when you feel nobody is listening

I'm sure many people feel the same especially when it is related to the nerves and you can't get help because the only people who can do anything are on the defensive around misdiagnosing .

But especially when the issue of benefits is in the arena, as belief is very important when decisions are made.

But the most important one' that I' think, is the most important, and that is unless you have them believing you ,(the medical professionals) then getting better is pushed further away, for first is the diagnosing, then the treatment, and then getting well.

So getting them to believe that your pain comes from somewhere in your body, and not an imaginary issue of the mind, must be the first goal of the person who is in pain.

Because there can be a reluctance on the part of those people who first diagnosed you, to look again at what you are telling them.

And finally' if maybe there is an issue around mental health then that to can further complicate matters even for many years.

But I will end my little rant by saying' that as long as you know that your pain is very real, then Two fingers up' to those who do not believe.

20 Replies

  • Join the local fibro support group - they will believe you and give you advice as to where to get the best help. I have found my local group great! x

  • This website neurosymptoms.org/ has a lot of factsheets on how to deal with "functional pain", and they actually seem to take it very seriously.

  • Thank you Alexander Macdonald, you summed it up in a nutshell. Speaking from years of experience and proving the doctors wrong on several occasions the approach to pain is still the same a case of mind ruling the body. Another one put down to mind too are bladder problems over anxious could not possibly be infection or anything else. When it comes to benefits mental health problems have less sway then physical ones which is totally wrong as some mental health issues can make you more incapacitated.

  • I hear you. It took a very long time for my diagnose but I was very blessed that my doctor believed me and did everything she could to help. If you don't have a compassionate doctor then you are miles behind at the start. I hope you can find someone to really listen and not blow you off. Maybe it's time to go doctor hunting as if they aren't taking you serious then they probably won't in the near future. Hope you find some answers sweetheart. xxx Mitzi

  • What do you mean that you were very blessed ?

  • That my doctor took me serious and did everything she could to help me. Hope you find a compassionate doctor to help you sweetheart!!!

  • But what blessed you Mitzi? I don't understand. Is this a religious conviction you have?

  • I guess it's my way of saying God blessed me by giving me a doctor who listens and does her best to help me in all ways. She even went to my mom's funeral. Believe me I have had many doctors in my 52 years and many have treated me poorly. So I feel blessed to have a wonderful doctor. I hope I explained this better this time sweetheart.

  • Mitzi I understand what you mean it is your way of saying you were lucky?

  • Some may say lucky... I feel I was blessed as I have been through so much in my life. Sexual abuse at 10 years old, abduction, raped repeatedly, urinated in my face repeatedly, endometreosis, and a total hysterectomy at 30 years of age after being miss diagnosed for years, then ruptured disk's in my back, next walking on the bones of my feet. I have had many doctors blow me off and think it's mental so I feel very blessed to have a doctor that actually cares and goes the extra mile for me. I can only pray that others find this kind of doctor. xxx Mitzi

  • So sorry you have been through so much mitzi and yet still give your time to help others. Glad you have a wonderful doctor and I wish you only happiness and safety x

  • Thank you, I feel it's the least I can do. I'm not able to do a lot so helping others, helps me. Again thank you xxxx Mitzi

  • That is a truly terrible story.

  • Not really, For every trial I have had in my life there has been joy and lessons learned. When I was going through it all I didn't always see it. Now looking back, it's made me into a better compassionate person. No regrets. xxxx Mitzi

  • Mitziblue..your so nice..really..had all that crap happen to you..and you sound like a ture nice catering person... I thought I had a crap up bringing up...I could of been killed..rapped.etc..long story.. I cryed my self to sleep at 10.. Wished I never woke up again..my so called mother...she hated me...hit.battered me..brought men in when dad was at work...one cold snow night before Xmas I was in bed 11!!! Old.?I had to watch my younger brothers..she came home but me on street in nighty... For nothing..woke me early hours hit me to wash dishes....oh.and more..I lefthome at 15.. Lived south then away from gran.. Families etc...now my dad died..drink..I knew she hit him..didn't help him in end...didn't get him help any way...now guess ....really I have to look after her..I said I never would.. She can't walk. Well with a walker but won't go out alone..I have to....its hard...you always answer kindly..bet you are a care ing person..I am..xx

  • Thank you sweetheart. I'm so sorry for all you have been through. Life can be hard but I always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm about worn out but I love being able to offer what little help I can. I always loved being a Mom and my daughter lives 600 miles away and she hasn't visited in 3 years. It really breaks my heart as I lived for her, my ex husband who baled when I got fibromyalgia. I was blessed with a wonderful Mom and lost her in 2007. All of my family have passed on but for my daughter and one uncle. Now I just want to help others and grow closer to God. I have learned from all my life experiences. Even the terrible ones have given me joy in some way. I didn't always see it at the time but age does make you wise and learn whats really important in life. You are very wise to help your Mom and forgive her for all she put you through. A grudge is the hardest and heaviest thing you can carry and it only steels your joy, not the other persons. Praying for you and hope that things will be better for you and maybe you will get all you so deserve. Just wish You could have enjoyed your childhood. xxxx Mitzi

  • Mitzi I understand what you mean it is your way of saying you were lucky?

  • Everytime I go to the Gp's

  • I say to myself my condition is the best thing that ever happened to me and the worst thing. But it made me reflect, really examine myself and it made me weak and then in some ways,important ways it made me stronger and smarter. It made me apologize, pray, cry, repent,have compassion, humility, gratitude. It made me a better mother, a better companion and opened my eyes to the real fragility of every single thing within me and around me. So I can't sit anymore but I can walk.

  • I was in this situation for a while - there was no obvious physical cause to my pain so it was sometimes assumed to be all in the mind. At the time I was under a lot of stress for other reasons but none of the health professionals I saw bar one knew about this because I guessed they'd assume I had pain from the stress. In fact, once the stress was over, friends expressed surprise that I was "still in pain". It was such a relief to finally find a physical cause for the pain.

    There is still a huge stigma around mental health, I don't care what anyone says.

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