my name is Dan i'm 33 and have had lower back pain for over 12 years now. I have been told by my consultants that the pain is caused by wear and tear of the small facet joints in my lower back, the pain is sever and now keeps my awake nearly all night. Over the years I have just soldiered on and kept active but now I am struggling to be who I need to be. I have become tired, grumpy, short fused and depressed unable to stick to a job because of the above. The Docs give me naproxen, amitryptaline and physio to no avail.
I do not know what to do anymore I feel doomed unable to rest and my wife may leave me, shes been my rock over the years and deserves a better life.
Would love to hear advice on how I can find a way forward, I don't want my children and wife to seem me crumble.
Thanks for reading.
Written by
danarnewman
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Chronic pain is so hard for anyone who suffers and equally as hard for those loved ones who often watch on helplessly.
You aren't alone here. Other sites may be chatty and apparently more enjoyable, if you like swapping knitting patterns, but here we support each and every person who comes in. Not through diagnosis as none of us are Doctors but through years of our own experiences. and knowledge.
My own husband was about your own age when he broke his back. He was in the Royal Navy on active service when the accident happened. He was medically discharged having to leave a career and job he loved. Went through same emotions as you including feeling a burden and wanting to end his own life. He will be 70 in 5 months and still here!!! Bit more grumpy and less hair. Lot more pain with diagnosed conditions and we have both learned so much on our journey.
Lots of advice but don't want to swamp you.
2 to start with....don't look back...you aren't going that way. The past is exactly where it should be...past.
Other bit...have you ever had referral to pain clinic or pain management course? Both are excellent. Pain clinic will look at your pain and work with you as how to manage it with drugs, alternative therapies and input from you. Pain management is exactly that and usually run as a residential course.
If you want to chat please do. Or send me a private message.
I echo everything Bananas says after 25 yrs of pain and 4 spine ops.
Get a referral to a Pain Clinic ASAP. The pain doc's have better experience of the meds available and a management programme will help, even if you only take one helpful thing away from it.
Keep moving. If you stop it will get worse. Just gentle stretches morning and evening will help. Swim - get referred to a hydro pool if you have one in reach, the warm water and support relaxes the body.
Ice packs and a heat pad are indispensable, doesn't matter which, whatever soothes at the time.
I totally understand your low self-esteem but your family love you, just keep trying to help yourself. Best quote I've remembered and repeat to myself often: 'Your pain/back problem is only one aspect of who you are.' Don't lose sight of all your other qualities, you're still the same person.
And yes, try hard not to look back, hanker after the past but embrace who you are now, you have much to offer and probably more compassion and understanding now of others difficulties. Easier said than done I know and I'm a work in progress. Good luck and take care of yourself x
I understand and just having this outlet to vent or ask questions is a major start as we all need to talk.
I have had constant pain for many years found out i have ehlers danos, l4-l6 Compression pain, doslocation of jaw so it a constant struggle.
Plus womens problems!
What i will say is the naproxen... can make ur pain worse? I dont know how but it did me and when i was told to come of coz it had messed my kidney and liver function up i felt better off it then on? It was explained but i cant remember why....
I use cbd oil now.
The best thing i found is a chiropractor or a osteo that works for u... physio was awful didnt work for me at all and i have seen dozens over 22 years since i first got ill at 19.
So it case of trying things out what u like what helps ur pain.
Mine osteo has literally worked wanders on my back and sciatica i now walk 3-5 miles a day with my dogs aswell as work part time... 18 months ago i could barely walk.
I also do beginner yoga to keep things strong and moving.
Sometimes being static is not the best for a bad back.
It all a case if helping urself b it talking on here or finding some kinda of therapy to help ur body
I had been on it about 18 months and i was fine at first but then i had blood test and wee test and there was blood in urine and my kidney and liver function were bad REALLY BAD!
So they said straight away it was naproxen and come off and then i was given another test 3 months later and it was all fine. So it was the naproxen it was ruining my organs .
It made me feel no better on them then off so i had been taking them thinking they were helping my pain and they werent !
Yup same here. It was a locum who picked it up and said bin them as soon as you leave this surgery. 14 yrs later damage still there and still have to take Omeprazoll
We must help Dan though...don't want to put him off
Thank you for your replies they are much appreciated and already feel inspired by your stories. Luckily I have read up on my meds well and have not really touched naproxen, for the same reasons. As for pain management I must admit to not being convinced they could help having managed so long. I will refer myself Asap.
I have tried everything even gone to amsterdam for cbd oil.
Now between that and a
Brilliant osteopath im so much better.
Do not rely on nhs physio , i know it sounds awful as there fantastic but they just dont have the time to put into u.
I ended up paying private ( thank to having a very generous family who all
Clubbed together all the time to send me) but i did see about 3 physios, 2 chiropractors and 1 other osteo before i kind of fell into the “ messiah” of all osteos which happened as mine was on holiday and she had a stand in and the stand in just knew what was goin on as soon as i told her my symptoms and over months she has changed my life totally.
