Wishing u all Health and happiness

Hi all as some of u know that have been having some problems with my partner so I got in touch with my OT and she was going to move me after the back holiday but that fell through so yesterday I spent 2 hours on the phone with her she as now told me that she can not move me till October because there are no place a viable till then so I asked if she find me a place out side the county I was told no and that I would have to do that my self, it looks like I will just have to put up with the slaps and the kicks or ?

I was born on the 01/07/ at 2:15 in the morning so I think it's fitting that I end it on that day and time.

I would like to thank everybody on this forum for everything that have tried to help me with and hoping u all have a pain free lives.

Best wishes to u all from pete

25 Replies

  • Please please don't go ahead with what you are thinking. I do remember you. Ring OT back and tell her you need a place of safety NOW and cannot wait. Any place of safety would do even of not appropriate for your medical needs in the short term. If she cannot help insist you speak to her manager - your case may need to be passed to social workers and joint held.

    There ARE people out there who can help but you may need to push and shout. But that is a much better action than what you are suggesting.

    Please keep in touch.

  • I totally agree with Bevvy here peter and have told you before.

    You must go higher than your OT.

    If your partner does try anything at all you ring 999 at once. They will get you away from any harm or danger you may be in. Yes it might only be temporary but people will help.

    We are all here to care and support you and letting her get away with her bullying is not the answer.

    With you in hugs

    Pat x

  • Peter,

    I sincerely hope that this was written from a place of darkness and that you are now thinking somewhat differently.

    I would be very surprised if there was anyone on this forum who has never considered what, from the darkness, feels like an option - the relentless nature of pain does that to us.

    BUT, you DO NOT have to put up with any sort of abuse from your partner and the OT is not the only person who can deal with this. If you are at risk, as Pat says you ring 999. I have given you the telephone number for Refuge in another post - let me know if you need it again. Please don't think that Refuge is only an organisation which supports women, there are, sadly, many men in your position and they will support you too.

    It's hard to think about others when we feel as low as you do. I remember very clearly thinking in the dead of night not too many months ago that it would be best for everyone if I wasn't here. Now the darkness has lifted I know that was depression and desperation talking. It has taken medication, determination mindfulness and a big dollop of stubbornness to get it to lift, but lift it will.

    PLEASE talk to your medics about your thoughts - why would you allow this woman to push you to such actions???? What right has she got to do this?

    There are many, many many of us in here to care and support in any way we can.

    I may not physically be with you but I'm with you in spirit and willing you to fight through this and ask for the help you need.

    Take care of you,




  • I can't add much more than the posts you've already got.

    I do remember your posts from awhile back,you and only you can do something about this bullying,and I don't mean what your thinking is your only way out.

    You take your life and she's won,fight man and get what you rightfully deserve a decent life. She's probably knocked your confidence but please please fight back.

    Yogibe you can have a happy life just like you deserve so don't even

    Think that way out there is always another way.

    I'm sending you some BIG HUGS and CUDDLES

  • Hi Yogibe

    I am so sorry that you are feeling so low. Your situation sounds awful and I feel for you. Your OT is limited with help she can give. I expect you feel that you've had enough of begging to be heard. I don't know where you live but you can post me privately through the site/( not sure what you do as not good with computers) I can offer you somewhere to stay till you get yourself sorted. No one should have to put up with this treatment and you are a worthwhile person and deserve better. Please stay with us and get in touch. We are here for you. You matter. We care about you and will help you.


  • Just like to thank u all for u comments

  • Have been in touch with the police yesterday I explained what has been going on and they told me that she would be arrested.but as for me being moved from here they said that's the problem because I am in a wheelchair they I would need to talk to my OT I told them that I been in touch with my OT and that they cannot do anything till October, that's where the problem is, so what's the point with it all

  • The OT has no training or experience in protecting adults. I'm sure she has helped in other ways but she should have got in touch with Social Services as they are the ones with training and with resources to assist adults who need protection. There will be help for you, you are just not in the right place to get it. The cops should have referred you on to Social Services too. Have you ever had contact with a social worker?

  • Hi calceolaria social services know about what is going on they have said that there is nothing they can do at the moment because they are short staffed and there is no were to put me

  • What do you think of md55s offer of accommodation?

  • Hi. Spoke to friend in the know. If you are in the position of being hit etc again, call ambulance (because you are in SO MUCH PAIN and out of your mind with symptoms you have - you HAVE to) and you will be admitted to hospital. Let things take their course and be unresponsive but not uncooperative. If asked to be referred to physic then agree. You shouldn't have to return home till alternative arrangements are made for your safety. If you can contact someone who knows your situation ie family member or friend for support then do so. You are not alone. Can you let me know your postcode? Mine is TR1 3PQ. let people help you. You are not able to rationalise at the moment and are vulnerable. You CAN survive this. Xx

  • Hi md55 I have no family because when I was nine years old I watched my mother die in front off me my sisters and brothers were split up and about a year later my farther turned up to take me home but for me it was not because if I did anything wrong he would take is belt off and used it on my back or he would stand me out side in my pjs and slippers in the freezing cold some times for a few hours or all night, as for having friends she used to say it's me or u friends at the time it was her I wish now I would have chosen my friends

  • Please don't leave the forum. At least on here you know people care about you. I'm sorry, I was unaware of your difficult past and didn't mean to cause you distress. I expect you're fed up having to explain yourself to us all. We want to help you. It,s hard having to deal with a partner when the boundaries have become blurred between you. In the end only you can decide how to deal with it. If you really want to move then shout loudly at SServices, police, hospital. You will be introduced to agencies that can support you with social and health issues. I, for one, am not put off from helping you, one arm or wheelchair! Time to take control of your life now, Yogibe. YOU CAN DO IT. X

