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Pain Concern
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Needs assessment & blessings

I have just completed the needs assessment & read the report. I haven't been on Health Unlocked for ages as every time I went to use the computer, it brought on serious anxiety. Reason being: I had to retire from my job toward the end of last year due to my declining health. It was an awful year & the support I thought I would receive (I had been there for 14 years) was not forthcoming at all. It was a real slap in the face as I had the kind of boss who sighed emails with love & kisses, & always called me 'friend'. I have known her for about 12 of those 14 years. The first contact I had from her was March this year to see if I had some paperwork she was after! That's it.

But now I have reclaimed my computer for reasons of 'self' only! I even went back on Facebook three days ago.

But I am feeling so left behind while family & friends get on with their lives - socialising, planning, doing etc etc. My best friend went off on a trip that once upon a (painless) time, we would do together. I was so happy for her (as she lost her husband this year), but at the same time envious. Then the guilt came for feeling envious - I have my husband... I told her my feelings & apologised. As usual she was warm & loving & said she understood. Made me feel guiltier than ever.

But I did join a 'gentle' exercise group. So proud of myself. But I can't keep up, so stay at the back of the room & do the best I can. It is only one hour but it knocks me out for that afternoon & all the next day. Embarrassing. I'm 61 years old & totally sick of myself.

However, now I am back online I can join again with like minded folk such as yourselves. I can post messages to my friends & family on Facebook. I can (try) to regain what I used to do so freely - creative writing. I can learn how to start a blog. I can...

After writing the last paragraph I feel much better, It is working already!!!

Positive vibes to all who are out there in the 'pain wilderness'. May Angels (& friends & family) watch over us all.

Robyn (Robbie)

11 Replies
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Well done, you are on the way,take time, look at the changing colours on the trees, each day will get easier,and you will feel happier being positive and you will help those around you.xx


Never look to the past. It is gone. Past. Don't dwell on what you had or others still have.

This is your now and your future. Meet these new challenges head on and you will learn as you trundle along.

Well done and Good Luck



Robyn, you sound like you are reading my mind. A lot of what you are experiencing, I also experience(d). What I'm going to tell you sounds so simplistic, but has worked in my life. ACCEPT ACCEPTANCE ACCEPTING. Its a new life for you, but not being able to work, participate socially, etc is now your (and mine) life. Accept it and move on to things you can do. PLENTY OF REST IS IMPERATIVE! Even if you don't sleep, you are resting your body. I go over my prayer requests in my head. Then pray for myself. If it can't be healed then pray for acceptance. Take care!


Well said gina1.

Unfortunately most people never reach the acceptance stage.

Losing your health or becoming disabled is like a bereavement with a number of stages we all experience. Loss,. anger, blame, grief,, sadness and a couple more with the final one acceptance that whatever you had has gone forever.



I know its a long time since my post but i got so sick i just stopped posting. So i guess that now I'm posting a few bits again is a positive move. Xx


Hi there. Well done on trying to help yourself. Its difficult to take in we cant do what we used to do. In kind of the same position myself. I used to think my employer should do more now i look at it that they are busy trying to keep things afloat so i dont stress about what i think they should do. Sometimes this type of situation is new to them and while we think they dont care its usually that they firstly dont understand and secondly dont really know how to deal with it.

On to what your doing joining back in

I joined an expert patient group last year and took the oportunity to become a tutor. It was a bit stressful training but the feelings i got from tutoring , and seeing the difference in people more than makes up for the stress. I dont think i have ever felt so rewarded .

You say you have joined an excerscise group . This is good but there will be a group that is full of people with chronic pain. So you can keep up. Not feel preasured and be taught stuff that wont cause you days of pain .

I tutor ways to pace .finding base lines not doing to much etc.

It does mean sort of analizing your lifestyle and adapting it to your current situation . Using different types of relaxation distraction etc.

The group thing can be stresful to begin with but almost immediately you figure out your in the company of a group of people who fully understand better than most. Some get lots out of the group for others its about breaking isolation .

Good luck to you

Many thanks dave


Yes, I have come a long way, and I'm very careful not to overdo. I am, on most days, in a very good place. It has been a couple of 3 years in the making. Thank you for your response


Thank you for your wonderful encouragrment. Xx




Hi Robbie I so feel for you and your pain I understand as I'm in chronic pain myself and only just recently realized that I can't do the things I used to and I'm still learning how too pace myself and that I have too rest a Lot more than ever it's my family that think I can still do the things I used to and don't understand why I can't I feel like a parrot constantly repeating the same stuff over and over so I'll go on ahead and maybe none day they'll understand and catch up !!!😏

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I think you have been treated so poorly to say the least by you're old boss,there are no excuses for that kind of behaviour.Lets hope karma comes back and butes her.Its so hard when pain takes over every aspect of our lives.Feel enpowered that you are trying to do things to either keep you're mind busy and or attend classes.Just go at you're own pace,whatever you feel comfortable doing.Baby steps.Rome wasn't built in a day.

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