So there is hope !!!
The naproxen thing i gota say i wouldnt take them as they can just add to ur problems and they do not make that much difference for the hassle they cause.
I find that paracetamol helps a bit, and gabapentin helps too (although a lot of people can't tolerate it). I get back spasms, and for those I take tramadol, diazepam, and occasionally oramorph. I use CBD in my vape.
I use hot packs on my back; a TENS machine; The Apparatus (my partner and I call it that, for reasons neither of us can remember) which is a shiatsu massager; and I do a series of stretches multiple times a day (well, I should). I also do relaxation exercises, which don't work at first, but after practicing them for a few weeks I found that they really help. Sometimes I get massages, and I used to see an osteopath who was amazing , but I lost my PIP so I can't afford that anymore. Pacing is extremely helpful, but It's a work in progress.
Look up Lorimer Moseley on YouTube. His explanation of chronic pain really helped me to think about it differently.
I was on diclofenac, then naproxen, then ibuprofen, for about 8 years. I now have really bad Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disorder. I'm constantly taking omeprazole and ranitidine, I can't eat or drink anything acidic, etc. Horrid.
Yeh i gota to say nsaids are really bad for u, i wished id known this before i started taking them. My liver function still not back to normal lucky my kidney is but i got to have another test in 3 months time to see whats goin on.
I think natural is way to go if u can.
I am not taking any painkiller at no which is miracle for me, take couple paracetamol to take edge of now and again but im doin it all with cannabis cbd oil and osteopath and it working
hi.you are only a young man.you sound very depressed and it is that you must address first.ask your doctor for short term antidepressants and request counselling with a properly qualified therapist who has knowledge of cognitive behaviour therapy.no matter where you live in the U.K you are entitled to a course of pain management.you also need referral to an orthopaedic consultant so you can have aMRI or CT scan as you do not say whether you have been told what is causing your extreme pain.do not give up on the best part of your life with children growing up.do not allow your doctor put you off.complain and whinge like hell to him but try and put on a brave face with your family.believe me they will never understand your pain so take as much time as you can at the best time of your day to be happy with them .good luck
I agree with Garvary re having an MRI if you have not had one already. I had also pain from my facet joints and had a denervation which helped greatly with that pain. I have other back issues and have found that pregabalin and dihydrocodeine help with that.
Hello Dan, saddened to hear about your situation. I'm much older than you and have had my chronic lower back pain for all of a mere seven years. Just like you I get very down about my condition but I manage to stumble through the days and when I 'force' myself with my wife to listen to some live music or to go dancing (I'm learning to jive at 63) I often forget about the pain and end up enjoying myself. Never, never allow the pain to completely divert you from what in your free time you used to enjoy. As for meds I'm on a heady concoction of pregabalin, tramadol and sertraline; very effective for sleep but I have to put up with the 'mind fog' throughout the day, which means I cannot get done the tasks which otherwise I would have easily accomplished with still energy to burn. Annoyingly no more. If I don't take the meds the stinging pain returns with a vengeance. Catch 22. I know the opioids only mask the pain.
Despite 'pain relieving injections', regular exercise, nutritional food etc very few things have worked for me. My pain becomes more severe as the day draws on, I feel exhausted by mid afternoon and my body is crying out for rest and sleep even though I haven't done very much and of course this leads to anger and depression; but with an appropriate anti depressant you will rise above these feelings. By the time I resurface it's early evening - a decent meal and thoughts of retiring for the night. A very restricted form of existence.
I am at a crossroads; I am praying that all of us chronic pain sufferers might eventually be prescribed medical cannabis: I have read of promising testimonials of Americans who have been treated with this 'vegetable' it deescalates the pain but there is very little 'mind fog'. October will be the month where medical cannabis will officially be prescribed to increasingly despairing patients. Please God their pain will be alleviated by ancient and trusted pain reliever.
Finally I have to mention The Regenerative Clinic in Harley St, where healthy stem cells are taken from one part of the body to replace those cells which are not functioning correctly and so contributing to your feeling of pain. Stem cell replacement is only in it's infancy in this country and I'm sure it's not cheap - but a tidy sum spent to minimise the exhausting pain would a life saver. I'm thinking of contacting them myself (even though to the annoyance of my good wife I have already spent a small fortune in trying to find a therapy that really does deliver). Have a look at their website.
Needless to say Dan, I sincerely hope that you find a therapy that works for you.
