Hermes 123. I am exhausted at eighty two years old and a carer for my stroke victim wife, it seems like I am n the go seven days a week, I suffer from long term back pain, last week end I ended up in A&E in the early hours of the morning, yes it was trapped sciatic nerve all down my left side, what could they do for me? virtually nothing, gave me a syringe of Morphine and sent me home, we have our grown up son working from home video conferences, so that means we have to be as quiet as possible, he helps out when he can, such as cooking the evening meals. I use to belong to a local Age Uk that gave me a release, now that is all gone, I try to get on with art, wire work or any thing I can drop and pick up again. My GP. is very good keeps in touch by phone as I am a carer, we talk though my pain situation and the none sleep situation, he up my Gabapentin to maximum I am aloud, in total 24. pain killers a day yes they have given me back my sleep but done nothing for the low back and hip pain, when will I get access for treatment, how long is a piece string I already had to assessments cancel? but I am ment to get on with life and think of all those nice things I could be getting on with, pull the other leg. Hermes 123.
HOME ALONE! BUT NOT SUCH ALONE ? - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
HOME ALONE! BUT NOT SUCH ALONE ?
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I feel for you. I live alone, all I have to concern me is that I am lonely. Hang in there and belie it will get better. Be still for a while and calm your thoughts, and believe there is a reason for all and believe you will get through this trial. Stay safe.
Lindahj203
Hermes123 here, I never believe I would have such a response in such a short while, it is great such good people about, take care Hermes.
Hi there, I really feel for your situation. everything has closed down at the moment and we are left wondering when the appointment situation or support situation is going to pick back up again. The truth is, there are no answers at the moment and frustration is going to be rife. It is hard work being a carer and it must be very difficult when you are in a lot of pain yourself. I'm sure you must do an amazing job for your wife and she must be so glad to have such a caring and loving husband. It's good you son is on hand also. Keep your GP updated with any problems you and your wife are having so he can keep a record. Then, when things are up and running again he may get your problems dealt with quickly. Remember, we are also here to help and support each other. xx
Hey bobbybobb The thing a lot of things people do not take on board about help when offered and it's turned down, we are not all born the same, they say opposites attract well it must be true in our case! I am an out going person can mix with any body, my wife is a very private person, immediate family and that is it all she is concern about is her own house and the wild birds that come to feed. After she had her stoke and came home, I notice she was dragging one of her feet, so I got in touch with a physio on home visit, she came to our house they spoke about the situation and the with flatly refused. Physio said its her right to refuse I also spoke to our G.P. who knows her very well and he said the same thing, this is something never spoken about, but I certain the wife cannot be the only private person. Hermes.
Hi, yes people do have the right to refuse. I was thinking more in terms if you where a member of the national carer's association. Who offer guidance and support to carers because they appreciate what a difficult job it can be at times. So support for you .They can be a very useful resource for carer's. We all have different personalities, that's what makes the world go round. Outgoing, like yourself and some very private people like your wife. I probably fall into the outgoing category, I think. xx
Hello Hermes
Can the GP not arrange for Welfare to come and see you several times a week, you need help also in your home your Son needs to understand you are needing to live in the House if you need the radio/ television there is no reason you cannot have it on.
Does your Son live with you are is the problem He cannot work at His address ?
Have you had an assessment for being a carer, the money you get for that would open up to getting someone in to do housework or look after you both.
You mention trapping your Sciatic Nerve, Have you discussed the visit to hospital to your GP. It may need to be treated on a regular basis so you need assistance, they are still running District Nurses and Social Workers.
In our GP Surgery, we have been given an address of several charities etc set up locally who can pick up your medications, do your shopping or any other jobs you need assistance to do.
How is your health are you ok ??
How is your Son
BOB
borderrieever
Our Son is a part owner of our property so he has certain rights, these are never in question, as for my self I am a registered carer I have a badge to show for my wife's needs, its more a question what I acceptable to her, I cannot force against her will. Medications are delivered another good service we depend on, our local chemist. I have never received so many emails, to which I really appreciate. Good Luck. Hermes.
As long as you are being looked after and all needs are being met.
We are living in a time where no-one would expect a problem like this to burst our bubble. I am beginning to feel we are learning once more, and the process and expectations are so much in the air.
Several months ago I had problems with a Sciatic nerve on my right hand side, it took some time to cool down the pain sometimes just rest will help out you could try Hot Compresses around the hip that seemed to help me
BOB
Hi borderriever
Rest now that is a magic word, sounds easy to say but in practice I am on the go from 7/30. am till 9/30. pm. with a little nap time when I can fit it in, not wanting to sound a know all, but when ne has suffered over fifty years in pain there is not much one has not picked up on self help and still keeping one's eye open for new and emerging information, the last thing I pick up over a couple of months ago was Hemp Cream, it helps no end, but it doesn't stop a funny walk. All the best Hermes.
