Why am I so good at that but not buil... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Why am I so good at that but not building friendship an intimate relationship?

Fought with amazon: for an overpriced webcam. i haven' t figure out how to work it. Cal microsoft their website didn't work. I have to try tomorrow. Waiting for zoom to help me set the site up. Anyway , after numerous phone calls, e-mails ,back and forth , in circle answers, I finally sent an -mail to jeff bezos nad yes they will reimburse me for the overpriced 3. 4 5 x the original price. I was totally discouraged. ready to give up...but I won! OMG OMG !!! anyhow, I am nothing if not persistent. Lost my ex-boyfriend (his betrayal), pushed away my friend and family (not treated right, i feel). I am principled independent a senior, no kids, stubborn and educated but TOTALLY alone in this world.

22 Replies

You are not alone. You are a fighter and this community is your friend's

in reply to

ok thanks...I don't feel supported at all.

in reply to

I have learned one thing about this group we try and help others on here. Together we can get through this

Hi jevousaime4ever,

I'm glad you resolved your problem with Amazon. Maybe I've been extra lucky but they've always dealt speedily with me when I've had a problem. It must feel good to have gone to the top and triumphed. Often we have to be persistent to get to where we want to be.

Are you happy alone jevousaime4ever? I hope so, or that, at the very least you aren't too lonely. Most people seem to find they need to let others in to their hearts, even after being let down and disappointed. But I do know a few people who seem perfectly contented on their own. 🙏

in reply to Callendersgal

thank you for answering with empathy and compassion as well. I wouldn't want to live with a boyfriend anymore, as I did. Live does change you. Doesn't it?. However, I would like to have one an intimate love relationship again. I do prefer it to being alone. i am not, had never been a social butterfly. I don't need a myriad/panoply of friends just one woman friend bc I like the woman perspective . I don't want that much. I know what I want, I am such an intellectual wizard!. I am truly french and truly Jewish with an american flair on the top. A fruitful cocktail! My ex left me totally insecure and emotionally and so so scared. Yet I don't want to be that alone. But I am..here I am aaaaaaaalone.

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to

Things seem to happen all at once . When a break up occours then everything else seems an ordeal . Great that you have sorted Amazon and didn't give up . Break ups are another thing . Give yourself time . Time to do some new things for you .

in reply to focused1

I give myself time. Time is all I have for now. But the sadness lingers on although with less raw intensity. it's me being old. I am not helping you or myself, am I /

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to

I think you are helping yourself by getting your feelings down . Many bottle this up . After this is over I would join U3A . The people and topics are varied. There are regular meetings and many who go are 'retired' but retired is only a name .

We all have too much time to think now but this will be over .

Why not plan what you are going to do .I would phone the leader of U3A in your local area . They seem to be good at networking .

Balloo profile image
Balloo in reply to

Oh babes you sound young I am not 3 hubbies 2 lovers on. At this mo still have man who cares bless . And a cat ! I always said begins all this it is the young ones I care for. I have a lovely young carer 4 hrs week .she 22 this year had no life . I at that age had house in London good job designer.studying to be psychologist, have seen world .& people die in my alms Africa. I must not complain . X

in reply to Balloo

I am not young (69)! I used to have cats. Wish I had one now. They die on me and I can't take . I wish I had a dog: can't take care of it-I have ms-or whatever! Can't compete with how may relationships u had. Besides I am not trying to. One long term relationship left me scarred and alone. Never been to Africa. I have been to Australia , France and I am french american. I am a lot of things but I am still alone and isolated.

Climb007 profile image
Climb007 in reply to

Sorry to learn of your breakup & feedings of isolation and loneliness. Many millions are in the same boat as you, I found listing out the positive things I my life helped me deflect from the sadness. ( e.g if you have good health, food on the table, income etc)

Check out the positive living forum on this site.

Wishing you well.

in reply to Climb007

I hear u . I make post-it notes everyday with +'s and yes -'s everyday more or less. notice the balance/awareness of both poles, the wing and Wang of life. Rational I am ,SAM I am , eggs and omelettes. But in the end alone and isolated.

Even if/when we are lucky enough to have supportive family and friends, we are still alone. What is it they say, every man is an island. It is good to have others in your life, but we cannot pick and choose who we get, so try to count your blessings. The good thing about this site is everyone is supportive and understanding so you are never completely alone, and we are all willing to listen which in itself is great. TAke care.

Glad your perseverance paid off. Sorry you feel lonely but we are always here. x

in reply to Sheila_G

Thank u r for your support. I am very ambivalent about that all cyber/virtual on line support.

Hi Perhaps as an Amazonian only another Amazonian would be good enough for you,try looking somewhere else! meanwhile as the actress said "i vont to be alone" let that be your mantra, mayhap what may ,you may even like it! stay well and wash your hands

in reply to

Is there an endorsement of the feminist meaning? A subtext about the significance, double meaning of the word or am I totally out to lunch on that one? Please tell me.

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Hi, yes,yes,and yes ! You better not be out to lunch!!! Sorry just trying to be clever and ironic and cheer you up at the same time! None of us like to be locked up,but our choice to be alone always remains! I was suggesting that maybe if you accept that you are on your own and saw it as a positive,then maybe just maybe,you will change your perspective,view the world differently and thus be more open in your manner,presenting yourself as a person that is comfortable with who you are then hap what may! who knows. Or on the other hand i have it all wrong!!! stay healthy

in reply to

I am glad to hear that i was right. You just have to tiptoe around people on this site. Sometimes, not always, you have to accept and embrace all the cliches and

mis /informations, about you FAKE NEWS, alternate accepted as reality or truth or misguided worship. No I am not naming names. Do i have to? You can,t convince or change people perceptions of reality. but I digress not lust a little bit!!! Back to me and our conversation. I am a feminist but for the fact that your advice or thoughts for me are easy to say ,so hard to do (easier said than done!. I am a much older feminist Full of political and social know hows but so short on being emotionally for some/many parts full of contradictions. Almost torn between ideals and my past and numerous weaknesses. I have a very hard time with the present: sometimes on the more than often sliding scale .

have a nice day

I apologize for my stream of consciousness and unconscious drives..it's late in nyc. You can escape from the covid-19 horror show and the toll on us all.

in reply to

That all sounds good to me, a place for everything and everything in its place!But the now is the thing, sliding or otherwise! Being a feminist changes little,you are not the some total of your parts, you are more, much more.Take a break from reasoned analysis and see yourself for who you really are!You are truthful, honest, brave, put your guilt down, go for it! You may need a different perspective and a change of medium for your hunting,look beyond the arguments... If the urge to write is not quickly followed by picking up the pen and writing then the urge is not to write! Thanks for sharing good luck and wash your hands!! we will globally beat this thing!!!

Hia I here you . Been back uk a while but if anybody asked me again about friends families I will scream friends 9000 miles away . Family let’s not go there f by my father years ago in this country . Abused in convent . I fled am 69 sick .social services dumped me a place 50 miles away anybody I knew . To a place I can not cope with . I been grounded 2 years .

Unfortunately , I can relate to you: family, same age (69), friends, relationship or the lack of their of. I am fixated with my ex- boy friend. Same patters of my childhood: longing for people that abandoned you, Wanted to be loved by people that betrayed you. Not a day,hour minute whatever that I don't want to reach out/think about him. Substituted my parents/brother/family for him. O mg !one person's happiness( he is married and happy/better off) is somebody else tragedy ( that's me). I feel so stupid!