Feeling like Chemo is too Hard

[delia2]

Hi. I was diagnosed 3B HG in August 2018, had surgery, frontline, first recurrence ( carbo and caelyx/doxil), 3 years of Olaparib, one year on nothing and now am having carboplatin alone for second recurrence. My oncologist said this would be relatively easy. Also I haven’t had some of the worst complications many of you have had. Yet now it’s eight days after chemo (2nd cycle) and I’m still nauseous and weak and tired. My daughter and granddaughter are visiting and all I can do is lie in the couch. I’m feeling like I want to quit because I can’t face more and more of this. I know I’m being a baby, but it just seems so miserable. I’m sorry for complaining, but needed to vent.

[Lizchips]

They should be giving you some steroids to keep up up and moving. Also some anti anxiety nausea meds. When you wake before anything even if you don't feel nauseous take meds. Before our of bed it helps. Best wishes

[delia2 in reply to Lizchips]

Thanks, Lizchips!

[Hidden in reply to Lizchips]

What sort of medication Lizchips? I get anxious about feeling sick and that just makes everything worse xx

[Lizchips in reply to Hidden]

Lorazepam

[Bettyxxx]

Hi Delia2

You are allowed to vent! Venting is definitely good (now and again). I think you just need to forgive yourself for not sailing through, but this is not the first time your body has been battered with chemicals and i think that takes a toll. Also its been a few years and just being a bit older means we dont bounce back as quick. So take all that into account and lay on the couch if you need to xx.

Having said that i found the parp (i had niraparib) gave me low b12 so maybe ask if they can check your b12 and vitamin d with your next pre chemo bloods and ask them to up your sickness meds.

Lastly if you are having 6 rounds of chemo then your next one takes you past half way so you can do this and we all understand how you feel

Good luck let us know how you get on xx

Diane

[delia2 in reply to Bettyxxx]

Thanks so much, Diane. I just needed a bit of understanding from a fellow traveler!

[Fluffyjumper]

Hi Delia2

Vent as much as you need to and don’t apologise. Chemo is tiring. You’ve hardly had any break from treatment. Be kind to yourself, seek further advice regarding the nausea and tiredness. I’m sure that your daughter and granddaughter will be very happy to see you, whether or not you make it off the couch.

[delia2 in reply to Fluffyjumper]

Thanks so much Fluffyjumper. Yes they want to help me walk the dog, etc., but I had hoped to be better by then. I think I feel a bit better this morning.

[Mintybiscuit]

Hi delia2, I felt like this many times going through my six rounds. Particularly at the beginning when it felt I had so long to go. It’s hard to believe it will pass, but it will and you are strong enough. I didn’t want to see people much and I found it hard when they came to visit as I felt I had to put on a brave face. It made me feel more conscious of how awful I felt. Don’t quit, it okay to have miserable days and need to vent.

[delia2 in reply to Mintybiscuit]

Hi Mintybiscuit. I think you’re right. If they weren’t here I’d just rest and read but because I want to enjoy their company I am more aware of falling short.

[Schnauzer19]

“This too shall pass” that’s what I kept repeating to myself when it seemed like such a long road ahead of feeling crappy. It’ll be over soon, nothing wrong with having a vent either, sending hugs xx

[delia2 in reply to Schnauzer19]

Thank you so much, Schnauzer.

[Dales-Rambler]

Oh, Delia2, I remember that feeling so well. Be kind to yourself, let your daughter and granddaughter know how you feel, and allow yourself to let that 'brave face' slip now and again. I found a combination of anti sickness meds helped me much more 2nd time around. And just trying to eat little savory bits now and again, seemed to help with the nausea.Sending you hugs and Holiday wishes. 🤗

[delia2 in reply to Dales-Rambler]

Thank you for your kindness and Happy holidays yourself.

[Supermary]

Keep venting it is good and normal

The steroids the nausea meds the pills all of it sucks and gives you other issues on top of the chemo issues

It’s a journey a battle and it’s really tough sometimes

Be kind to yourself . Eat what you like watch tv that you like rest when you want and can

Buy yourself some flowers if they cheer you up

Whatever it takes

We are are all with you sending

Big hugs !!

Margaret

[delia2 in reply to Supermary]

Thanks, Margaret. Yes to the flowers!💐🌸🌺

[Katmal-UK]

Vent away…. What I will say is I was diagnosed 3b HGS BRAC2 in Oct 2007, despite 2 recurrences, 3 trial drugs, still on a trial for Olaparib since early Jan 2014 I have been NED for 10 years 8 months. It’s hard but you may be able to turn this round. Ok today may be crap but as someone said, this too shall pass. Listen to yr body. I’m sure your family understand and just want to be with you x

[delia2 in reply to Katmal-UK]

Thanks, Katmal.

