PAIN AFTER SEX

[stokebones]

New to this forum

Hope some of you can help. I have suspected endometriosis, although this hasn't been diagnosed !

I am in a lot of pain downstairs after having sex with men ! I feel this is really restricting my life and I am being shunned to the side !

My doctor is sympathetic, but doesn't know what to do. He's examined me, and said everything feels fine with no sensitivity. I am awaiting to be seen in the Hospital !

I'm taking Pregabalin 150mg twice daily, amitriptyline 25mg at night, co-codamol, and 200mg Tramadol twice daily. I take morphine 20mg prior to intercourse.

Can anyone suggest what I should be asking my doctor ? How should I manage the pain ?

Thanks for the help !

[deejames]

I find it very worrying that you are taking morphine to help with tolerating intercourse on top of all these other medications. Does your doctor prescribe morphine and tramadol ? Seems very unlikely. I feel you ought to tell your doctor how extreme this is and ask for a fast track appointment to a specialist. And perhaps stay away from sex in the meantime. Especially if your doctor doesn't know you are taking morphine. How much by the way and in what form ?

I hope you will go back to your doctor and express the severity of your pain.

Dee

[Cat33]

I totally agree with Dee very worrying that you are taking so much and they are not usually presribed together I think you should abstain from sex for a while and try and get if you can fast tracked to be seen You dont want to fear having intercourse which should be lovely and enjoyable for you and your partner Sorry but don't want to sound bossy just think it's a shame you are in pain and it can be sorted

Wishing you lots of luck x

[stokebones]

Sorry I should have clarified, it's not just painful during intercourse, but this is new for me which is causing most of the concern.

The doctor believes I may have endo and fibromyalgia which is the reason for the strong pain killers. They were started in hospital after I was seen in a lot of pain.

I was told not to worry about the Tramadol and that if I use the Oramorph it should only be a few times a week max.

Like you I felt uneasy about taking it, but was told that people with back pain or even knee pain often taken these medications and much higher doses which reassured me a little bit. I strongly believe it's not the cause of the pain but the actual pain severity that should decide on painkillers.

[tiffanyvd87]

My doctor did not prescribe me any pain killers. He just advised an over the counter anti-inflammatory. I too, had pain during and after intercourse which then turned to a constant pain. I complained enough to my doctor about the pain and the effect it was having on my day to day life as well as relationship with my spouse. I was referred to a gyno and further tests were done eventually leading to a laparoscopy to remove the endometriosis.

[stokebones in reply to tiffanyvd87]

So you managed all that time on fentanyl ?

[thefreakyfairy]

Hi hun! I so wish I could tell you something positive or reassuring but all I can offer is my empathy.

Sorry for the long postbut I hope it helps you a bit, I got married in 2005. In 2007 I had a car accident which some how damaged my back! Many tests etc with no definite dx and when I pushed I had an ortho 'specialist' tell me that I was to stop wasting nhs resources and his time with 'phantom' pains! This crushed me as I always thought that growing up with Crohns disease, training and working as a nurse and having a very good social life meant I was dealing with pain and embarrasment of Crohns (and the resulting 2ndary RA) better than most. I sulked away and suffered in silence. But it meant sex was very painful and it limited us as a couple. I was silly I suppose and to deal with the pain and still work (restricted hours though!) I was taking a few Nsaids a day (A Nono with any tummy condition!) in 2009 my almost controlled IBD went into overdrive, I was wearing adult nappies, and spent 6 mnths f 2009 in and out of hospital on very high IV steroids, IV chemo meds and biologic TNF blockers. So sex wasn't even a consideration. In 2010 I had my most major op to date which resulted in them removing my ilium, large bowel and rectum. Which, incidentally, they then found that my colon had been so swollen for so long (they say 2+ years!!) it had been leaning on my spine and nerves, my surgeon was amazed I had actually been walking. It hadn't been seen by the drs before because they weren't looking for an organic issue! (GGrrrrr).