Yes Hermes, I am sixty nine now and have been in Chronic pain now for forty years or so. Have you tried a Tens machine, they can help, even a pain pen can help as well
I had to attend Pain Clinic thirty years ago, that helped me, I learned a great deal and they sent me on quite a few courses and alternate treatments.
If you have a good Doctor see if He will send you to clinic especially if the pain is persistent
Try Body Clock for TENS and EMS, OR PAIN PENS. even if your problem clears you can keep the machine and use it on other painful conditions
BOB
Hi Hermes123
I really feel for you and admire what you are doing.
We are certainly in uncertain times but can only do what we can do. I'm glad your son lives with you but can understand how difficult it must be to have to stay quiet, I'm glad he helps out where he can.
I'm so sorry to hear the pain your in and pleased you have a good GP.
We are here to listen and hope that the replies will give you some comfort.
You are definitely one of the heroes of our time, and I for one have added you to the applause list for your caring, loving, and devotion to your wife. 👏👏👏👏👏. All our thoughts 💭 prayers 🙏 and best wishes are with you.
Chrissie 💕
Its upsetting though when you have psyched yourself up for an appointment only to be told at the last minute that it has been put off to some unknown date in the future and there's not a thing you can do about it either!
Hi Hermes123,
It's so draining isn't it, being in constant pain and having to be your wife's carer too? As Mydexter says, it's one of the hardest things we ever have to do, caring for someone else. And it's difficult when that person sometimes doesn't want to be helped and doesn't see what it might be doing to their carer.
It's a difficult time to try to resolve your own problem. It sounds as if pain relief is going to be your only help and also as though you are already taking the maximum amount possible.
I can sense your frustration at your own situation too, and the situation we are all in at the moment. It's very trying, but it is only temporary, and eventually daily life will be restored. And then maybe you can review what measures are in place to help you both and protect your wife, and investigate any other help measures there may be that could be put in place.
It does sound as if your son could be doing a little more for you both. It can be a tricky situation, but maybe he could be encouraged to give a little more support, especially at the moment. Sometimes we are reluctant to ask, but when we do, that help is forthcoming.
There is a HealthUnlocked community especially for Carers, which I am involved with myself. It's a little quiet there at the moment as most people are busy worrying about the current crisis, but why not give that a look too. I'll put the link at the bottom of this reply. We have members with a wealth of understanding and practical advice for almost every Caring situation. Very best wishes to you both and her's hoping you'll feeling a little better soon.
Here's that link to the Care Community.
healthunlocked.com/care-com...
Callendersgal
Thank you for your words of wisdom, I will look at your link, I would like to thank HealthUnlocked, never have I had such a response to a comment that I have made, it has overwhelmed me. Thank you to all. Hermes.
Hello Hermes,
I do feel for you and all the constraints that you currently face. Two thoughts come to mind:
1. Medical cannabis. I know that there are obstacles to getting it and that buying it through private specialists is expensive. It does give many people with chronic and acute pain relief that other more dangerous drugs cannot.
2. Your outgoing nature is being stifled and that can be very hard in the long term. Once it becomes possible to go out, could you persuade your wife to go with you to a volunteer activity where you would ge ehe satisfaction of being with others, while you wife would get ehe satisfaction of doing something for others?
You clearly have a great attitude. But that does not mean you should test it by accepting the status quo. Couple that great attitude with some "possibility thinking" and perhaps not immediately, but over the next months new opportunities for positive change will revel themselves.
All the best,
Taia
Jerry, Good Morning,
It is so difficult for others to understand, I'm no way at the top of the heap as it were! I think of all those Cancer patients who have there treatment cancelled, each thinks of one's own need! rightly or wrongly. so far today medication given, breakfast done cleared and wash up, wife's bed strip ready to be washed, she will take care of that, I'm taking a break before making my bed. Did not sleep so well last night? wonder if the extra Gabapentin is wearing off already. Hermes. You take care Jerry.
Really feel for you in your very difficult situation. A couple of ideas I have which may or may not be helpful but here goes.
Can you discuss with your GP whether a morphine patch could be prescribed for you? I have spinal stenosis and tried different painkillers and am on Gabapentine but still in a lot of pain. GP recently prescribed morphine patches, changed weekly and they are really helping me. I know we’re all different but may be worth asking.
The other thing is when we are allowed out, which I’m afraid may be some time for us oldies, if your wife won’t go to anything to mix with others Age Uk and other people I believe do a service where they would come and sit with your wife, if your son is unable to do this, for an hour or even more each week so you could get out on your own for a breather.
