying for you and asking God for you to find at least one good friend that can be there for you in the UK. I prayed to God for a friend, and He provided me with one. She and I have been the best friends for 30 years. With God all things are possible. I do hope that you get that legal position that you want. It sounds exciting.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to marsdream

Very interesting for you to say with all things God can act

Today not such a good day

I have a rental property and the tenant taken I’ll with Covid

It is my only source of income and I am very worried .

Secondly on my way back from the Dentist I went to buy some Indian snacks and the owner of the snack bar told me in his daughter is working in a firm I was interviewed for

But this makes me sad and it the will of God

Mia898 profile image
Mia898

As I just started living on my own with lock down going back to my parents I know bad but at least people around.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Mia898

You are fortunate to be able to go to your parents

My Mother had asked me to go over for Christmas but I said I would rather visit in January

I honestly do not know if I should have gone but I episode had been worried about my home if I went away over Christmas

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