[Leniko]

I’ve Certainly been there. Try to remind yourself that it’s time limited and you’ll feel better again. Your body needs to rest. I agree that trying steroids and anti-nausea med should make you feel better. All the Best 🙏❤️

[delia2 in reply to Leniko]

Thanks, Leniko.

[JustKBO]

hi there I haven’t read any of the replies so sorry if this is repetition. Chemo is hard. No wonder people call us warriors and commend our toughness. I can remember telling my husband it wasn’t worth it and I’d never do it again but first Reoccurrence- “give me the drugs!” Seriously it’s hell but, be brave, it is worth it. It passes and with a bit of luck you’ll look back on it in years to come and will be grateful you stuck with it. Just be kind to yourself, I used to lie like a little bundle of rags on the settee. Ginger beer helped me. Take painkillers when you ache. X

[delia2 in reply to JustKBO]

Thanks for the encouragement! I really appreciate it.

[thejoannabell]

You are most definitely not being a baby! I was diagnosed IIIc in 2020, then had a recurrence 5 months later, then a year of some combo of niraparib and avastin. Had a rotator cuff repair about a year ago and just had another on the other shoulder 2 weeks ago. I attribute the tendon tears to all of those chemo and maintenance meds. Now I’m NED and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But when I think about the possibility of recurrence sometimes I feel like I just couldn’t do it again. I most likely would, but I really understand not wanting to. Quality of life is important too, and chemo just takes that away for a while. It’s just hard, all you can do is try to hang in there. Wishing you strength and peace while you deal with this!

[delia2 in reply to thejoannabell]

Thanks. I’m glad you are feeling better and ned. Long may it last! I have to have rotator cuff surgery when chemo is done.

[Pumpkininja]

Dear delia2 , hope you get better soon.normally they give me something called dexamethasone at least 2 -3 days after the chemo...for the nausea of the caelyx/ carbo.You cannot call them and ask? Litican helps but on my case just around 4-5 day.

Wishing you all the best.

Good recovery xxx

[delia2 in reply to Pumpkininja]

Thanks. I did start dexamethasone again and it helped.

[Pumpkininja in reply to delia2]

Good recovery. Best wishes xxx

[Irisisme]

Hi Delia 2,

You are NOT being a baby! Sometimes it seems just too hard to cope with I know, especially when you want to take part in family life as you used to do but find you can’t.

When I found chemo too hard I had my oncologist reduce the dose slightly. I’m having 80% of my Paclitaxel now, instead of the full dose. My last CT scan showed it was still doing its job. You could try that rather than stopping chemo. I can now cope with the side-effects because they are less.

Do remember that your family probably understand that you can’t do what you used to do. They may feel better about the whole situation if they can do things for you, like bringing in some shopping or making lunch for themselves and you when they visit. Instead of not knowing what to do for you, you could ask them to do a little job.

That’s my view anyway. I hope you can get over this. I hope I’m right about your family; it is often how these things are.

Wishing you better times ahead,

Iris 🤗

[delia2]

Thanks a lot, Irisisme. I’m feeling better now and feeling more optimistic. I did try as you suggest, asking them to walk the dog etc.

[StilCrazy]

Hi Delia2, You can't make the decision to give up while you are feeling awful. Hang in for another week and then rethink it. The exhaustion of this cancer is that you know that a cure is never an option. If you knew you would be cured you could walk through fire, but at best you will get a longish period of relief and then another recurrence. It is incredibly hard to persevere. I cannot offer you any easy fixes but I agree with you, it is very hard. Try and do something you enjoy every day even if just watching a good movie! Much love and wishing you faith xx

[Pawpaw22]

Sorry to hear your experiences. It is a struggle to get up and try and do something, however small, and yet we fellow travellers know that it has to be done. If I am not well nourished I feel worse, so I try and gather food that I can eat (mouth ulcers, sore gums) every few days and organise protein shakes and soups. I have found that flavourless pea protein is ok in any soups. I used to make my own soup but can't do the packing, freezing etc. So I use cans. Cheese, yoghurt, steamed potatoes with butter, canned fruit, chocolate ... Whatever goes down and lots of cups of hot tea. Multivitamins, B6, vitamin D, B Complex and zinc.

Other than that, keep in touch with family and write cards to friends. They like to know I am doing ok or trying to feel ok. Contact with people is vital. A few of my buddies are very happy to come around with their own lunch and sit and chat in the middle of the day. When they arae gone I can have a nap. It breaks up the day and I don't feel isolated.

I wish you well.