Its ok not to be ok: I've had a few... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Its ok not to be ok

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I've had a few difficult weeks lately,and usually i pull myself together and get my mojo back,but its not so easy in these uncertain times and we cant always be on top form,and i do beat myself up about it because normally i am a doer.

I have had a huge amount of paperwork to deal with,and its things only i can do,i cannot delegate things of a personal nature,and i am not au fait with legal jargon but i've managed rather well all things considered.

And one thing i have been struggling with is my lack of sleep,for last night i did'nt doze off until 4am and then was up again at 6am.

My mental health doctor has tried out various medications but they either give me terrible nightmares or huge weight gain,or both.

Sleep has always eluded me and i am now feeling maybe its better to be as i've always been rather than take prescribed meds and i really dont like to be dependant on anything,and i think i am one of these people who can get by on 4 hours sleep.

12 Replies

Hi. Sorry to hear of your difficulties. I was wondering if you had tried relaxation/hypnosis recordings? I tried them after a staff member at my local Headway brain injury group recommended them. He is a qualified psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. He explained how our brainwaves are different if we relax just before we try to sleep. I can recommend Caroline McCready's channel on YouTube. There are lots of gentle breathing exercises on there and a couple for sleep. Or just search for 'sleep hypnosis ' or 'relaxation for sleep,' and try a few out. This is a very short and simple one:

They can't do any harm. Also, if you do try these, once you have picked one, don't give up if it doesn't work immediately, keep trying for at least a week. I have found that my quality of sleep is much better when I am relaxed just before sleeping. Good luck! 🙂🌸

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Hidden in reply to Marnie22

Hi Marnie I'll try yours tonight I'm going to do Paul mackenna sleep when sort cd player I used to do his bit it broke lately it's too easy to open a bottle wine I need to get a grip went to my house past couple days pixies been distressed he wanted to stay I was only sorting garden then went back to mam's he's detecting my mood I can't get the bad feelings I had out my mind when im at my house Im set in my head to move back 28th Feb I will have to do c d when there and leave bank card at mam's or I'll be across to the shop across road for alcohol don't think there's a cute for PTSD I still love my garden it's got park at back of it sorry for moan I think I'm a bit depressed xxx secrets I have PMd you 😊

Hi secrets22, I completely agree that it's better to just surrender to your lack of sleep at night and accept it. I always think it's much worse if you fight the feeling of being wide awake. I've done almost anything that isn't noisy in the wee small hours, from baking a cake to watching a box set on Netflix (other streaming services are available 😊). I always make tea, and if it's an activity that's compatible with being in bed, I drink it there. One thing I've found that is sure to send me back off while I sip, is an audiobook. Doesn't matter how fascinating or exciting, just when the best bit's coming, I'm zzzzzzzz... ing. Tired then during the day? Well, if you can find 15 minutes for a power nap, why not seize the moment? Wakefulness as you get older is really common and I too think those medications which are supposed to help just make you feel much worse. I bet if you came onto PWB during the night you'd also even find a few random night owls fluttering about.

I feel for you and totally get where you're coming from with regards to medications, It's a tough one. I too have a history of sleep issues, stemming from constant pain etc. from several conditions . My doctor has always been reluctant to prescribe anything as she knows my conditions are very long standing and not going to change, but sometimes I feel I'd take anything for a proper night's sleep! But then I too worry I'll become dependent or suffer the horrid side effects. Sleep deprivation, as I'm sure you're aware, can have a devastating affect on both mental and physical health! Please don't beat yourself up about things you're not getting done etc, right now! This is not a normal time and we just have to cope the best we can, and if this means eating or drinking a bit more, or being a bit less organised , putting things off till we feel a bit more up to it, not getting dressed, whatever, it is okay! You will get back on track when you're good and ready!

I think it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job of things considering! 😊

I'm sure you'll get some great tips on relaxation techniques etc. too. Take good care and I hope you manage to get more sleep tonight. Xxx

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I'm so sorry to hear you've been struggling. These are very uncertain times, fortunately though it will get better.

I took St John's Wort a few years ago now and they were way better than any prescribed meds for me. Unfortunately like everything they can have side effects and I was that one person in about 10,000 that was sensitive to them, you can be photo sensitive. It's very rare so it's worth checking with your GP if you can take them.

Failing that meditation is definitely something to look at.

Wishing you well.

Take care


Hi secrets, do feel for you as there's nothing worse is there than not being able to nod off at night. I've also had sleep issues my entire life mostly insomnia or nightmares. But it hasn't been bad all the time and although I only had 3 hours kip on Sunday night I managed more last night - was so knackered I think!

Like other posters I try to accept it although it isn't easy. I wish I could be like my husband who takes about a minute to drop off, sleeps at least 2 hours longer per day and then wakes up yawning....grrrr really annoying!

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and are coping well by tackling the paperwork. It's good you are managing to control certain aspects of your life when there is so much about our current situation which we can't.

I found "I can make you sleep" by Paul McKenna offered me a few tips.

Once I become aware that I haven't gone to sleep usually a few hours after I've gone to bed I say to myself (in my head) repeatedly "Go to sleep" in a slow calm voice consistent with falling asleep. For me this blocks out any other rumination thoughts swirling around and is so boring and dreary it has the desired effect. Nothing like boring oneself to sleep! I found this has been the best exercise I read in the book, and the one I could remember and put into practice, but there are others based on NLP, don't know if you've read it. Could be some on Youtube?

If I'm anxious I use the 7/11 breathing exercise. A psychiatric nurse told me about this one and I have used it to help someone who was experiencing a panic attack. Breath in slowly for a count of 7, then exhale to a count of 11. It's the breathing out which apparently has a physiological effect on the body (I'm no expert) I have found it slows my heart rate down and once again becomes so boring that it has helped me in the Zzzzzzz department.

Hope things improve for you

thankyou so much for your reply....very much food for thought,x

You are welcome secrets. Here is a link and further info to the 7/11 breathing in case it's of any help. I never bothered to look it up before because it has always calmed me

How is Ladye Bay by the way, bet the 'sea' looked lovely on Monday with a bit of sun shining on it and not the usual brown!

Ladye Bay is a delight,and although its only 2 minutes from my home,i have not been down there for a while,but i should start walking along the sea path to Portishead like i used to do,but over the last few years i was very tied to the home.x

I didn't know there was a footpath to Portishead but it been a while since I visited. Sounds lovely. I hope you're able to get out as the weather improves. Did you grow up in the area? I'm from Backwell. My mother moved to Clevedon, my dad to Nailsea. It's a complicated history, I have fond memories of the places but other memories involving my family are tinged with bitterness and sadness. Oh well.

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Hidden in reply to waitingame7

I went on the clevedon to portishead path many years ago and it's a great walk!

I did'nt grow up in Clevedon,i lived near Frome(a town i loath,bad memories,and to many relatives),,but i've lived in Clevedon about 16 years.

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