The best thing that happened to me is finding an excellent deep tissue remedial massage therapist. I refused Physio after my surgery (knee) as they treated me as a condition, not a person, and we are all individuals. I'm sure not all physios are like this, but mine were. My knee issues were longterm & as a result caused referred pain elsewhere. I had severe chronic back pain. My whole sacro iliac joint was rotated, due to the way I was walking. It was agony. They wanted to operate on my back but I refused as I hoped that the massage would help. I cannot tell you the relief it gave me. My back is no longer wonky, I even enjoy the massages now! I know that all backs are different & they go wrong for all kinds of reasons, they also cause different compensations. This is why we must be treated as individuals. I have a problem with one of my facet joints, nothing as serious as you. It is very painful & I sympathise with you. But I go straight to my massage therapist & he manages to sort it. What I have learnt is that when we are in pain, not only do we tighten up in that area, but also we compensate elsewhere (my lower back pain came from my knee!) & this causes pain. We also have pain at the source of the injury (in your case, facet joints). Wherever there is pain in the body, there is inflammation in the surrounding soft tissue. This is the body's natural defence mechanism to protect the area. A deep tissue remedial massage therapist will work on those soft areas & flush out the inflammation & build up of toxins, which cause pain. It can't regrow your bones but it can remove localised swelling & inflammation surrounding them, which helps the pain. It has been a lifesaver for me, and is worth a try. Unfortunately you have to pay for it, & you have to go regularly, but it's worth every penny in my book. Deep tissue remedial massage can be quite painful at the time (no candles or ethereal New Age music are present!!) but the therapist should build up gradually for you. Ask them to. They will also give you exercises tailored to the individual patient to help build strength around the vulnerable areas. I couldn't bear to be touched at all in the beginning, now I am able to have a deep massage. It's a miracle for me. Be sure to get someone who is properly qualified. I don't know where you live but later today I will send you details of the organisation where my massage therapist was trained, as their website has a list of practitioners throughout the UK. I have to go out now but will look it up later & get back to you. I use CBD oil too, it's good stuff (check out CBD Brothers online).
Hi Dan. Welcome to the site. You have had some really good bits of advice already. I hope that they help.
I would reiterate the suggestions for the pain management team referral. I received very useful support and advice from them but also facet joint steroid injections which relieve a lot of the pain for a few months. They don't work for everyone though but they give me enough relief to be able to take more exercise and build some stronger back muscles which support the painful joints.
Mt
My tens machine is invaluable. Get a cheaper one to try and be persistant. It can take time to get positioning and intensity right.
As Pat says, try to look forward not back to what it was. I wasted years in longing for the thing I used to do and crying for the life I used to have. Plus the many hours in grief about what MIGHT happen. Catasrophising big style.
Hi Dan, I’ve been a member of this chronic pain family for the last 3years. I was 47 when I suffered a spontaneous fracture of my S1 (Sacrum) which resulted in nerve damage and then to constant, chronic, bloody awful pain with no prospect of cure. I tried to hang on to my teaching job but had to be medically retired last year. The guys here have seriously kept me going when I’ve been struggling so I would wholly recommend it as a safe and comforting forum to be on. I’ve had various combinations of drugs over the time, from Gabapentin, amitryptaline, Cocodamol to my current combo prescribed by the Pain Clinic of Pregabalin, Nortryptaline and Butrans patches and whilst I’m still in pain, it’s nowhere near as bad as is used to be. I’ve done all the medications now so am hoping to try the CBD route next.
Keep posting, keep asking questions and keep pushing your GP/specialists to get the best care available. Please also keep talking to your wife and family, they need to support you but also need to know how this is so hard for you and that you need them more than ever.
I hope things improve for you, don’t forget there is always someone here for you. Take care ❤️
Have you had bloods taken to check your esr and crp? After 30 years of back pain i finally have been treated for inflammatory arthritis( years of being fobbed off).
I agree deep tissue massage will help along with hot water bottles. Pain management helped a little but nothing really worked until i got referred to a rheumatologist and finally got a true diagnosis.
I am 58 and had chronic pain condition for 10 years plus which robbed me of my childs childhood. I am not sure if it is still available but I was referred to a pain management course at Bath Hospital it 3 weeks in residential housing and then working at the hospital daily for weekdays, they provide everything, I would ask to be referred to them. It not well known, but is very good, but expensive. I am sure your family would miss you but its life changing. Makes you look at pain in a different way and how to cope with it. For you it would I believe be money well spent by the NHS, but make a nuisance of yourself with the doctor.
Hope you are able to get the help you need. Pain is something you, your family and friends suffer, its far-reaching.
Hi Dan I too have lower back pain calling it bilateral sciolosis but I don't think they know really , had a facet joint injection can't you have one of those I got mine through pain management has worked a little I can sit for a little more , but like the advert says every little helps , know what you mean about being a burden I too feel like that at min and feel worried that hubby will leave, but he just says he is not going anywhere so get that idea out of your head, just hang on in there I just do what you can
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
New to the group .. chronic back and neck pain has changed my life .. hardly coping..
Pain in my side (sharp)
Pain in my sternum and my lower back (right side)
Severe lower back pain on the right side.. now down to my pelvis and leg.
Pregnant,in severe pain with my back and need help and advice please 
