Life hasn't really changed from where it was when I first posted. I'm really lonely in a way that is causing me a lot of problems.
I'd signed up for participating in a virtual running festival at the weekend and didn't even log into it.
This morning I'm meant to be starting a 100km challenge to be completed by next Sunday. My alarm went off an hour ago and I'm still laying in bed, trying to find the motivation to even get up and shower.
I've not had a single call or message from my friends in the running community over the weekend and I feel like I'd be a needy specimen if I contacted anyone just to feel connected.
Sorry - just needed to share how I'm feeling with SOMEONE.
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SEStu
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Hi I think there’s lots of us who are feeling like you me being one I clean I potter but sometimes don’t even have the motivation to do that ! Hope you have a better day do you walk makes you feel better in the fresh air I’ve noticed people smile or say hello and that’s nice
Don't be sorry SEStu. These feelings are real! Do you think you might be setting yourself challenges that are too much for you to take on, feeling as you do at the moment. Perhaps set one challenge at a time and make it a small one, like getting out of bed by, say, 8am? And reward yourself in any small way that pleases you, on days when you find you can do it!
I don't think, for one minute, that your friends would see you as needy if you call them. It becomes a habit for people not to contact each other if neither will pick up the phone. But I'd also say, think about whether these people really are your true friends, if they don't bother ever to get in touch. The other thing is that they need to know if you are struggling. And if you don't feel you can share that with them then they are only acquaintances and not true friends.
I think you do need company but I do feel that you might also be clinically depressed,
and I think that when things have got this bad, (and not being able to get up is a classic symptom), you need proper professional help. Please call your GP for help.
Loneliness and depression are killers. There's firm evidence for that. If you are too low to talk to anyone else, please call the Samaritans. They won't think you are needy either. They are a wonderful organisation and can listen non-judgmentally. They have helped hundreds of thousands of people, myself included in the past.
Call 116 123, or if you think you can't talk it through, you can email jo@samaritans.org (this has a 24 hour response time).
Talk to someone. Anyone. Don't be too proud to get help and to explain how you are feeling.
Wishing you well, and please come and let us know how you are feeling at any time. We are definitely here for you.🙏
We are all here to listen. It's good you are reaching out and talking. Callendersgal has offered you some excellent advice. You can get involved with the Post's on here also and connect and be part of the community. We are here everyday, remember that.👍🌻
Hi. Just wanted to say I can understand a bit of how you are feeling. Please accept a virtual hug from me.
Something I find really hard - and I wonder if you do too - is that I always have to make the effort to try and reach out to others. I would just love it if anyone reached out to me without me having to initiate things.
Having said that, I don't really have any meaningful connections with anyone anyway.
I know what you mean with motivation. I don't have any. I actually came on the site today because I feel so alone and am finding the thought of doing stuff daunting.
I guess I haven't helped much, but I just want to say that you are not alone in this. 🙄🌸
That is exactly how I feel. I finally heard from a friend at 0830 this morning - the previous contact was at 9 o'clock Friday.
When you have a lot of shit going on in your life, 3 days left on your own is a mighty long time. And I've spent so much of my life supporting everyone else.
Once I've helped them get on track, off they go with a merry wave over their shoulder. Do they ever return the favour? At best, rarely.
Your response certainly helps and now you know you aren't alone.
Let's link arms (socially distanced, obvs) take a deep breath and step forward into the day ahead.
I contacted Age UK a few years ago, (a good web site) when I had to retire early (ill health) and thought I could become a telephone volunteer. They have a service where they have volunteers who do weekly short telephone calls, to people who are very lonely. They could not take me on as a volunteer, as too many people already on their waiting list to be properly checked. The service goes through a central switch board, so no one find out the other's telephone number. When they had discussed why I wanted to do this, they said I qualified to receive the calls!! So for some time now I have received weekly calls from a charming young man. I was given a male caller, rather than female, because my main interests on the list I filled out for them, were cricket and rugby 7's. This has made a big difference to my housebound life. I do not think age matters with them, it is need.
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Head is still pounding
So unfit and had lost all motivation to change things.
I just Cant find peace in my mind