Re having to be quiet as your son is working does he use headphones as that might help. Can he be in another room so people in the video conferencing can’t hear you? My parents used headphones for the TV as they were deaf but it mutes the sound in the room so you could watch TV and not be heard.
Wishing you well
Cant think of anything to say that wouldnt sound patronising or unsympathetic but ... just had to add a comment .. no words, sorry .. xx
Hi Hermes,
So sorry to here of your pain and lack of sleep. I too suffer from nerve pain in my hip due to lower back problems. My niece told me about Amitriptyline, which at a low dose helps to ease this type of nerve pain. I contacted my GP and he prescribed it for me. I must say, that since taking it my nerve pain is greatly improved and I am getting a better nights sleep.
I hope it may be of help to you as we can all cope a little better if we can get a good night's sleep.
Take care and stay safe.
Hello Dianeduck
I have just woken from a nap feel so much better for that, its a case of grab one when I can.
I have tried Amitriptyline in the past it did not agree with me. time before last when my GP. was looking for something else to give, said you have raided my medication armoury over the years, I no longer know what to give you. I hope you can get some relief too. Hermes
Hi Hermes
That's such a shame. I guess everyone is different and what works for one won't work for someone else. I do hope you find something to help and begin to feel better soon. You have so much to cope with. Make sure you take time to rest and take care of yourself too.
Diane Duck x
Well done Hermes at 82 you are doing a brilliant job, but sadly my remarks wont help your pain. It is a terrible situation this so called care in the community which has nothing to do with the coronavirus crisis. If anyone has someone out of the family living with them then they appear on the computers as having family support. But as you say what about medical and social care support in time of crisis. Painkillers are not the be all to every situation. I need an operation but it is cancelled . You need assessments and they are cancelled. It seems over 70 and you go to bottom of the list for care no matter what your circumstances are or least ways thats how it comes across. You have my full empathy , take care both this is my virtual hug & xx
Hello katieoxo60
Nice to hear from you once again, words of wisdom crack the nut right on the head, brilliant comment thank you so much and a virtual Hug to you, Hermes.
Hello Hermes123
I’m so sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I have been under pain management for years with my sciatica. At your assessment they will probably tell you that Pilates or yoga will help. I know you are exhausted and that’s the last thing you want to hear but this is about gentle stretching. It’s important to keep it gentle and not to push through the pain. You can do some of the exercises sat in your armchair. I suspect that the gabapentine is also contributing to your exhaustion. I can’t take it I felt like I had downed a couple of bottles of wine just on a low dose so I take my hat off to you on a full dose. Have a look online and see if you can find some gentle stretches to help your back. I also use a tens machine and find that helps. You are however doing a wonderful job looking after your wife. Just remember to take some time for yourself too so that you both can keep well. X
Mooka
I have tried all you have suggested over the years including the rack as a past physiotherapy, my list is endless travelled miles for private treatment when I was working I had the medical corsets with the steel trips in the back, was not easy to bend in one of those, good for your figure though. Ha ha. Hermes.
Have you tried looking online for exercises for sciatic pain. My daughter has this at moment and her doctor got her an appointment via video link to talk to a physio. She Also does some exercises from the internet. She also finds that a hot water bottle helps. Hope this helps.
Hi Syvia22.
I have a medical Infrared heat lamp given to me many years ago, its been a life saver on many occasions, also a electric hot water bottle they are amazing, exercises I have to follow a pain Consultant with very light and gentle exercises for my spine problems. Thank you Hermes
Hi there Hermes123,
I don’t have much to offer in terms of advice, but I did just want to send you a big hug. You’re doing an amazing thing for your wife and I’m glad your son is there for some support.
But, I do understand your frustration - this lockdown is affecting the fabric of our lives, isn’t it? There are so few clinics running just now, because so many of them are run from acute hospitals (this is why we should never have centralised NHS care....the cottage hospital and satellite clinic set-up worked so much better and would allow so many people to access other services just now). I think the lack of contact with other people is so hard to bear - I really feel for you. We’re all hear to chat and keep each other company, encouraging other when we can.
Big hugs. X
weegmack
Thank you for your comments, very comforting I agree with your comment about Satellite Hospitals, not just for this crisis but all future crisis! We never know what is a round the corner. Hermes.
Sorry to hear this Hermes123 you've got a lot on looking after your wife without a bad back. Have you tried heat pads? You can get ones that stick to your clothes and last 12 hours I find them very good. Hope you get your appointment soon
Hello Hermes123. I'm sorry to hear about your difficult situation. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.
