Pain Concern
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Hi I have just been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder - following a near fatal complication after a routine key hole surgery

Can this be the cause of my constant pain?? And bowel issues as a result my marriage has been in turmoil due to my husband lack of compassion or caring and he thinks I'm just a safe case as I can't do what once did -- is this effect of trauma to cause added issues?

5 Replies


You may need some talking therapy here, to help you move on, have you considered compensation if problems were caused by a mistake.

After the operation did the GP or Specialist talk to you regarding post operation care, Is the problem you are having causing further problems associated with the complications you are suffering from. Pain Medications possibly should be offered to ease your condition, your GP will be proactive in their prescribing and treatments associated to form a cure or easing of the condition you find yourself in..

Remember your GP is in partnership with you and your health. You need to take further advice and be proactive in your demands for pain control, Also remember I do not know of the reason and outcomes of your condition, your GP knows

I am not a GP so you will need to take all advice from your GP.



Chronic pain certainly can cause 'added issues' in a relationship as it is extremely difficult to understand if you are not experiencing it. It is also very difficult to explain to someone. The Pain Management Programme I attended for three weeks, had a special session for partners or family/friends. It is a very common problem, lack of compassion may not be the issue. Try and get some counselling help.


Sounds like you are going through a rough time at the moment. Constant pain can cause all sorts of mental depression and trauma, the body is trying to deal with so much all at the same time and it is often a time of great stress. I agree with the posters above that a pain management course could help you understand yourself and the way you feel as well as how best to manage your pain.

Relationships are always difficult when you are in chronic pain, communication breaks down and often partners do not know what to say or when. If they ask to much they are wrong if they stand back they are wrong and it is a very difficult transition for them to deal with as well.

I know from personal experience when I am in pain and not coping I lash out at those I feel safest with. Take a breath write things down and try sitting down and talking things through. I hope things improve for you soon.



Stress is stress. Stress you have from health disibilities is a stress load. You are now nearer your stress breakdown point. Add a certain amount of stress and you will go over your stress breakdown point. Going over your stress breakdown point needs to be avoided as much as possible as your thinking can get very irrational and your body responds in ways which you may find not helpful.

Post traumatic stress disorder is just a name for symptoms you have at the moment. It gives someone a label which can be used for legal purposes and psychiatrists a reason to provide certain treatments which may or may not be helpful. The DSM which psychiatrists use is a book listing symptoms it does not list causes and it does not list the stresses which push people over the edge into mental ill health.

Now for the difficult bit. Why should your husband have compassion towards your condition which he has no experience of. All he can see is someone who is more irrational than they once were. This is the problem with stress, go over your stress breakdown point and you become very irrational to every one around you. When I first got my health disability with all the pain I had I never realised just how much grief I caused to the people I knew.

Pain slows down thinking because you have to handle your pain and the problem have to deal with both at the same time. This is double the load on the brain. Expect to have episodes of depression where the brain says I have had enough I need to recharge. You have to fight the edge to respond as fast as you used when you were not in pain. This takes time as it is a new skill to learn. It requires a lot of skill to ask someone to slow down as you cannot follow them without giving offense. It takes time to learn the skill of requesting time to think about a problem without giving offense. You have loads of new skills to learn. By learning these new skills you will find all sorts of things will improve.

Talking therapy can make things worse because it can send you on an emotional roller coaster with more stress and you can trapped in letting emotions rip because it is an enjoyable activity instead of engaging in the hard work of learning the new skills required in your condition.

Hope this helps


Hi Angel

It is a difficult enough time for you to go through, but to have to go through it without help and support from your partner must be terrifying.

I have a special poem that I give to people who are in need of some comfort and support and you definitely need it.

When angels sense you need them

And angels always do

They come unseen from everywhere

To help and comfort you

They hover close beside you

Till all your cares are gone

Till they can see you're ready

Once again to carry on

Then some of them fly away

And take their gentle touch

To other hearts that need the love

Of angels very much

But one at least stays with you

As your constant friend and guide

For guardian angels never leave you

They are always by your side!

If you can print it out and put it where you can get most comfort from it!

Take care and lots of gentle hugs and angel blessings xx


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