Lousy day - pain and depression

Yesterday was dreadful. I could barely manage the essential luggage, then I ended up doing the whole of the rat computer results as well as my Show Sec stuff, and various other bits of hassle as well. The journey back was even worse - walking from the bus to London Bridge Station is such a long way. I sat in the 'disabled' section for assistance off as my back was so bad. It appears that SE Trains think that we need a seat half the thickness of a normal one - more like a cloth-covered board - and with the back having curves in the reverse of the position to accommodate the human spine!

On arrival I was in extreme pain, took a dose of Oramorph and proceeded to itch like mad all night. I gave up on NHS Direct as they were going to ring back in 10 hours - also the person had obviously not been listening. Rang the out-of-hours doc, but he agreed I'd already done what I could and had no further ideas. Tried to ring another organisation - 3 attempts - each replied with 'ring again in 10 minutes.'

Feeling desperately low. Missing morning service, but I have to prepare the PowerPoint for this afternoon's. Don't feel remotely like it.

7 Replies

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  • I hope you managed to get going in the end, though sometimes you need to give yourself permission to slow down. Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully will be a better one.

    No surprise that SE trains have a strangely designed seat. It wasn't that long ago that they still used the old fashioned slam-door carriages. I used to dread travelling home with all my student luggage, the fear of not being able to force the window down to open the carriage door and get off in time! And if the window got stuck there was only one thing for it - jam your armpit onto the window and stretch out to twist the handle - ouch! Luckily I was young & fit without pain in those days.

  • I hate travelling too as my body complains violently even on short car journeys. Nothing seems to make it any less of an ordeal. I have sucumbed to writing 3 days off to pain and misery everytime I travel. It takes at least 2 days for my body to calm down.

    Try and see a sports physio. They are very good at easing pain with a therapeutic massage which includes a variety of other alternative therapies. They will show you how to treat yourself with stretch exercises and accupressure.

    The other thing to try is meditation. This will relax you and will move your focus away from the pain which might make it easier to cope with.

  • sorry to hear you had a very bad day.But well done you for getting done what you did. Yes giving ourselves permission to slow down is a must it's also incredibley hard. I find when my pain is really bad I try to distract myself by keeping going,which is probabably not the best. My pain is awful at present to the extent I can barely do my stairs..I'm 51 and I feel like 91 !!

    I am not happy with nhs at present ..its as if they say 'oh take these there is nothing more we can do' ,i've had xrays and mri ,done pain team,done pt,BUT have not been seen by a nerve specilist ,I'm just told ops would not be suitable or similar. Well they dont have to live with this and in the 3 years since this happened it has got worse..that does not seem to matter. So I bumble on .

    Good luck with your presentation and I hope your pain lets up a bit for you

    best wishes

  • Well there is nothing I can say, wish you luck, and hope things will eventually sort themselves out.

    We all generally find that we can only go so far with the NHS, this is what has happened with me, treatments can cost to many Qallies, so just put your head down and live your life as best you can.

    Personally I am going through this rotten flareup that was possibly caused by medications that I am sort of immune to, that was caused thirty years ago, this time they had to do something as my specialist had retired, Sometimes do no harm comes as a secondary point when they really need not to do no harm.

    When I get sorted I will continue to to be involved with LINK, A think tank associated with the NHS, iN April, called Healthwatch dealing with general mental health patients and also dementia cases in mental health, and my doctors practice , patients participation group, something to keep going as doctors surgery moving to a new surgery.

    This is all we can do as their is no-one really there to help with encouragement, So keep a hold and keep writing those blogs at least you have this site to let off steam

    Best way is to look foreward to something that is positive and try and get away from any negative thoughts that you may be suffering.

    GOOD LUCK.

  • Having cancelled today's engagements because of the pain, I rang to say that my heating isn't working, and they are coming tomorrow afternoon. As you may know, I don't cope well with unknown visitors, workmen etc. and also have a lot of moving of cages to give them access etc.

    I decided to move the sideboard etc., not realising that the top wasn't fastened to the bottom. I just dodged the top as it came down! This meant that I couldn't get to the kitchen etc. I rang a friend to help me, who said he would be there in 10 minutes and would help 'if it wasn't too much for his back.' Twenty minutes later I scrambled underneath, emptied everything that hadn't fallen out and, with great difficulty, put it up. I've put a few things back, but will leave the rest until later. My original plan won't work anyway, so I have more moving later. I'm now off to rest my back (the reason I wasn't going out, and taken more meds including another gabapentin. If I'm not on tonight it will be because I can't cope with seeing two screens, everything moving, and occasionally being slightly psychotic! (All documented side-effects.) I had been meaning to sort the cabinet.

    I really was lucky, though, that the door glass broke on the chair, not my head.

    Gabapentin visual effects kicking in. Just hope the hallucinations don't. (Both documented side effects in some people,) It's hard to weigh up which is worse, pain or side effects!

  • Keep on trucking. Tomorrows another day as they say.

  • I used to hallucinate on the pain meds too - not so much the gabapentin - although the halo of bright blue light around the kitchen door was interesting one night. It was pregabalin (bats flying out of the airing cupboard) and nortriptilyne (a plank of wood lying on top of the TV during an episode of "Blind Suspect", people scooting past the house on bikes, traffic cones in the middle of the road that weren't actually there - that was downright dangerous because I kept swerving to miss hitting them! And most freaky of all, a clone of my then 5 year old sat beside the real 5 year old, just grinning - that was the night I decided enough was enough and the pain won over the pills.

    Then there was the time I was convinced I was made of jelly when I'd had tramadol.

    I have never taken illegal drugs of any kind and really don't feel the need to do so, particularly if that's the sort of thing they do to you! I'd rather feel normal thank you very much, whatever normal is.

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