For quite some time I've been avoiding some problems and not seeked out help. So I'm going to talk about one of the problems that recently just keeps getting worse. Today I went shopping because I needed clothes and buy birthday cards and I also got food. But during queues being too near to people I was freaking out inside like really nervous and I just wanted to hurry up and get out of there. When I'm at home I barely leave the house, I barely see friends at all and I feel as though I'm not getting any better but worse. It started with me just avoiding friends and then not going out and I've never been a huge fan of crowds of people. I've always kind of sped my way through what I've needed if I'm in a city centre. As when I'm with friends I never tell them everything that's going on whether it's because they'll think I'm being silly or little things like that or they don't understand ... Maybe I'm over thinking things i dont know maybe this is just normal for most people :/

17 Replies

  • Hi sorry to hear this.I don't hav this but my girlfriend suffers anxiety and gets anxious and panic attacks I jus thought I try and help as I do with my girlfriend.thing is you got to try and build things up going at things and expect things to fall into place dosnt work ie going can't jus jump off the deep end especially if you are use to be in girlfriend gets this feeling of tenseness in her legs.her whole body shuts do need to speak to your doctor thoy so they are aware of what is going on I don't know if you got other health issues if you are being prescribed medications they can give you side effects possibly.on building things up go for a walk or so on so you are not under any pressure so you get used to outside again I do hope you find the answer and I hope you get this under control

  • I feel, you may be trying to do much on the one time you do go out. I may be looking at this the wrong way, but if it was me, I would get a selection of cards that would suit various occasions at one shop and store them in my card drawer. Funny Thinking about it now, I must have at least 30 cards to hand. But I'm wrong, I started counting up and I have at least 60. My excuse is I live out in the sticks and can't travel on the limited bus service.

    So I feel you may be trying to get better too quick. and in doing so it could put you off. I don't like crowds but for different reasons to yours. I'm ok in supermarket queues as long as I don't have to wait long, so go for basket only or 10 items or less ( providing that applies) and don't crowd the person in front of me and try and keep the person behind me from crowding me. Not always easy. One step at a time in more ways than one. I do my bulk shopping on line which makes the top up shopping easier for different reasons to yours. No secret just very limited to what I can carry.

    Clothes. Will have to think a bit more on that one.

  • If I go into the town/ city on the Sat. I go when I know it will be less crowded which is usually about 4. 30 pm. I don't like people waking close up behind me because I worry they may bump into me. So if I thought this might happen, I step to one side and let them pass. They sometimes give me a strange look but I'm not bothered.. I can't risk falling..

    Try and put your mind to enjoy clothes shopping. Not easy, could take quite awhile. But could be a good feel factor when you get back home and you have something new and different to wear..window shopping can be good too.

  • I take Lorazepam (generic of Ativan) for this problem. It really helps. Check with your doctor.

  • What is it exactly for? :/

  • Just been looking up the side effects of this drug. Worrying

  • I looked it up too and there okay for severe cases so as when really needed

  • I looked them up on askapatientcom sounds like it is horrendous to try and come off them.

  • Hi keepinganon,

    The feelings you describe sound a little like panic attacks and it is something you need to nip in the bud before you become agoraphobic.

    It's a shame that you are avoiding friends, they could play a part in restoring your confidence. Invite one or two round for coffee and cakes, ask them about what they are involved in (ie work, hobbies etc) and gently introduce your own situation, telling them how you feel and how it isolates you. You may be surprised by how understanding they are.

    Next step is to get referred to a cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) course via you GP. This will help you to develop strategies to deal with your fears and negative feelings.

    We do all have bad times and when we are ill and in pain, this can dominate our conversation. But by taking an interest in your friend's lives and letting them know how much you've enjoyed their company you will naturally develop their interest in spending time with you. Plus, enjoying yourself in other's company distracts you from your aches and pains - double result!!

  • Real, true friends who you can trust are good to talk to and they will be helpful. I have 2 friends at most in this catorgary. Then I have several acquaintance friends who I can chat to about everyday things but that's as far as I go.

    If you can afford it, a good thing to do in my opinion is to see a Traditional Chinese Acupuncturist. It is amazing what an experienced TCA well qualified Practitioner can do. this is not to be confused with the usual symptomatic Acupuncture used by NHS and other establishments.

    try and think of a Hobby you might like to get started on. Keep yourself busy. I really miss a small cycle ride. I used to enjoy riding to next village. Doesn't matter where you cycle to, it would get you out of the house and it can be enjoyed.providing your pain permits.

  • Needles send me into full panic mode so I won't go near any so that probs not a good idea and as for hobbies I like watching films and going to concerts, which I hate going to theatres because it's expensive just to see a film and concerts are just too crowded for me now, and riding a bike I have a fear of falling off them and it doesn't matter how I try to get over it I just can't

  • Fair enough. I can understand and appreciate what you are saying.

  • Gardening. Being out in the fresh air , sow a few lettuce seeds, could be a good new hobby. Up to you then whether you manage on your own or occasionally talk to neighbour over the fence and swap seeds, ideas. One step at a time. Plenty of summer time left to grow some lettuces in the garden or in a pot. If you don't like lettuce u could give them away

  • Or you could grow some flowers from seed,

  • You might find more appropriate help on one of the anxiety forums.

  • I'm new to the site and didn't know how to find other comunities :(

  • Sorry, try googling Anxiety UK for starters. Looks very helpful.

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