You say your wife has had a stroke, but how badly is she affected. Is she mobile. Is she able to hold conversations, do any hobbies, read, listen to music, help with jobs around the house, or is she bedridden?My husband is 81 with dementia, copd, and is virtually immobile. I am almost 78, have fibromyalgia, degeneration of spine, spondylosis, hypothyroidism, chronic pain, macular degeneration, but am classed as his carer and am basically running the home, other than my youngest daughter shopping for us. He does help out with little jobs, washing pots, but it is not easy. My eldest daughter's mother in law has had two strokes, lives alone and is registered blind, and her son has also had a stroke. We are all doing the best we can, and if things get really bad, we can at least have a chat to friends on here and know we are not alone.Take care.
Hang in there, my brother! You are doing God's work! Praying that you and family will soon find better health and more peace! Pain is so unforgiving; I will be praying for you!
Life is harsh. Hope you are feeling better now.
The global blanket lock down is a huge mistake. We can end the lock down so healthy individuals can go back to work (for the benefit of the vulnerable population as well), with precautions of course.
* wear cloth face masks (glasses in certain circumstances)
* hand hygiene with soap and sanitizer
* shops and offices with good system in place
* physical distancing
* voluntary lock down for the vulnerable population
The reason that the infection rate in the West has been ridiculously high is that the wrongful advice has been given. So many lives have been needlessly lost. If everyone were considerate and applied common sense and wore masks (that would be a double protection, think about the logic), there would be no need for blanket lock down really. How many more lives have been ruined around the World for this wrongful advice ?
Wearing a mask is just a small price to pay. You can make a mask at home.
I agree with some of your points, but there’s only one mask that actually works (though I can’t remember the name of it). X
You said "there’s only one mask that actually works" sigh ... it's just misinformation the public was being fed. Think about the logic. BTW, viruses don't have legs to crawl through the sides of masks. In fact, viruses are unable to thrive well outside a host without help.
I can understand their original fear about people hoarding disposable masks like they have hoarded toilet rolls, but they could have told people to make washable masks at home instead of spreading lies that caused so many deaths, not to mention the lock down dire consequences.
If everyone wears mask (for two-way double protection) when they are with others (especially the vulnerable population like in care homes), the death rate in the West wouldn't be so horrendous, Why do you think there are thousands of deaths in New York yet in Hong Kong there were only 4 even when there was no blanket lock down.
The *experts* also claim that people who have a mask on or make-up on touch their faces more often which is also untrue. Think about it, if you have make up on, you'll be less likely to want to smudge your makeup !
Having said that, they did get one thing right, hand hygiene is also very important.
Not wearing masks and lock down are the worst mistakes to cause this morbid pandemic crisis.
PS Even though there are more politicians coming out to ask people to wear masks now, they refuse to admit their previous wrongful advice by saying wearing masks is just to protect others in order to make them look not at fault. This is terrible, now more (healthy or otherwise) people are too scared to wear masks because of the stigma. They think if I wear a mask others will think I'm a walking virus. Also, now selfish people wouldn't bother to wear a mask, they have no reason to.
Please, encourage everyone to apply common sense instead of listening to and waiting for politicians or experts to rescue you. They might be good at public speaking, they don't know more than you do. If they did, I'm sure politicians like our PM wouldn't have caught the virus in the first place. He was just lucky that he had been a priority at the intensive care. He doesn't have to care about his own finances due to the lock down for as long as forever as he would still get paid regardless.
Most people make the grave mistake of thinking that their long term health is the responsibility of the authorities. The hard fact is that nobody cares about your own health more than yourself ! So take these simple precautions to protect yourselves.
While it is true that wearing masks can prevent spreading, it can also help protect you! Think about this scenario: you are chatting to an infected person, do you think you'd be better protected to have a mask on or not? One doesn't need to be a genius to work that out! So why let the "experts" to mess with your intellect?
It goes without saying that supermarket staff and chefs who prepare food for others should wear masks, hairdressers should too, most importantly if you are approaching vulnerable people e.g. at a care home. If the politicians are capable of offering effective advice, the blanket lock down will be totally unnecessary. The dire consequences of blanket lock down is not just about money.
Not only can you make your own masks, you can order online some cool goggles that look like glasses. With common sense, you can choose the PPE that suit your personal needs without affecting hospital supplies.
Take care, protect yourselves and stay safe ! Speak up to end this pandemic madness.
Hi Superhealer,
It all comes down to common sense, my GP. Once told me nobody knows their better than themselves ! he is quiet right too. Hermes.
Hi weegmack
I do wear a face mask with changeable filters and disposable gloves but I try when possible to have things delivered, the first three weeks were a night mare trying to get a delivery slot, but things seem to sorted them self out now. Hermes.
Hermes123 ! I would like to say a very grateful thankyou to all that responded to pass a comment, in life as a carer at the age of 82. But every day is an on going saga, made easier by your help and support. Thank you one and all. Hermes.😇😇😇
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Coping with Easter alone
Ok, I might have my own line in socks, but Charlie has her own Winery !