  • Hi dan9878

    I need to move because her name is on rent I have been in touch with the police and they said if any thing happens she will be arrested and I no if that happens I will be on the street and she will do more harm to me because some time ago about 1or 2 years I did not have my wheelchair but I had my left arm amputated I was shopping in town I did not know that I was being followed so I went for some lunch and that is when I seen the person watching me so when I got up to leave I went over to him and do I no u he just got up and punch me in the face I tried to fight back when I came round I was in hospital I spent some time in hospital she only came once to see me I think she was be hind it

  • Hi md55 hope u are well social services as cut back the cares hours to 8 hours a week they have told me if I need her for the other 8 hours I would need to pay for them hours so I told them to cancel the carer all together so as from next week I will be on my own again now u know why I want to end it also found out yesterday that my pain specialist who I have been with for the last 5 years has gone on long term sick with stresses, so I'm back to square one are well it won't be long till the 1st of July

  • Look I know things are crap at the moment. But I really don't like the comments you are making..... We've all been trying to support you and show you that we care. NOW I am saying 'get a grip'! Use that anger to FIGHT the buggers. Yes your care has been cut but that no reason to cancel the whole thing. Plenty of people on these sites (including myself) get NO help with care. Everything I have I pay for.....which believe me is not easy and I go without a lot of the time.

    Social care is under enormous pressure and at the moment you live in a property with other people.... Even though they major problem. Arrange to meet with people - much better than phone calls to look at options. Short term and long term. Take an advocate with you. Someone who will speak on your behalf. If you're u not got anyone approach local disability charities and CAB.

    STOP looking at 1 July as an option. You are better than that. Ultimately suicide is one decision that can never be undone once it is done. Using flowery language doesn't disguise your intentions. How do you know that things can't get better round the corner?

    You may think I am a bitch and don't understand? I understand all too well and came close to being sectioned some years ago. Yes at this precise moment am ok. But still take loads heavy duty meds and 2 weeks ago was lucky to not be badly hurt or worse in a car crash due to someone else's mistake.

    Am not going to list ALL my ailments or what sites I use. No need for that and will also not insult you by pointing out some people worse off.....

    What matters is YOU and how YOU FEEL about things. But as said keep going and FIGHT,

    Please keep me (and others who have shown they care) updated with how you are doing. Feel free to PM me if you want.

  • Hi Yogibe

    I'm doing OK ta. I'm sorry you're feeling low. I can only suggest you get in touch with social services to arrange for someone to act on your behalf on all matters concerning your wellbeing. Although we, on this site, can only offer you our feedback to your various problems, we are not in a position to offer practical help. It would seem, and I mean this kindly, that whatever comfort/advice you are given, you don't respond to it but just reply by adding more and more 'problems'. I sincerely hope you get help but please don't repay other peoples well meaning with intentional 'threats'. Get help, I think you are truly in great need of it. With all the best for you.

  • Had a new thought! Whose house are you living in? Whose name on rent book etc. if yours then surely police can arrest her and then insist SHE leaves ..... After which you can change the locks. Is not ideal because no doubt she would come around to cause trouble but at least you would be safe until you can be moved.

    Also can not believe there is no where they can find for you on a temporary basis just because you use a wheelchair. Was watching prog on TV the other day and woman bed bound in temporary accommodation until they found her a property. There is always a way!

    Hope you can sort something soon.

  • Hi bevvy her name is on the rent book, OT and social services have told me it's to do with the cut backs, it's hard some times with only having one arm plus my hand is on it's way out who would want some one like me in a wheelchair and one arm my life is a joke so what's the point of it all, I'm also thinking of coming out of this forum

  • I think you are finding it hard to make a decision. If you were abused and bullied as a child you may be more accepting of it from your partner. Social Services have a legal duty to place you if you are in danger. So do the Police. Social Services MUST have completed an Adult Protection Assessment. Cutbacks have nothing to do with it. Is there another reason?

  • There are many reasons one is being alone ok I will have a care coming in daily but most of the time I will be on my own

  • I understand that Yo go. Being alone is scary especially when you have disability. It must be hard trying to weigh up whether it's better/easier to stay where you are familiar with your situation or whether you are so bullied and abused that your health and dignity as a person, is being put at risk. I know nothing of your situation supportive for asking these questions but in fact have you been assessed under Adult Protection procedures and also, importantly, has your partner also been assessed under the same procedures? Has help been offered to relieve the stress between you. Has your partner had a Carers Assessment in her own right?

  • Sorry to jump in but I was reading the forum and came across your posts and I started to read them.

    Alarm bells rang when I saw you saying about ending it it's a easy way out I would say most people in pain long term and people with depression think about it I say this it effectively torn me apart when my brother took his own life in 2006 his wife was having a affair I was close too him as a brother and a friend I loved him so much I miss him every day please do think hard about it I know you said you have no family left and having problem with your partner also it's a easy way out we are only here once life may be cruel and hard but it's the only life we have

    Keep strong and

    Take care


  • I live alone and yes at times it can be tough but is better than living with someone who is both physically and emotionally abusive!!

    Also maybe getting around with one arm and a wheelchair is tough but are alternatives. For example a powered wheelchair or a mobility scooter.

    Always options but think you can't see that at moment because of how low you feel. Speak to GP about options.

  • Yes I have a powered wheelchair I'm just waiting for a mobility car that I can put my wheelchair I have been to my GP and explained what was going on all he said what do u want me to do about it so that's when I went to the OT

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