I am living a great life now as far as my IBD goes, I also have Hydradinitus suppurativa which is worse as I'm now off the crohns meds that were keeping it at bay. My HS is exaserbated by my hormones so for at least 1 week of 4 I'm completely laid up. Unable to do much except getting to the loo and back at these times I eat junk. My RA, neuropathy and now permanently damaged back leaves me unable to exercise. (This will make sense in a bit I promise.)

Since my op in may 2010 my hubby and I have attempted sex twice. Both times have been impossible and I've ended up in so much pain attempting penetration the moment ends in me sobbing. I find just putting a tampon in painful and uncomfortable and in fact I have lost all sexual drive (well most...I do miss it!). So I went to my GP. I asked if my op was known to cause these issues? NO! I questioned if it could be possible that my whole internal genitalia had shifted into the void that my bowels had once filled! Apparently, from the look I got, that was a silly question!! So I asked if maybe after all I had gone through my sexual drive is damaged, was there a viagra type med for females? That is a definite No! Why would there be? (Silly me I forgot this was 2014 era I must live in the 1920s!!!) I was dismissed.

Then last year I went back for a check up for my contraceptive pill, which is the only thing that controls my HS to any point! But because I have put on weight (well finding the joys of real food after 25 yrs of malnutrition does that and isn't helped by my lack of exercise!!) and I'm now over 40 they won't prescribe! Ok, I asked for a hysterectomy.....Nope I'm too young and I haven't had kids! I'm over 40, the reason I can't have the pill derrr, and I am unable to have kids and my hubby who is older has had the snip. So neiher are valid! Nope He wouldn't even consider it. Neither would the next 2 female drs I saw to ask! Untiil a nurse tried to take a smear, failed, tried again and again for nearly a year and between pain and her unable to get where she needed to get I had to see a dr for gentle sedation, as well as the nurse and lots of prodding, poking, digging and perplextion to get a basic smear! THAT Dr said it wasn't right and refered me to a gynae. More tests only to find I was right, everything is tilted so far back that I'd have to be an acrobat to achieve penetration, the pain on attempt has damaged me pyschologically knocking my labido into a 6 ft grave. Yay I was right AGAIN!

So Can you fix it? Nope, the surgery could cause major complications (adhesions etc) because of my history of tummy ops! He will not get rid of it, as he feels whiilst it may help my HS at 1st glance he would have to give me HRT which could make it worse. Can he retilt my insides back so my too young yet too old body can at least attempt sex (ignoring the poo bag on tummy, my surgical scars and my weeping cyst covered nether regions maybe it may be good mentally for me?!?!) with my poor sex deprived hubby! No. That wuuld be major reconstructive surgery which involves refashioning my perfectly behaved stoma, to a position that would place it next to a scar causing issues and also at risk of surgical adhesions!!

There is doodly squat that anyone, on the NHS any way, can do to help me as either way surgery is out! Us women are not supposed to want or enjoy sex apparently! Having looked into this, my op can cause realignment in women and sexual disfunction in men. For men they can get equipment provided on prescription and/or viagra and even counselling! For women, as I've found, its impossible to get it recognised and even if it is there is nothing for us!

Sorry! I know a long post without any hope from my PoV but I have friends who have endo and a few have been helped with sexual counselling and lots of trial and error (My BFF's hubby loved the chance to try every karma sutra position in an attempt to please her!) not only is her sex life healthy but she even managed to have a child (after a few complications) with endo! But my advice is if you can afford it, by pass your NHS GP and pay private for care now before it gets too bad and affects you mentally as well as physically! I've resigned my self to an orgasm free life (I can't even reach one on my own!!) and have told my hubby that I wouldn't blame him if he went and found 'sex' elsewhere! As long as he ONLY finds sex not love and he tells me so I don't find out from a 3rd party!

Endo doesn't have to mean a sex free life if you get the right help and support early!

Luv'n'ugz xxxx

P.S. Opiates can cause vaginal dryness and reduces sex drive as well, so if possible please limit your opiate based meds (if only because if you're on them now pre dx you have no where to go when you become immune to them!) have you tried meds like Co-dydramol or co-proxamol for pains? Or even high dose regular turmeric capsules will help, save the opiates for later down the road? Theres nothing worse than having an op only to find out that the post op anaelgesia sucks!!